It's come to this...

So, I share an office with Choir Teacher Buzz.  It's like sharing  space with a teenager.   For all of his talents, he has some maturing to do.  It is my strong belief that Buzz has lived most of his life in communal environments in which the concept of personal ownership of items and supplies, while not completely ignored, is considered (as Captain Barbossa would put it) "more of  a guideline".

In short - he takes my shit.

In his first year at New Republic HS, he would borrow my personal electronics without asking - sometimes loaning it out to students.  He would also use some of the music department stuff, which is fine, but there were times when we would both need the mobile AV cart, and it never occured to him to ask, even when said equipment was hooked up in my classroom. He takes office supplies that I had paid for out of my pocket, and even things like iced teas that I bought in bulk from Costco.  One time he used up an entire box of large envelopes for a project he was working on for his masters program.

He's not trying to 'steal' anything.  He just uses what's around him when it's convenient, and doesn't consider the impact it will have on others.  He figures if he just offers to compensate that it will smooth everything over. To illustrate this further, I offer the following anecdote taken from one of our joint over-night mountain retreats:

I had just lead an excursion to the local market for food.  We were mostly shopping for the group, but a few of the students used their own money to buy personal items.  One of those items was a bag of chips that ended up being opened by Buzz immediately upon our return to the cabin.  "Oh, did Nathan buy those for you?" I asked "I thought he got those for himself.  He kept saying that those are his favorite."  Without skipping a beat he answered "I don't know who they belong to - I figure that if they get upset, I'll buy them more chips."

And he kept eating them.

To his credit, Buzz is fairly generous with his own things - still, he doesn't seem to understand that he causes distress and disappointment that he can not assuage by simply replacing the item(s) in question. In my case, he's more likely to just give me money.   It's not about adequate compensation - it's about trust.  It's also about...

GODDAMMIT MUTHERFUCKER YOU ARE BARELY IN YOUR THIRTIES WITH NO FAMILY.   I HAVE A WIFE AND A GODDAM KID AND I'M RUSHING OUT OF HERE MOST NIGHTS TO PICK HIS ASS UP FROM SCHOOL AND TAKE HIM TO FUCKING KARATE LESSONS OR SWIM LESSONS...NO, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STOP AT FUCKING STAPLES OR TARGET AND GET MORE ENVELOPES FOR "US" - GET YOUR FUCKING ASS TO THE STORE AND REPLACE THE SHIT YOU TOOK.  IF YOU HAVE A BIG FUCKING PROJECT WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO USE UP ALL OF THE SHIT, THEN GO BUY IT IN BULK BEFORE YOUR START RATHER THAN TAKING ALL OF MINE.  SO PUT YOUR FUCKING MONEY BACK IN YOUR FUCKING WALLET BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING  TO TAKE IT AND GO SHOPPING FOR MORE LIKE YOUR FUCKING HOUSEKEEPER!

Anyway... We've already talked about it.  It helped a little.  He's stopped borrowing my tech.  (I was tempted to take his car keys and then tell him that a student needed to use his car to go buy some drum heads or something right before a concert).  But my pens still disappear, as does my stapler and tape dispenser.  I can't remember the last time I didn't have to go hunting for a pair of scissors.

We'll talk again, but I'm coming up with some other counter-measures of my own.  I've installed a lock box under my desk where I can keep the small stuff that I don't want to walk off.   I'm also going to put the folders and envelopes in the old filing cabinets that are tucked away deep in instrumental music territory.  They lock too.   It will probably work in the interim, but I'm also concerned about spending the message that anything *not* stashed in those locations is fair game.  Waddaya do?

This would be a bullshit thing to take to the admin, but I almost willing to bet it will get there before the year is out.