After class he came to me. he was terrified that I would notify his parents. Of course, I threw it back on him. The last time I took his toys, he looked me in the eye and told me that he wouldn't do it any more. Since he went back on that promise, I didn't see any reason not to notify his parents (which was inevitable - not being his first phone offense, they would have to pick it up from the front office themselves.)
What came out next was the shocker:
"They might hurt me if you tell them."
Now, understand that I would never condone a physical assault on a child - however if I were the kind of adult that would do such a thing, this kid would be high on my list. But that's beside the point. His little comment brought the conversation to a new level, one that left me with few options. I was hoping for both of our sakes that he was playing a very risky bluff card. Unfortunately for him, my next card was not a bluff.
"In that case, I have to refer this issue to counseling"His eyes got as wide as dinner plates.
"No, don't do that, it will make it worse!"
"I don't really have a choice - I'm required by law....""Please.... I said something at my last school, and it only made everything worse..."
"Be that as it may...I...am...required...by...law..... If I do not report it, I would be an accessory to a crime."
"I'll promise, I'll never do it again..."
"There is no bargaining here... I have a clear path dictated by both my conscience and the law. Even if that were not the case, you already went back on one promise. I have no reason to believe that you won't do it again. "
"I lied."
"Really?"
"It never happened. My dad never beat me."
"I see. Well, one of two things is going to happen. One is that I report the incident to counseling, who may in turn report it to Child Protective Services, and you have an investigation on your hands. The other is that I contact your parents, explain the incident to them, and tell them that you concocted a story that involved fictitious child abuse on their part in order to prevent me from contacting them in the first place. You tell me which you would rather have."
"........(sobs)........"
"Here [hands him a hall pass] take this to your next class. At the very least, expect to talk to your counselor today."
Here's the funny thing. Given the potential severity of the situation, I had to accept the possibility that what he was telling me was true - And yet I was still pissed at him. Like seething hot barely able to keep from trembling pissed. I guess when it comes right down to it, I didn't believe him. I've known kids, a lot of kids, actually, who were the victims of family abuse, and he just didn't...feel like one of them. I can't explain it, but my gut tells me it was a poorly concocted ruse.
On the odd chance it isn't I took it too the middle school counselor, who called the kid in and talked with him. She told me later that since he didn't a) have any physical signs of abuse and b) didn't get a 'confession' out of him, she couldn't refer it to CPS. Like me, she thinks he was just trying to get out of trouble with his parents.
So my dilemma is what to do with it now. I turned the phone in to the front office who (I hope) called the parents in to retrieve it. I'm wondering now if I should contact them directly. A good friend advised me to send a simple message, informing them of the incident and adding "he seemed particularly distressed at the idea that I would talk to you."
That seems like the best thing, although I'm not sure how I would feel if it did lead to some sort of undue harassment or physical abuse. At the same time, is it my fault if it does?
