Friday, May 25, 2007

Just when I start to lose sight of hope

You already know that I've looked at job listings... and that I turned away from that thought. My symbiosis with this school all but makes the idea of leaving impossible. It also generates a great deal of distress.... here I am without the will to leave, nor the strength to defend myself from a psychotic micromanaging principal. And while I have plenty of friends and allies on campus, it seems no one else is in much of a position to do anything about it.

I took my kids on a recruitment performance tour of the feeding elementary schools. Things were going well, but then about half way through I found myself almost laughing. What the hell is the point? Why recruit when the decision to enroll has been taken out of everyone's hands?

I'm back at school for not ten minutes when my cel phone goes off. It's one of the choir parents who has been a particularly ardent supporter. She tells me that parents have been talking. She tells me that they want to meet with Palpatine. She tells me that it would be best if I stay clear... and just go back to being a teacher.

I do not know what I did to deserve this community... but you see now why I don't want to leave.

"You cannot enter here," said Gandalf, and the huge shadow halted. "Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!"

The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set. The red fires shone between it and the mantled shoulders vast and dark. From a mouth unseen there came a deadly laughter.

"Old fool!" he said. "Old Fool! This is my hour. Do you not know death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!" And with that he lifted high his sword and flames ran down the blade.

Gandalf did not move. And in that very moment, away behind the same courtyard of the City, a cock crowed. Shrill and clear he crowed, reckoning nothing of wizardry or war, welcoming only the morning that in the sky far above the shadows of death was coming with the dawn.

And as if in answer there came from far away another note. Horns, horns, horns. In dark Mindolluin's sides they dimly echoed. Great horns of the North wildly blowing. Rohan had come at last.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Can't post blogs from work.... some kind of interference with the whole g-mail thing.

I am starting to understand a loathing for an individual unlike any other I've encountered. I would be hard pressed to think of someonefor which the word "hate" applied... but Palpatine is interfering with my happiness on a daily basis.

I came home tonight late, much later than I wanted. I spent four hours after work preparing for a recruitment trip to the elementary schools that suddenly seems to be completely pointless, now that 7th graders will be involuntarly placed in a beginning band class. Did I also mention that Palpatine is dissolving my AP theory class to create said band class? How about the fact that no other music option besides band is being offered? Or the fact that Palpatine has been announcing to people that yes... *MY SCHOOL* is building a marching band.

So yeah, I came home today.... and instead of going out to dinner with my wife, I went to sleep. My wife, being kind of frustrated just fixed herself something. I ended up not eating... and didn't drag myself out of bed until now to check my e-mail... and I'm not hungry... and it just occured to me that I think I skipped lunch as well.

I'll probably get something tomorrow morning at a drive through... but I'll tell you... I didn't eat dinner last night, either.

Monday, May 21, 2007

On Leopards and Spots

So Palpatine has gone out of her way to be really nice to me lately. Smiles.... hugs even (as I've told you.) Sadly, I knew better than to trust it. One thing I am sure of... the immediate course of my program will be decided without my input. In fact, it may have been already.

At least there are those in the Imperial advisory council that are sympathetic to my plight.... sympathetic enough to warn me when an administrative meeting has transpired in which a course of action for the music deparetment was layed out. From what I understand, a valiant effort was made to defend the integrity of my program from a poorly advised plan to stuff the department roll sheets with students who may or may not have had any desire to be enrolled in music. She has done this without any thought of how well equipped we are to handle a massive influx of "band"students. She has done so without thought of forcing a group of students into a situation where they will be expected to pay for their own spplies, as well as devote time outside of their school day to mandatory performances. But alas, the Emperor always has the last word.

A year ago.... hell three months ago I would have been shocked and mortified. These days, there's very little that Palpatine can do to surprise me. In fact, you can not be betrayed where there is no trust left. The fact that this provides some amount of comfort is a sad thought indeed.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Just keep me away from sharp objects and firearms...

Despite how ominous that title sounds... there have not been any further crisis with Palpatine. Not today. Yesterday, in fact, Palpatine approached me and gave me a hug. I guess she tuned in on how distraught I've been and how much I've been avoiding her. Maybe I'll blog about that moment later.

No... today has just been kind of a crappy day. Or maybe its just the last 2 hours. Small things... like the realization that where once I had 7 microphone stands, I now have 3. This is because the music department has apparently become the go-to for things like that. .. everyone from ASB to Drama to... welll whoever needs a mic stand. Yesterday I went and dropped $100 dollars at Guitar center replacing things.... instrument cords, microphone clips... little things that walk off. Part of it is that I'm angry at myself for being too accomodating and for not having a better system for keeping track of our stuff. But dammit, these rooms are big and the traffic through here is impossible to monitor. PPhhhthht.

