Your Fall to the Dark Side is Complete.

So...

About this time of year, my 0 period classes start to get kind of lazy. This year it set in with a particularly high intensity. Yesterday I sent out an e-mail message to the students and their families - You need to be here on time, every time. Don't bring your homework into rehearsal, don't skip class just because you need to study a little more for that chem test.

And oh by the way - I'm applying the tardies and absences to your grade.

Well, Darth Weasel, Principal Palpatine's favorite student, actually e-mailed me back with a long explanation that since the class no longer stimulated him, he no longer felt obliged to show up on time.

Now, for you newer readers.... I have an interesting history with Darth Weasel. He started out at Empire High as an intelligent but extremely socially awkward freshman. He caught a lot of abuse in the music department, but nowhere near as much as he caught out in the jungle outside our walls. Despite that, he became a pretty solid performer on his instrument, and... well, we started to accept him as "a dork.... but our dork."

Then along came Principal Palpatine. She immediately recognized in him the same self-serving ambition that she possesses her self, and immediately began to bestow honors and favors upon him. Of course, all of this went to his head faster than Lindsay Lohan can bait paparazzi. By the end of his sophomore year, he was an insufferable blow-hard.

When he complained to Palpatine about the way I ran my class, she called me into her office and read me the riot act. That was the point at which my Palp-o-Meter went from "threat" to "antichrist."

I've had attendence issues with him before, and when I took it out of his grade, he tried to go to her again. That time she couldn't do anything - his attendence had been documented. She had to back down.

So now he's decided that he really doesn't have a need to show up on time anymore. To which I respond that I don't really have a need to give him an "A." Will he go to Palpatine? Maybe.... or maybe he'll just remember where that got him last time. Maybe he'll realize that Palpatine has other, more pressing things to worry about right now that beating up a music teacher on his behalf.

...or maybe I'll be called into Palpatine's office and be put through the meat grinder again. Of course, I'll be happy to remind her that she's the one who recently told the faculty that it is unacceptable to give an "A" to a student with attendence issues.

Oh Weasel... you know what your'e problem is? You are exactly like Palpatine.... you only want to be outstanding on paper. You're useless in real life.

Wolfgang Amadeus Babysitter

So... as I look forward to the birth of my first child, I contemplate the steps that I will take to introduce him/her to the world of art and beauty and music. Of course..... music. The advantage of being a music teacher is that I don't have to go out of my way to buy any "Baby Mozart" CDs... I just have to make playlists out of my formidable collection. Easy enough.

But a thought crossed my mind: People scurry to the store to buy the "Baby Mozart" CDs when they find out that they're due for a little diapered package. That in and of itself is cool. You'd think that this kind of thing would mean that we'd have whole generations of kids by now who were little Mozart lovers. But the thing is... there isn't. Well, not that there aren't kids learning about Mozart... there are. But I think the whole "Baby Mozart" thing is kind of a sham. People think that they just pipe some Eine Kleine Nachtmusik into the baby's room for a few hours a day and *PRESTO* - the kid turns into Jesus Einstein. It doesn't quite work that way. I think music has to be a regular part of the home environment. If the parents aren't tuned in (pun intended) it won't make much of a difference.

I don't know, I guess I'm just a little miffed that people believe that music (especially classical music) is "good for making you smarter"... but they completely miss the emotional and spiritual power that is possible. I know that one of the biggest arguments for school music programs is that musical training has been linked with higher test scores. Of course, it depends on what kind of music you're talking about. After all, reading makes you smarter as long as you read something that stretches your mind. ANd music for IQ's sake... well that's like getting married to increase your household income.

So am I going to play Mozart for my kid? Yeah... I am. But not because I want my kid to be smarter than everyone else's kid. I'm going to do it because Mozart is awesome, and because one of the first things I want to instill in my child is the one thing that has driven every meaningful development in my life: the ability to percieve beauty.

Llama of the Week

Oops, forgot to post last weeks llama. This week you get two:

Dropping the "B" Bomb

Let me set the stage for you....

It's my 0 period advanced choir. The kids shuffled in as per their usual sleepy morning fashion (half of them some minutes after the bell rang.) We finally get the rehearsal up and running: warm-ups, strecthes and what not.

About half way through the rehearsal I put my scores down and sit on my little bar stool next to the piano.

"Well, folks... I guess it's time we had a little talk. You're the first class that I'm making this official announcement to."

(silence)

"This is in regards to my.... situation next year. I want you all to know that I love you all very much.... as if you were my own children."

(stunned silence)

"However.... you need to know that next year I will....... finally have a child of my own."

(the group sits silent... only for a second... then the room erupts with squeals... mostly the girls)

Yeah, I know.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad....

