Winter Break

For the first time in my career as a teacher - I have completely blown off work over Winter Break. I mean, I've gone into heavy relax mode before - but this time I haven't been to my office once, nor even checked my e-mail. Of course, living with an infant and having moved into a house that is over twice the distance from school has something to do with that... But it's more than just visiting my classroom or e-mail. My work life seems like a distant dream.

Huh? I have a job? Oh yeah, I do! Umm... Monday... right....

Until then I'm going to continue to spend my days napping on the recliner with my baby son bundled up in a blanket, asleep on my chest.

*sigh*

At The Closing of the Year

If I cannot bring you comfort
then at least I bring you hope
for nothing is more precious
than the time we have and so
we all must learn from small misfortune
count the blessings that are real
let the bells ring out for

at the closing of the year Christmas
let the bells ring out for Christmas

at the closing of the year

Last night was the last caroling engagement for my advanced choir. 40 kids on a crowded little So. Cal island community. The one person whose absence weighed on me was one of my senior sopranos - she had been out for all of the winter season for health reasons (and when I say "health reasons" I mean a combination of pneumonia and concern over possible heart condition) She kept e-mailing me and apologizing for missing so many events, including the winter concert. I kept telling her that she needs to take care of herself, and not worry about us so much.

At the same time, I also know that it killed her not to be able to perform with us. Caroling is half the reason these kids are in the advanced choir to begin with. And this particular kid - a good Christian girl with an off-the-scale level of congeniality, sympathy and compassion... well, it was a severe disappointment not to be there with us.

That's why I decided that if she could not help us bring holiday cheer to the masses, we'd have to bring some to her.

I called her parents and asked if it was okay that we came by the house on our way down to the island and drop off a few goodies. They gave us the thumbs up, so we assembled about a third of the group outside her house, and surprised her with a chorus of "O Come All Ye Faithful" - a bouquet of flowers, a couple of gift cards, and a little something from Build-A-Bear. We just about put her in tears.

If we sang no where else this year, this one tiny performance would have been enough.

Happy Holidays, everyone.

Adventures in Caroling.

* It's becoming painfully obvious that my "advanced" choir is in a rebuilding year. It's not that I don't have talent, it's that I have an underabundance of leaders. The new people are kind of clueless - about having to learn parts (and what that means, exactly), about rehearsal etiquette, about stage professionalism. We were caroling over the weekend at a community event when three of my freshman failed to meet us after a break. Ten minutes into our last set they rejoined us, with slices of pizza and sodas in their hands. We had to have a little talk.

* First gig of the season - caroling down a busy boulevard for the local holiday "walk." Every year we compete with more and more rock band who set up in just about every nook and cranny that can fit more than three people along the busy street. We resorted to going into restaurants and cafe's to sing. One of them asked us to leave because we were making it hard for the servers to get around. Bah Humbug.

* Second gig of the season - singing at a veteran's hospital for people who are sick and/or dying. I forget how powerful this can be. I took my kids through the halls, singing to open doors. Every once in a while I see people propped up in their beds, unable to even turn towards us and watch us walk by. The kids manage to keep going, but I get too choked up to sing after a while.

* Third gig of the season - later that same day, we sang at a holiday party at the local performing arts center for a group of high-powered investors. Despite our decidedly mediocre performance, we were showered with praise and gifts (including a couple bottles of wine for me). The poignancy of the contrast between the lush, pristine setting of this event and that of the hospital just hours earlier was not lost on me.

*

"Dear Mr. Maestro, I'm sorry for not contacting you sooner. My daughter, Miss K will not be able to perform tomorrow at X event. She has an important test coming up, and I don't want her to miss class. Thank you for understanding - Mrs. K"

"Dear Mrs. K. Thank you for e-mailing. Don't worry about it. No problem. In fact, given that Miss K misses over 2/3 of the caroling gigs, we stopped relying on her over a year ago. Happy Holidays to you and yours! - M"

* Four more gigs to go - I wish the kids would discover he benefits of ironing their concert attire in between engagements.

The Burden of Fatherhood

Last week Prince (one of my advanced choir singers) asked me if he could address the class after rehearsal. I figured it would be something inspirational (at least I hoped that it was) so I agreed. With ten minutes to spare I handed the floor to him. Prince proceeded to tell a little of his life story, which was kind of sad (His father abandoned the family when he was still a baby.) But he eventually brought it around to the fact that he found sanctuary in the music department, and was especially appreciative of the advanced choir. It all came to a tearful focus when Prince looked at me and said that I was the closest thing to a father that he had, and that I should give Cameron (my son) all the love that was denied to him as a small child.

I know that every now and then I get that kind of testimonial. It always makes me feel a little uncomfortable, only because I shouldn't have to stand in for someone's absent or neglectful parent. Alas, the world is what it is. At the same time, it's a very powerful and humbling statement - most of us don't choose our father-figures. The ones that do put a great deal of faith and trust in that individual.

