Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I am prone to being overly critical of myself at times. It's something that I hold on to, because I have seen teachers who give up trying to make themselves better.... and the last thing I want to become is one of those. I also have a way of comparing myself to the best music teachers I know.... and I know some damn good music teachers.
I have plenty of evidence of things to feel good about... plenty of things to be proud of. I have admiration from colleagues, affection from students and families, stellar professional evaluation results and even a few teaching awards. I have memories of wonderful concerts, and so many exciting performance opportunities that I'm starting to have trouble remembering them all.
And still I find ways of beating myself down. I thought about that recently, especially as I was carefully removing the bronze plaque (the one I mentioned in my last post) dedicated to the legendary NRHS instrumental director. I'd like to think that he would approve of the job I've done over the last 14 years at NRHS. But he and I were so different - his main strength was being a tough disciplinarian. I am anything but.... my bleeding heart and easy-going nature makes me an easy target for students who want to skate by. If nothing else, I'd like to think that he would appreciate the mere fact that since his passing, I was the first teacher to dig in and make a real go of it.
Before I got there, NRHS was the program no one would really want. No one good, anyway. It's a tough job - mixed middle school and high school population, vocal and instrumental, no strong feeders. It's almost a built-in recipe for failure. Because of that, I was preceded by a string of teachers who took the job only until they could find something better. One woman in particular is an outstanding educator - probably one of the best in Southern California. That she gave up after only three years makes me feel a little nervous.
I wish I could say that I was truly beating the odds and succeeding where other failed. The truth is that after 14 years, the NHRS musical product is still not up to what you'd find in a normal high school (with the exception of my advanced choir). On the other hand - I am making it work well enough that a lot of kids go through the program, and come out on the other end satisfied and appreciative... and don't think that I can't see the value in that.
And as I started moving boxes of stuff out of my office, I was hit by another thought - one that made my coming to NRHS seem almost preordained: This program is about to be ripped from it's home and set adrift in a tiny lifeboat for no less than two years (probably more) while the new facility is completed. What it needs more than anything is someone who can keep the community intact and functional. Not to discount musical knowledge, pedagogy and classroom management - but we're going to be in survival mode until we reach the promised land. I'm the guy for the job... if for no other reason, for the fact that I'm the one who cares that much.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
EXODUS!
Alas dear readers, so much has happened since the last time I posted.... So much. The end of the year crunch hit me like a hurricane and now I find myself scarcely able to collect all my thoughts to summarize. My concerts went well. My "Great Reform" never really manifested into a practical process, but I still think the work I did in laying the foundation was valuable. A lot of good ideas that need more development... I'll pick at it this Summer. The key is to keep making small changes as I go along, rather than setting myself up to fail at trying to make a lot of big changes all at once. I did manage to make some small changes already. I'm good with that.
There were so many incidents with students in the last month... both good and bad. Now they are all being washed away by the bustle of the last week of school... a process that is particularly chaotic for me this year. You see, my classes are being temporarily relocated while my facility is being renovated (and by renovated, I mean demolished and rebuilt). The last few days have been exhausting. I'm moving from two large rooms into one semi-largish portable. I've been using my students to move light stuff - boxes and instruments. District muscle men have been handling the heavy stuff. The most frustrating part is the inability to arrange the portable to my preference - until the electrical team finishes their work on the outlets and the network drops, we have to keep all of our stuff in the center of the room.
Already we can see that there is a serious space issue. The portable is dangerously cramped. The good news is that the district is providing ample storage for us at an off-campus facility. Still, the essential equipment is gobbling up the classroom space quickly. Add into that the fact that I have to sacrifice a lot of my storage units... it's just kind of scary. There are a lot of things that concern me... or at least they should. The loss of my second room and all the practice rooms means that next year, I have to make major adjustments to how I operate. I haven't even begun to work that through yet. Right now... I'm focused on the move - no time to be worried about much else.
I don't even have an office any more - well the room is still there (for now) but the desk is gone, the computers got packed up (I took them home - I heard too many horror stories stories about valuables walking off during building renovation). The only thing that keeps me functional is my ipad and a router that's plugged into a drop in the choir room (which, rest assured, will be the absolute last thing to go). I can't even print out my last attendance report.
The kids have been asking if they can write on the walls. Actually, it sounds like a good idea - except that with the middle school boys, I'll probably get a bunch of stick figures with exaggerated genitalia... or maybe just the genitalia without the stick figures. In any case, I'd want it to be kind of thoughtful.
The one thing I haven't really given much thought to is the pianos - seven of them, including two grands. Some weeks ago, I emailed a list of what needed to go where to the admin in charge of facilities. Supposedly, he took care of it.... supposedly. (Actually, the world would be better off if some of them went down with the building - I think they made better rat nests than instruments).