>:-)

The Battle Over Endor

.... is far from over. But the shield bunker has been destroyed and the Rebel Fleet is making it's run on the Death Star.

keep

your

fingers


crossed










[Edit]

Well, now it's starting to look like the Rebel Fleet, Klingon Empire, The Kingdom of Gondor, Power Rangers (all 14 versions), and even the friggin Knights of Ni are lining up to take a shot at the Emperor. ....Wow....

Empire High: Ground Zero

However unsure I am about the fate of the EHS Music Department, I do know one thing: I would not want to be an administrator at EHS right now. In particular, I would not want to be Principal Palpatine, who is more under fire now that she's ever been.

This week hasn't been kind to her. The visiting accreditation teams nailed us for failure to implement their suggestions from their last formal visit three years ago (Which included, among other things, a need for a "shared decision making process.") On top of that she's been served legal papers for at least two separate issues. Then add in the fact that she's already built up a long list of reasons why a lot of people (including her superiors) want to see her go.

Not that she's without supporters: She has a strong following of parents who love her because she's catered to their requests for the last four years. (But also keep in mind that these have been the families who have been useful to her; movers, shaker and donators... There are also a good number of students and families who have been burned by her as much as the faculty have been.) She also has the seemingly unconditional backing of the district, who continually come to her rescue because they have to... but I suspect they are growing very weary of the frequency with which such assistance is necessary.

Am I excited about the prospect of these events possibly being the beginning if her swan song?

Well.. first of all, I know from experience not to get my hopes up. Palpatine is a classic arch-villain whose apparent demise is always foiled just before the credits roll. Furthermore, I'm not entirely comfortable with the damage that's being done in the wake of this conflict. It isn't just Palpatine whose been dragged through the fire in the media, it's all of Empire High School. That hasn't necessarily worked in Drama Teacher's favor in terms of the general opinion of him around the school. Finally, I realize know that most revolutions result in a power vacuum that may cause more chaos that the presence of a dictator does. There's no telling whether or not our next principal will be worse. ("The devil you know...." and all that).

In short, I long for it and fear it at the same time.

No matter what happens, I can say one thing for sure: I can guarantee that come next school year, Palpatine's dominance over my being will be shattered by the smallest of creatures.

Llama of the Week

Only a Lad

Only a lad
He really couldnt help it
Only a lad
He didnt want to do it
Only a lad
Hes underprivileged and abused
Perhaps a little bit confused

- Oingo Boingo

To the Empire High Students who made a very stupid, public "threat" on one of my own:

I know you're just teenage boys... and I understand that in all likelihood, you never would have had the guts to carry out your hormone-induced rage fantasy. Nevertheless, it showed a lack of humanity that would prompt one to suspect the absence of a soul. Perhaps your parents will claim that "boys are just like that at this age." But then if they saw something posted online that suggested that their child should be sexually assaulted and murdered, I think they'd feel differently.

It really shouldn't make difference that it was a music student who was a target of your stupidity. I should be outraged no matter who it was. But it just so happens that the person you humiliated is one of mine... and when I was given a face to put that gruesome scenario.... a face that I care about...

.......

In my opinion, the little "community service" slap on the wrist you got for your actions doesn't come close to meting out what you deserve... and what you deserve is to experience genuine repulsion for your own actions.

If only you could be put in the mind of your victim, and see the world through her eyes... that you could could feel the pain and anger associated with your face... a face you'd have to look at every day of your life afterwords.

As it is, it may be that you won't understand the depth of your actions until you get older... that is if you manage to grow a conscience. Or maybe some day you'll have a daughter who finds herself in a similar situation, or a son who commits a similar act himself... and you'll have no choice but to look in the mirror and re-evaluate your youth in a different light.

Or maybe you'll be the same sociopath bastards that you are today. That would be easier for you.

Adventures in Autism

So... little Autistic Billy... the kid who showed up to choir class with his eyebrows shaved off? Well... Apparently last week he pulled out his penis and waved it around in his math class.

Yeah.

A New Ally

Sometimes I think I play 'Martin Luther King' to Drama Teacher's 'Malcolm X' where Principal Palpatine is concerned.* While my quiet resistance has proven to be far less controversial, and easier on my students and parents, his organized, militant response may have been far more effective in chipping away at her hold on Empire High. I stress "may have." I never actively tried to attack Palpatine. I just wanted to protect the my little kingdom from reckless, aggressive restructuring. But in my endeavors I find myself inching ever so closely towards the road that Palpatine wants me to walk down. She's close to her goal. She can smell it.

Nevertheless, I have made some progress myself. As I had hoped, last night turned out to be a good move for me. By just trying to go to the game, I earned big brownie points with Girls Sport Parent, who also happens to be one of the top movers and shakers in the community.