Afterwards, I thanked him for the trust. I also said - "I wish I could help you deal with all of your father issues... but you may lay them to rest on your own, if and when you become a father yourself."

That seemed to be an uplifting thought.

Rock On, Dude

Today's exchange with one of my beginning band drummers:

"Umm... Mr. M?"

"Yeah?"

"You know the December concert?"

"Yeah?"

"Well... it's on the 10th"

"I know"

"Ummmm... well I have Metallica tickets."

"....and?"

"...well, is it allright if I go?"

"......You do what you want, but I won't waive your concert participation grade, if that's what you're asking..."

"...but it's Metallica...."

"...is it that important to you?"

"Yes it is."

"Then go to the concert, and accept your lowered grade as your sacrifice in the name of teen angst."

.... (blank stare)....

"Dude... think about it: Blowing off a school event for a rock concert. Heck, they should let you in free for that."

"But... I don't want to lose points."

"Hmmm... tough one, that. Sounds like you have a decision to make."

"Can't you just....."

"No... I can't. Concert participation is part of the class. If I don't hold you to it, then I can't expect the same of anyone who'd rather be at the movies or their best friend's birthday party that night."

"Maybe you should let them."

"No. That's not what band is all about. And I said as much at the beginning of the year - if you weren't willing to do that, then you should not have stayed in the class."

"The counselor didn't say anything about this when she signed me up for band."

"Oh.... I think that's an excellent issue to bring up with her...."

Point, set, match.

November Potourri

* First concert of the year was last Friday. It went pretty well, except for the fact that I had the highest absentee rate... probably ever. Among the MIA was King Drama Flake, who skipped out on the concert but showed up later for the play he is starring in (after I had made special arrangements to have his group perform and get off stage well before the play's call time.) He has been at school this whole week, but has yet to offer any explanation.

* Today I found out that my retro pay is quite a bit more than what I had thought it would be.

* I was nominated for "Teacher of the Year" again. I think I'll go for it. It seems to be a "lucky" year. Who knows.

* Our district revealed plans to demolish the arts facility on our campus and completely rebuild - including a 350 seat auditorium. I'd be getting brand new rooms. I'm torn over this - there's no telling whether or not what I'd get would be better than what I have. Also there's a lot of history in these old rooms. At the same time, it would be nice to have heating and air conditioning that works like it should.

Distractions

Today, 3rd period was delayed 10 minutes while I chased a bird out of the band room. Again.

Staff Underdevelopment

Today was a non-student day devoted to staff development I spent half of it in ant-bias training from the Anti-Defamation League. The other half was spent more productively in intercampus discipline groups. Here's the gist:

* Whoever invented the discuss-in-small-groups-then-write-your-ideas-on-a-big-piece-of-paper model for meetings needs to be dipped in honey and buried up their neck near a mound of fire ants.

* Apparently, I'm not the most bitter person on campus regarding Former-Principal Palpatine. One of my colleagues took the opportunity to get a shot in during a group discussion. He was shooshed quickly (in the name of professionalism, I'm sure). What was more surprising was the person who defended Palpatine.

* I am continually surprised at how vindictive, petty and scheming people can be. And I'm not talking about Palpatine.

* Drama Teacher revealed that the district is planning on building new performing arts facilities at New Republic. I would get new music rooms. This excites me and scares me at the same time. There's a lot of history in the NRHS music rooms, and I'd be sad to see them go. I also fear the incompetence of administrators, architects and engineers who have shown the ability to fall short of meeting musicians needs. I also fear giving up much and getting back little. (smaller office, less storage space). At the same time, it would be nice to have a theater on campus.

Dear Parents

Just a suggestion: If you feel your son or daughter has had a negative experience in my class and you feel the need to communicate with me via e-mail (and by all means... please do!) You may want to open with simple questions or statements and then leave the ball in my court.

For example:

Dear Mr. Maestro - We have noticed that Petunia's grade in your class is currently a B. We don't understand how the grade is broken down, and would like to speak to you about how this can be improved.

Short, sweet and to the point. This, I can deal with.

Here's an example of what not to do:

Dear Mr. Maestro - We have noticed that Petunia's grade in your class is currently a B. This is very alarming to us. Since the first day of school, Petunia has told us how much she loves your class, and how much she looks forward to it. We hear her practicing her clarinet every day, and have been looking into private lessons....

(two paragraphs later)

.... has been her desire to make music since the second grade, when she picked up a recorder for the first time. Since then, every teacher has remarked about how musically inclined she is. We find it hard to believe that someone with her aptitude for music could possibly be penalized for....

(five paragraphs later)

...going back four generations of musicians in our family. In fact, our immigrant parents both insisted that music continue to be a part of the family values and education...