Also, I spent an entire day without a car because I sent it in to have them figure out why the engine mysteriously dies occasionally when I'm accelerating and turning to the right. An hour ago they called me to tell me that they couldn't find the problem, and they can't even get the car to do it. Great.... So I may have to leave it there another day, although I don't know why... and drag my wife out of bed 2 hours before she ordinarily has to get up just to take me to work... oh yeah shes happy about that.

Also, it just occured to me that I have three gigs in two days starting tomorrow, which means that I will have little time for myself this weekend. Hell, why even call it a "week end"?

So yeah, I'm a little bundle of sunshine. I even kicked the kids out of the music rooms after school, just because I didn't feel like listening to people pound "Heart and Soul" on the piano and scream at eachother until they got bored and went home.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck here until my wife can come pick me up. I could use some chocolate.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

...........awkward..........

So yeah... things are wierd between Palpatine and I right now. When I say wierd, what I mean is... if we run into each other on campus, it's like someone running into an ex at a restaurant after a nasty divorce. Civil but veeeeerrrrrrryyyyy cautious. In a strange way, it feels like an improvement.... She's being careful around me! At least I'm comfortable going up to get my own mail again.

Still, I have to be a careful. There are students, parents and even alumn who are poised to come running in with pitchforks and torches. Some people seem to be under the impression that Palpatine wants to reduce or cut the department. That's not true. Palpy wants to see a big department, in fact she wants to help me recruit (I could be wrong, but she seems genuine enough in that corner). What we don't see eye to eye on is the direction that the department should take:

I want a music conservatory that has the potential to generate serious musicians with future careers in music.

She wants a P.R. machine for the school, and a program specifically aimed at the "middle" population of not-so-high achieving students.

Yeah... things are getting wierd. But I have to admit, I'm still better off than I was at *MY LAST SCHOOL* Partially because I have a great wife to come home to. Mostly because I still see daily evidence of how awesome this school is.

Today I felt the need to pull out something in orchestra.... something new to read... something not Baroque. I found myself reaching into the back of the music cabinet and finding an arrangement of the Star Wars Overture that we haven't played since 99.

Twenty minutes later, we're reading through it.... while I've got half the lights dimmed and I'm trying to "conduct" with the replica light saber that I keep in my office. Heh.... I need stuff like this.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

CAT6 - The Musical

So, we just got through our yearly barrage of standardized tests. Our administration has been telling us to pump up the kids to shoot for the highest scores in the county.... Heh...

Teacher: Please remove all personal items from your testing area. Be sure to have a #2 pencil…..

Student: This blows! Why do we have to take this test?

Teacher: why? WHY?

[Suddenly, the overhead florescents go black and spot lights swirl in circular patterns until they converge on the teacher who has magically changed into a tuxedo, sporting a top hat and cane.]

[Unseen jazz orchestra kicks in to an opening shout chorus.]

[Teacher starts dancing ala Fred Astair]

Testiiiiiiiiiing!

Staaaaandardized Testiiiiiiiiiing!

And we’re requestiiiiiiing….. that you be investiiiing …. all the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

OOOoooooooh I’m not jestiiiiing! Don’t let your braaaaaaaaaaaain be restiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

We’ve other school’s scores to be bestiiiiing with our testiiiiiiing todaaaaaaaaay!

Break it down for me girls!

[Wall rolls away revealing a tiered stage… a grand stairway adorned with rows of dancing girls in sequined costumes. They break into a classic Busby Berkeley tap routine, complete with overhead kaliedescopic pattern]

[The orchestra modulates up a half step as the teacher comes back in]

OOOOOhhhhhOOOHHHHH!!!!! I SAID TESTIIIIIIIIIIIING!

DON’T YOU KNOW THE SCHOOL IS QUESTIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

TO BE NUMBER ONE IN THE WEST-IIIIIIIIIING!

SO GRAB THAT KNOWLEDGE YOUR MIND IS NESTIIIIIIIIIING!

NO PROTESIIIIIIIIIING

‘CUASE WE’RE TEEEEEEEEEEESTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING…………

[Timpani roll]

TOOOOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

[Fade to black]

[Florescent lights come back on. The room is back to normal.]

Teacher: Are there any questions?