Cha-Ching. Add him to the list of powerful friends (of which I have a few).

The difference between me and Drama Teacher is that I don't use my connections to attack, only defend. Back when I had problems earlier this year with Palpatine, I had people behind the scenes doing damage control so that she couldn't paint me out as a trouble-making insubordinate rabblerouser to the district. Turns out my existing reputation took care of that for me. So just trying to do a good job, and taking care of my kids goes a long way..... as it should.

Where GSP can be useful is in establishing a process by which the individual sports, their coaches and booster parents work directly with me, rather than through administration. That puts me in control of when we play and where. I don't see how she could get in the way of that without making it painfully obvious that she wants direct control of the drum line schedule.

In the mean time, Palpatine may have more things to worry about. It's a damn good thing I'm not involved.

* Maybe not the best analogy. Both those guys were assassinated.

Well Don't That Beat All

So, even though the Drum Line bowed out of playing the Wednesday's semi-final game, we did manage to get something together for tonight's championship game. The only problem was.... it didn't happen.

Well... the game happened, but the drumming part didn't.

I decided that since Girls Sport Parent had helped the music program out in the past, and since it was he (not Principal Palpatine) that called and asked us (rather than told us) so nicely... oh what the heck. I scrounged up about 7 of the 13 kids on drum line to play. I e-mailed GSP back and told him we were coming. He responded with much enthusiasm. Meanwhile I wondered if I were sending a precedent that anyone could call us at any time, and that we would be expected to oblige.

I recruited a few parents to help haul kids and drums. We all met at the school, loaded up the gear and headed over to the host school. When we got there, we found that the parking lot was full. With only a few minutes to get the kids inside, the drivers did a tactical deployment on the curb. I told the kids to go to the event entrance and wait while I found parking.

Parking ended up being five blocks away in a residential area.

I was walking briskly back to the school when my cel phone went off. It was Suzie Section Leader.

"What's Up, SSL?"

"Um... Mr. M? They won't let us in..."

"What? Why not? GSP said he told them we were coming... or somebody did... I think..."

"They said we didn't have uniforms. They don't believe we're real band kids."

"Ummm... you showed them the drums, right?"

"Yeah... they didn't buy it."

"Okay... look, I'm only a block away. I'll talk to them when I get there. We may have to buy tickets. If we do, I'll make sure you get reimbursed"

I got to the cross walk just outside the school parking lot when my phone went off again.

"Yeah?"

"Mr. M... we have another problem."

"What?"

"They say we can only play before and after the game."

"What? I was told we'd get time-outs and stuff"

"I'm only telling you what they're telling us."

"Okay... ummm... look, I'm just across the street. I'll be there in a minute."

When I finally got there, I saw the kids and parents patiently standing outside the event entrance. Over by the ticket table I saw a woman who kind of looked like a representative. I made my way towards her. I think she expected me to be really pissed off, because she stiffened up as I approached.

"Hi.... I'm Mr. Maestro... Empire High School Music Teacher"

"Hi... look... ummm... we can't let the kids in."

"Not at all?"

"Well, not with the drums. CIF rules. No Artificial Noise Makers."

I wanted to laugh. I also wanted to say "Hey Lady, relax... I didn't want to come in the first place." I kept that bit of information to myself.

"Okay... well... look, I can tell this isn't your fault. And just for the record, people on our end specifically asked us to be here, so here we are. Obviously someone got their wires crossed."

"I'm sorry. They can still come in... just not with the drums."

"Well... we don't have a place to store them. We drove them over in an open pick-up truck, and I don't want to just leave them there. I think we need to just go back to the school. Thanks anyway."

I think the lady was kind of surprised how not pissed I was. But honestly, I had absolutely no problem turning around and getting back in my car. Of course, I was a little ticked that I had basically given up a Saturday for no reason. But at least the kids and their parents didn't hold it against me. How could they?

We all went out to eat.

The funny thing is that it ended up being kind of a nice evening out with the drum kids. We hung out in the restaurant,talked and told stories. And in the end, the botched drumline appearance may work in my favor: I'm sure GSP will feel bad about it, and although I don't plan on holding him responsible, I do think I'll earn some extra brownie points for trying... something that may be useful when it comes to dealing with Principal Palpatine in the near future.

As we walked out of the restaraunt, I turned to one of the parents -

"Thanks for coming out and helping... even though it didn't turn out."

"Oh, I think they had fun regardless. It must be hard for you, though.... coming out so late."

"Nah... it was either this or stay at home and poke around on the internet for hours."

"Do you have kids?"

I shot a look at the drummers... they were all in earshot

"No"

"Oh, well that's good. It would be a lot harder if you had kids."

I just smiled.

P.S. The drummers want T-Shirts that say "Artificial Noise Makers" :-)