(further down the page... I stopped counting... and reading to be honest)

...unfair treatment of students of Eastern European descent, which our children have suffered continually ever since they were enrolled in this school system. It is frustrating and unfortunate that this society we live in cannot get past such petty....

(until finally)

Please contact us immediately so that we can prevent any further damage to Petunia's academic career.

Sincerely - Pavlo and Nadia Smalki (No... not real names)

Please do not think that I do not appreciate the eloquence (and stamina) it requires to pen such a thorough statement. It's just that I wouldn't want you to feel silly when I respond with:

Dear Pavlo and Nadia,

Thank you for your e-mail. My records indicate that Petunia has not turned in her student contract, found on the back of the syllabus, which (as I stated in the class e-mail in the first week) resulted in an 11% deduction from the September grade. Petunia may still turn in the contract for full credit. You can find a copy of it posted on the school web site.

Thank you for your time.

M.

Good Karma... I Love It!

So here I am with a new boss, a new baby and soon... a new house. All of it is awesome. The only down side is that the baby/house combination is about to send me into abject poverty. My wife anticipated having to borrow more money from family just so that we don't have to sleep on the floor.

Except that now we don't have to.... borrow money or sleep on the floor.

See folks... I'm a simple man. I have very simple creature comforts. I teach because I love teaching. I was never one to count beans, nor even keep track of where I stood on the pay scale. My wife is the finance major... she's the one who monitors that stuff. Well, in the face of mortgage payments and diaper bills, I decided it was time to figure out where I stood on the pay scale. So I called.

I felt like an idiot because... well, who in their right mind doesn't know (or seem to care) what their salary is? But the people at payroll were very nice. They told me. The only problem was, I wasn't as far over on the education columns as I thought. I got my master's degree some time ago and I figured that between that and my credential units, I was easily bumped over to the far-right column where the big bucks were. I was wrong. I was one column short.

What the hell?

Hmmm... well, If I wasn't in the high column, I figured I had to be close. So today I drove over to the district office to talk to the nice people in HR. I just wanted to know how many units I needed to get over into the last column. The nice lady at the front desk pulled my file and thumbed through it. After about 20 seconds of looking at my education/training sheet she said "Ummm... actually, you should be in the last column. I don't know why you aren't" So we went and consulted another clerk, who meticulously went through all of my paperwork and checked off, item by item, all the coursework that I did going back to the mid 90s. When all was said and done, they figured that I'd been on the wrong column since the 2003-2004 school year. I had turned all the paperwork in correctly, it was just never registered in the system.

Their mistake.

Now, another person might have gotten really upset at this point (and honestly, the clerk kept looking at me as if she was expecting me to blow a gasket). But I decided to hold off on a reaction until I asked the important question: "What does this mean for me?" The clerk looked at me, put her fingers together and made the "money" motion. My eyebrows nearly jumped off my face.

Am I pissed? No. Here's what I figure: I basically got by the last six years without it. Had my salary been correctly adjusted way-back-when, I'd probably have nothing to show for it today except a few more toys. But now, with a new child and a new house.... I'm about to be compensated for six years worth of the difference.

The timing couldn't be more perfect.

I've done some good things in this lifetime, but I don't know if any of it merited something like this. I must have been martyred in a previous life.

The Value of Trust

There's an amazing amount of trust that comes with certain things - allowing other people to handle your newborn child for instance. There's a flash in your mind of all the things that can go wrong... but you trust them anyway. It seems absurd... that brief mistrust of people you know well, even family. But it's your baby. And when you get him back in your arms, you feel all the better - for the trust rightfully given.

So it is with leaving your classes in the hands of another teacher for two weeks. I've never been gone that long before. I lined up the best possible sub I could have found, and I still worried. Well, not only is the sub doing a great job, but so are the students. Apparently, everyone is so supportive of my bonding time with my new child, they're all working together to keep the program going (and going well) in my absence. I know,because for a few days, I was checking... e-mails, Facebook, you name it. Then, I stopped checking, and started trusting.

That makes me feel good. That makes me feel loved.

*sigh*

Bat-Shit Crazy

...Okay, I think my school is about to explode in controversy again. This one is even out of the hands of Principal Leto (As it should be. He wasn't here when the trouble started, and he should lie low until it blows over.)

The hubbub over Former-Principal Palpatine just won't die. It would seem that the natural consequence of the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object is that both are eradicated - the teacher who was the center of a very public conflict with Palpatine last year has been put on leave until they can investigate allegations that he may have recently shot his mouth off in the wrong place at the wrong time and in the wrong way. What makes it worse for him is that he announced his predicament on his Facebook status, which was then quoted in local newspapers in short order. More accusations, more statements meant to ignite public outcry. Once again, his students (and former students) and their families stand ready to leap back into the fray. Ugh... it makes me glad I'm out on paternity leave.