The saddest thing is that I feel there should be some kind of... I don't know.... ceremony or something. There is a lot of history in the music rooms at NRHS. A lot of people came through those rooms. The founding instrumental teacher even died there. There was a bronze plaque for him on the wall just outside the instrumental room - It was one of the first things I took down and packed away. I'll talk to the construction people about setting aside a piece of wall to install it somewhere in the new building.
In any case - I'm at the point where most of the stuff that needs to be moved is. I probably have about ten boxes of stuff that I need to decide what to do with. You know.... that stuff that you don't need, but you don't want to throw out? I'm not sure what to do with it, except try to find some space for it now, and deal with it in September.
There are a few things that I'm actually looking forward to. Unlike my current facility, the portable is not in a convenient "pass through" location from the central quad to the parking lot (I used to have people cut through my room - sometimes in the middle of class.) It's a bit of a trek from the main campus. That means I'll probably have a diminished loitering factor. Also, since there isn't a bunch of practice rooms to disappear in, it won't be as inviting a spot to hang out in, since being in there means being in constant eye and ear shot of the teacher. I think it will be quieter and easier to keep clean, as well as easier to lock up at night. No music lockers means less convenience for the students, but less headache for me. The addition of windows will provide possible distraction, and maybe even a security issue - but they will also add something I've never had - an external view. Granted, one of those views is the back side of the other portables - but hey, sunlight is sunlight. The other view is the baseball field - whose sprinklers provide a constant arc of water that kind of resembles a dancing fountain. Kind of.
There were so many incidents with students in the last month... both good and bad. Now they are all being washed away by the bustle of the last week of school... a process that is particularly chaotic for me this year. You see, my classes are being temporarily relocated while my facility is being renovated (and by renovated, I mean demolished and rebuilt). The last few days have been exhausting. I'm moving from two large rooms into one semi-largish portable. I've been using my students to move light stuff - boxes and instruments. District muscle men have been handling the heavy stuff. The most frustrating part is the inability to arrange the portable to my preference - until the electrical team finishes their work on the outlets and the network drops, we have to keep all of our stuff in the center of the room.
Already we can see that there is a serious space issue. The portable is dangerously cramped. The good news is that the district is providing ample storage for us at an off-campus facility. Still, the essential equipment is gobbling up the classroom space quickly. Add into that the fact that I have to sacrifice a lot of my storage units... it's just kind of scary. There are a lot of things that concern me... or at least they should. The loss of my second room and all the practice rooms means that next year, I have to make major adjustments to how I operate. I haven't even begun to work that through yet. Right now... I'm focused on the move - no time to be worried about much else.
I don't even have an office any more - well the room is still there (for now) but the desk is gone, the computers got packed up (I took them home - I heard too many horror stories stories about valuables walking off during building renovation). The only thing that keeps me functional is my ipad and a router that's plugged into a drop in the choir room (which, rest assured, will be the absolute last thing to go). I can't even print out my last attendance report.
The kids have been asking if they can write on the walls. Actually, it sounds like a good idea - except that with the middle school boys, I'll probably get a bunch of stick figures with exaggerated genitalia... or maybe just the genitalia without the stick figures. In any case, I'd want it to be kind of thoughtful.
The one thing I haven't really given much thought to is the pianos - seven of them, including two grands. Some weeks ago, I emailed a list of what needed to go where to the admin in charge of facilities. Supposedly, he took care of it.... supposedly. (Actually, the world would be better off if some of them went down with the building - I think they made better rat nests than instruments).
The saddest thing is that I feel there should be some kind of... I don't know.... ceremony or something. There is a lot of history in the music rooms at NRHS. A lot of people came through those rooms. The founding instrumental teacher even died there. There was a bronze plaque for him on the wall just outside the instrumental room - It was one of the first things I took down and packed away. I'll talk to the construction people about setting aside a piece of wall to install it somewhere in the new building.
In any case - I'm at the point where most of the stuff that needs to be moved is. I probably have about ten boxes of stuff that I need to decide what to do with. You know.... that stuff that you don't need, but you don't want to throw out? I'm not sure what to do with it, except try to find some space for it now, and deal with it in September.
There are a few things that I'm actually looking forward to. Unlike my current facility, the portable is not in a convenient "pass through" location from the central quad to the parking lot (I used to have people cut through my room - sometimes in the middle of class.) It's a bit of a trek from the main campus. That means I'll probably have a diminished loitering factor. Also, since there isn't a bunch of practice rooms to disappear in, it won't be as inviting a spot to hang out in, since being in there means being in constant eye and ear shot of the teacher. I think it will be quieter and easier to keep clean, as well as easier to lock up at night. No music lockers means less convenience for the students, but less headache for me. The addition of windows will provide possible distraction, and maybe even a security issue - but they will also add something I've never had - an external view. Granted, one of those views is the back side of the other portables - but hey, sunlight is sunlight. The other view is the baseball field - whose sprinklers provide a constant arc of water that kind of resembles a dancing fountain. Kind of.
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