One interesting thing... the article in the local press revealed the whereabouts of Former Principal Palpatine, who did not end up in the position that she left New Republic HS for. She apparently accepted a job as a high school admin in a district far away...

The only thing is, it would come as no surprise to me if the torches and pitchforks followed her there as well. A lot of people are still pissed at her, maybe enough to try to get her fired wherever she goes. That's bad mojo if you ask me. I mean, I have no love for the woman (and you all know how I celebrated her departure,) but harboring that kind of hate destroys you on the inside... Let it go, people. Let her go... then we can get back to rebuilding the Republic. And our lives.

Lucky me, I have a new boss, a new house and a new baby to focus on.

Llama of the Week

October Musings

Baby Craze

So, people keep asking me if my wife delivered yet. I keep telling them that if they see me walking around school, then the answer is "no." It doesn't bother me, obviously... everyone is happy for me. But I am a little surprised at the lack of logic. I will say, though, that I am a little taken aback at how excited everyone is over my baby. I mean I know, I know.... people get excited over babies... but it seems as if people are really excited over my baby. People I don't even know are giving us gifts... is that wierd? People are talking about it as if... well as if my having a child somehow makes the universe complete.... the long foretold coming of the Mini-Maestro. I don't know... it's my first kid and I've never been through this before.

Meeting With Principal Leto

So I had my professional evaluation meeting with my new principal. Let me say that again, because I like hearing it: I had my professional evaluation meeting with my new principal. At this point I'd like to point out that I'm not even up for evaluation this year... when I turned in my personal goal form, I asked for a meeting. I also specifically asked that Principal Leto be my evaluator from now on. He's a band guy, it made sense. Furthermore, I recommended that we have the meeting in my office, not his. That's because he's never seen the music rooms, and I wanted to show him the facility. And show him I did.

The part that delighted me the most was when I showed him the storage room behind the music complex where we stored the old library and all the unsused equipment. He took a look at the shelves of music and kind of went into band-geek mode. "You know... when you see the old storage boxes that color... you know you have something special. I bet you have some great stuff here." It warmed my heart that someone else had the ability to recognize the treasure we had hidden away there.

He also saw one of the old marching uniforms - "Jesus Christ! Those things are ugly!" That got a surprised laugh out of me. Then he said "Man, if you get a marching band going, promise me you won't put them in those." Now dear friends, those of you who know me may imagine that this is the point where I realized that my savior was really another devil in disguise... but no. I smiled and nodded. Principal Leto has the ability to utter the "MB" word without lighting my fuse. That's because I'm not worried about what he's plotting behind my back.... because he isn't.

We actually spent some time talking about marching band, and once again he managed to say all the right things. He reassured me that while he believes that a marching band is good for the community, that he strongly believes that it isn't the most important thing in a music program. He also didn't talk about getting one up and running as quickly as possible - he focused on getting more kids in my program in general.

"If you get the kids, the rest of it will happen... and I mean all of it. Not just a marching band, we're talking multiple levels of band, multiple levels of orchestra, multiple levels of jazz."

It's a beautiful vision, and one I hadn't dared to promote at New Republic High School. But the guy has seen big programs in his day... maybe he knows how to make it work here. The only problem with it is that... well, it would require another music teacher which would mean having to give up some of my classes. The most logical thing would be to hire a vocal person to take over the choirs... and giving up my advanced choir would be like chopping of a limb. I don't know that I'm ready for that.

Still, at the moment I'm enjoying the benevolent rule of a wise and compassionate principal.

Long live the Duke!

I am SO Stealing this...

So today I was going over the basics of clef and pitch identification with my choir class. About half way in I started seeing the "theory glaze" cover their eyes. Then right about the time I went over the bass clef pitches, we got a shot in the arm -

I wrote out the names of the line notes on the bass clef staff: G-B-D-F-A, and I was about to give them the mnemonic device to remember them (You music types know the universal one for the treble clef - "Every Good Boy Does Fine"). It was right there on the tip of my tongue - "Grizzly Bears Don't Fly Airplanes" - when the aide for Autistic Billy raised his hand and said "How about 'George Bush Didn't Find Al-Qaeda'?"

It took me a few minutes to recover from laughing.

Mystery!

So there is a thief among us. One who has stolen from me, twice now. It wasn't anything big... lord knows I have a lot of valuable stuff running around my office. Nope, it was a cool little trinkety thing I bought at the end of Summer. I hung it on the wall in front of my desk, along with scores of other trinkety things. Two weeks ago it disappeared. Could have been a theft... but it could have been knocked off the wall and lost when my office was in disarray because of a major furniture relocation.

I griped about it to a few people... then I bought another one and hung it in the same spot. Today, the replacement disappeared.

Okay, now I'm pissed.

I'm guessing that it's the same culprit that took the first one, and probably thinks it's funny. Okay, yeah... maybe I asked for it by replacing the first one. But I couldn't be sure. Now I am.

It's been a long time since a student stole anything from me. The thing that I hate about it the most is how it makes me try to figure out who it is without having any kind of real evidence or detective skills. Worst of all, I start being paranoid about my students... I start suspecting totally innocent kids.

A weird thought hit me today, though - this time I noticed the disappearance after school... after I had run an errand off-campus and then returned to clean up my room a bit. The rooms were locked... so I don't know who could have gotten in unless.... did the maintenance guy snake my trinkets? It sounds absurd, but the truth is that the first one disappeared right after a maintenance crew replaced my broken desk.

Unlikely? Maybe... or maybe the butler did it!

In the mean time, I'm keeping my doors locked and my eyes open.

Frustrations and Surprises

Frustration: I e-mailed a couple of parents about gum-chewing today. Gum-chewing. I don't know... maybe you better organized teacher types send off referrals and fire off phone messages for that sort of thing on a regular basis.... but I never bothered with it. I figure, if I'm going to contact a parent - there's got to be a fairly substantial behavior or performance issue. Nope... gum-chewing. I even talked to a counselor about it. Why? Because I had directed these two girls, both of whom are returning students... to throw out their gum on a daily basis since the first day of school. I've talked to both of them individually - one of them yesterday. Today we played the game of "I'm going to hide my chewing from you." Fuck that. I refuse to spend my class time totally distracted by the process of trying to catch these girls in the act. Technically, it's defiance... albeit a really lame form of defiance, and I feel stupid making this much fuss over it. Phhhh.

Surprise: So, I have this mostly 7th-grade beginning band class that I've basically yelled at almost every day since the beginning of school. I don't hate them, but they constantly do stuff that I have to react to. So I yell a lot. There are a few that I'm going to try to have removed... but that's another blog. Anyway - we're about a month into the school year, and I figured that they all think I'm a big grouch.

Well, today I got the call that my wife was being sent to the maternity ward at beautiful Ocean View Hospital. I immediately called the front office and told them that I was leaving, and that I needed coverage. I quickly told my class where I was going, and why... and they got really excited for me. One kid even hugged me (and I'm pretty sure it was the kid I yelled "shut up" to yesterday)

Go figure.

Well, it turns out that my wife wasn't going into labor. When she went to her exam, the Ob/Gyn noticed that the baby's heart beat was slowing. Fearing a situation where he might have had to do a C-section, he immediately sent her to be monitored, and told her to call me. By the time I got to the hospital, the baby's heart rate had recovered, and everything looked good. They let us go.

I guess we'll see how they react when I come back to class tomorrow :-)

Llama of the Week

September Potpourri

* Last night's football grudge-match with Cross-Town Rival School - We lost, but I found a $100 bill on the ground. That's way cooler.

* Autistic Billy is back in choir. He had a meltdown this morning. The aide shuffled him out of the room quickly. We could still hear him screaming in the courtyard.

* A different kid in choir was tearing up the sheet music into tiny bits and eating it. Yeah.

* I've been asked to be the adviser for the newly formed "Super Hero Appreciation Club" Gee, I wonder why they asked me.

* I broke down and bought a couple 30 gallon trash cans for my classrooms. I used to just steal some from the courtyard, but the maintenance guys were getting stinky about it - "Those are the outdoor bins!" Okay, whatever. So I bought my own and marked them "NRHS MUSIC." The guy who cleans my room saw them and immediately became my best friend on campus.

* Air conditioning report - for the first time ever, both rooms work perfectly. (I shouldn't have said anything, I probably just jinxed it.) Apparently, my units are of high interest to the district AC repair guy (with whom I am on a first-name basis.) Watching him try to isolate the problem(s) is like watching an episode of House.

Go Big Blue!

First home football game is in the can. Everything went well. In fact, it was the best season start in recent memory. We had about double the amount of band kids than I had last year. So many, that I decided to order a bus. (Usually I just have the kids meet us there.)

There's a curious thing that happens at least once a year: At some point some football parent comes up to me and says "Wow, it's so wonderful to finally have the band at the games."

Ummm...

Okay folks, I've been at New Republic High School for eleven years now... there's never been a year where I didn't take the band to at least four home games. In fact, the only home games that I've missed in recent times were due to the fact that Former Principal Palpatine crippled me at the beginning of the year by enrolling totally inexperienced kids in my intermediate/advanced band class and expected me to have them ready to perform in less than a week.

So, is it selective memory? Alzheimer's? Seriously... I mean I know I'm famous for loathing marching band, but is there some stigma that resets people's grey matter ala Total Recall to the point where they don't ever remember hearing the band at the games before?

Good thing I'm a patient man. I know how to smile and nod.

The Problem of Attracting (And Keeping) Talent

I may have commented on this before: I always cringe a little bit when I get an older transfer student - especially an instrumentalist who came from a big school program. I say this because when they walk int he door of my classroom for the first time, they see a remedial group mixed with middle school kids, and I'm always afraid that they are going to go scrambling to their counselor to move them out of band/orchestra as quickly as possible. Sometimes they do.

Now, my problem is obvious... when my better players jump ship, it makes it much harder to recruit other talented students. I mean, I understand that it must be frustrating for a kid to sit in a class where almost everyone is younger and less capable a musician. Heck, I don't know if I'd want to tolerate that myself. At the same time, I can't help but feel abandoned.

I usually don't fault the kids for leaving if they do... I let it be their choice. Once in a while, one of them shows up in my office asking me to sign their paperwork for the state honor groups. The problem is - in order to audition for the state honor groups, they have to be enrolled in their school programs. (That's how the honor groups support the schools, who in turn send their best players.) I've had a couple of people get upset that I wouldn't just sign the paper... but them's breaks.

Now where the transfers are concerned... I have to remind myself that I can not expect loyalty out of a kid I just met. Every once in a while I get it, but I can't expect it. I do much better to focus on the kids that I recruited young - build them up, hope they get caught up in the passion to play well, and turn themselves into good players. Those are the ones that are far more likely to selflessly give back to the program. I've had a fair share of those.

I still have the problem that my better players tend to drop out of my band and orchestra altogether (usually before their junior year). Some of them try to get into my jazz class, which is a 0 period. That allows them to stay in music, but frees up a period for other classes. I also get the occasional senior who admits that the only reason they didn't want to be in the class was that they wanted to work out a schedule that let them go home at lunch.

That's the one that hurts... I mean, I like to think that despite the fact that my groups aren't the most advanced you'll find, I do manage to give them a meaningful experience. Apparently, not so meaningful that it doesn't hold a candle to being able to go hit the mall at 1 p.m. on a weekday - or be asleep in front of the TV by the time everyone else here's the last bell ring.

Whatever.

I happen to know that right now, there are at least ten capable string players walking around New Republic High School that aren't in orchestra. Some of them are caught up in the craze of building the "perfect college resume." One of them decided to switch to visual arts because that's what she wants to do for a career (can't fault her there.) A few are rumored to be avoiding me because they think themselves above the school program.

Whatever.

You know what the funny thing is... not so long ago, everyone was afraid that I wouldn't stay at NRHS. One year, one of the 7th graders looked at me and said "Mr. Maestro, promise me you won't leave until I graduate." I shrugged. Turns out that kid transferred to one of the other schools in the district before he was out of high school - someplace that was less academically competitive, where he could rank higher in his graduating class.

I know, I know... we're here for the kids, not the other way around. It just sucks, that's all... especially when there are schools within a 15 minute drive that have flourishing band and orchestra programs.

Llama of the Week

You know you missed it.

First Day

So... last night my wife looks at me and says:

"Ummmmm... you're working tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah"

"First day with kids?"

"Uh huh."

"......" (odd look)

"What?"

"You're usually a ball of nerves... why are you so relaxed?"

"Because I'm not worried about who's looking over my shoulder."

"It makes that much of a difference?"

"What do you think?"

"I think that had I known it would have calmed you down this much, I would have gone down there with a stick and beaten Principal Palpatine out of her office myself years ago."

"Calm down dear... you're pregnant."

".... yeah? well, get him a little stick. He can help me."

"Too late she's gone"

"Doesn't matter"

Did I mention how much I love my wife?

Anyway, the first day went well. The usual crises kicked in. Kids crying over their schedules, begging to go see their counselors. Me crying over kids on my roster and begging them to go see their counselors (well... I was on the inside.) It didn't matter though... it was a brand new day, and I was whistling on my way down the hall. I went up to the admin office three times. Three times! The last two were just to see if it felt as good as the first time.

Only one thing made me a little sad: A few pumpkins decided to bail out of my advanced choir. Scheduling conflicts. The mother of one sent me an e-mail just this afternoon:

Mr Maestro,

We're sorry to tell you that Karen will not be able to be in Chamber Singers this year. There is a scheduling conflict with her sibling, and we can't get her there for the 0 period rehearsal. We hope you understand.

Hmmm... well, what I understand is that Karen has been trying to get into Chamber Singers since her 9th grade year. Two years ago she made it, but circumstances wouldn't permit her to join. Well, she kind of made it. Her audition was marginal, but I decided that she was so determined, I wanted to see how hard she'd work if she made it in.

It looks like I'll never know. Karen graduates this year. I hope she gets a chance to shine someday. If it ever fits into her family's schedule, that is.

New (School) Year's Resolution

S0 on the eve of the 2009-2010 school year (for which I have generated much enthusiasm), I make this promise to myself, my students, their families and my colleagues:

1) Be a better music teacher - Get back to basics. Focus on skills, not just preparing for the next concert. Include regular playing /singing tests. Get on top of attendance.

2) Be a better conductor - perform regular self-evaluations through video-captured rehearsals. More score study. Fix time problems. Fix posture and movement problems. Get my goddam head out of the goddam score!

3) Be a better planner / communicator. Call club meetings on a regular basis. Return phone calls. Return e-mails. Start pre-event tasks at least 2 weeks prior to the date.

I know that it's all well and good to make promises, especially the year in which my first child is due to arrive. I remember when I was doing my Masters: I was so busy I was forced to organize my life that much more. I was a better teacher then. I'm hoping that the little one will produce the same side-effect.

Growing Pains

So, here's what I've figured out about Principal Leto: Not only was he a band teacher - he was a good one. It wasn't the way he announced in front of the faculty that he once had a nationally competing band and orchestra program (not meant to intimidate me, I'm sure... he was drawing an analogy of the panic that sets in after realizing that you've succeeded in reaching a goal and becoming burdened with the task of improving on it.) It was the side conversations where we briefly got into the thick of band-speak: repertoire, instruments... all that good stuff. And let me tell you - any man who's lead a high school band through Lincolnshire Posy deserves a good deal of respect.

What does it mean for me? It means I'm going to be working my ass off. For ten years I've worked under people who didn't know my discipline - that allowed me be lazy about a lot of things. Now, with Leto at the reigns, I'm feeling pressure to clean up my act a little bit. Or a lot. Not to say that I've been completely slacking for ten years, oh no... I've done lots and lots of stuff that I'm proud of. But there are things that I've always let slide a little (or a lot) that I'm sure another music teacher would pick up on.

Now folks, here's the important thing to keep in mind - Leto hasn't even so much as step foot in my classroom yet. He hasn't asked me for a syllabus, he doesn't know a thing about my daily M.O. In fact I fully expect him to be totally hands-off. He probably wouldn't suggest changes unless something blatantly called for it - like an abundance of student/parent complaints. (Which I do not generate.) No... he hasn't even seen my program yet, but the fact that he is (or was) a music teacher worthy of respect makes me want to earn his respect through a well-run program.

That means I'm going to work harder as a teacher... way harder than anything I would have done for Palpatine. And he didn't even have to ask for it.

When the Greater Evil Succumbs

... the smaller evil rises to take it's place. So, tonight I get an e-mail from the cheer advisor summoning me to a meeting with our dance teacher and Principal Leto this Friday. Something about "ideas about how to increase school spirit at football games."

Now... I consider Cheer Advisor to be a friend, and I think she's tried (in the past) to be sensitive to my issue with Principal Palpatine. The problem is, I don't think she's ever fully understood my issue with P. To be sure, she doesn't understand how band works. I know this because she recently handed me a CD that contained a recording of a tune that happens to be a different arrangement of a pep song that we regularly play, with the expectation that we would change what we play to fit her girls' dance. It's becoming apparent to me that she shares a critical trait P: She has no concept of band outside of football games or pep rallies. I don't fault her for that, but it does make it difficult to find common ground.

I am not going to gear up for a border skirmish... but I think I will have to stand my ground in a couple of areas: I won't have our repertoire, or our operations dictated to us. I told P to her face that I worked for the kids, not for her. (and act that I hope never to have to repeat with another principal.) I certainly feel far less obliged to Cheer Advisor in that respect. At the same time, I have to be careful not to appear as anything but a "team player." Leto may be a band guy at heart, but I fully expect him to be a principal first. I think the best thing is to listen to her ideas, and then give input on if/how we can accommodate them.

(Edit)

Had the meeting. Turns out Cheer Advisor wasn't trying to push anything on my band: The reason why she wanted the meeting was to protect her middle school girls from being burned out by the expectation to perform at the high school events. I feel bad for not trusting her.

Leap of Faith

So, yesterday I went by the school late. Like 5 p.m. I was supposed to be there much earlier, but I got stuck waiting for the carpet cleaners to come detox my apartment. I needed to get to my mailbox because I was expecting a package, and didn't want to wait until monday (I'm impatient like that.) Pulling into the front lot, I could see that there were only two vehicles parked, and one of them was the school van. I wasn't expecting to be able to get into the admin building.

I parked and walked to the front door. Yup... locked up like a safe... but the lights were on, which meant there was a chance that some workaholic might still be inside. Just so happens I was right - MS Principal Gus saw me pull up from his office window and came out to open the door for me. We were a little surprised to see each other.

But Gus wasn't just being nice, he actually wanted to talk to me. Apparently I have, one again, been given a roster that is 30 bodies over the union limit of 180. That means that before the school years starts I have to either sign a waver that legitimizes my student count, or they have to lighten my load by moving kids out of my classes. Gus just wanted to know whether or not I'd sign the waiver.

Now friends, let me tell you that the same issue came up last year. My problem wasn't that I had too many students... my problem was that Principal Palpatine had instructed the counselors to cram 40+ rank beginners into a band class, mixed with intermediate and advanced players. She didn't bother to check whether or not I had enough instruments to distribute. I didn't.

A year ago I had a choice to refuse the waiver. I didn't take it because I knew that while I would have put the administration in a position of having to lighten my roster, they were under no obligation to move the students out of particular classes. I knew well that the last thing Palpatine would have done was take kids out of band... she was more likely to kill my AP Theory or Orchestra class first. So I just tolerated it, and made it work. Barely.

Flash forward to this year. Before Summer, I had worked out a plan with Palpatine to drop the theory class and reinstate a beginning instruments class. I liked teaching theory, but the truth was that I knew the enrollment was never big... not to mention the fact that as long a Palpatine insisted on drafting middle schoolers into band, I'd need a separate class for the beginners. Besides, theory is labor intensive, and this year I need to simplify my life as much as possible.

The problem is that even though Palpatine is gone, she still managed to convince the counselors that band has no upper enrollment limit. So where last years single band class had over seventy kids enrolled, this years combined classes have over a hundred. Once again, I am put in the predicament of having too many bodies, not enough instruments.

So the dilemma facing me is this: My easy way out is to decline the waiver. Now that Palpatine has been replaced by an arts-friendly principal, my chances of being able to manage the exodus favorably. *However* By declining the waiver I will be forcing, rather than negotiating a change favorable to my position. That kind of thing has a way of rubbing people the wrong way. Besides, it may very well be that even without the extra bodies - I'll still have a need to exceed the enrollment cap. By insisting that they hold to the contract, I may be forced to deny a talented student from joining our ranks somewhere in the middle of the year.

I am inclined to sign the waiver, and trust that the new administration will work with me, rather than work me over. The only thing that makes me nervous is the fact that the counselors are already facing the problem of overcrowded classes in other areas, and an elective class is probably the bottom of their priorities. While I am not anywhere near as distrusting of them as I was Palpatine, I'm not entirely confident that they will be able to do much.

The Future's So Bright, I Have To Wear Shades

So today I had the council kids show up, and they helped put the music rooms back together after the stellar floor polishing/carpet scrubbing job that the maintenance guys did in my rooms. I have shiny floors again. Even in my office. This makes me happy.

We hadn't seen hide nor hair of the new principal since the announcement of his selection. I was told that he was spending time helping his former school get up and running for the new year... not to mention the fact that the new-and-improved administrative team had a retreat of their own for the last couple days. That's why I was surprised as hell when I found him sitting at his desk when I went into the front office near closing time today.

I introduced myself. He smiled and said "Well.. tell me about your program." I gave him the Readers Digest version. (I did manage to mention that there was no marching program.) Afterwords, he smiled again and said "Well, you just tell me what you need. I'm all about building arts programs." It was short and sweet, but it was enough. He definitely has a good aura. Calm, friendly, approachable. It was soothing just to talk to him.

Score.

So now, dear readers, it comes down to a matter of giving our new boss a nickname for the blog. I know it may be premature, but the obvious choice seems to be "Principal Skywalker."
I will say, however, that my reaction to him reminded me of a vignette from a different franchise altogether:

Those of you who have read Frank Herbert's Dune may remember that when the Galactic Emperor shifted control of the all-important spice production on the desert planet Arakis from the cruel Harkonnen family to the noble Atreides family, the indigenous Fremen population, (having been abused by the Harkonnen) took some time figuring out whether or not to trust the new Duke and his family. One day, Liet Kynes, one of the most important Fremen leaders, watched on as Duke Leto Atreides sacrificed a priceless cargo of spice in order to save the lives of the men harvesting it. Kynes thinks to himself: "This Duke is more concerned over his men than the spice! I must admit, against all better judgement, I like this Duke."

It's not a perfect fit, and New Guy still has yet to proove himself, but I can not deny that I want to believe in him, the way I wanted to believe in Obama after eight years of Bush.

Principal Leto Atreides? (or for you Dune fans... Muad'Dib?... or is that a being a little too... cultish?)

The Rock Around Which The River Flows

So, last weekend I took my umpteenth group of students on the annual NRHS Music Dept. Leadership Retreat. 7 kids, two adults (including myself) one semi-cramped cabin in the mountains. You may remember that on last year's excursion, I got horribly sick. Fortunately, no such malady ruined this years trip for me, although I did manage to stretch something in my leg, leaving me with a semi-limp for a couple of days.

The retreat went smoothly. This year we managed to spend more time in "bonding activities" than in meetings, but that may have been a good thing. One of the students recently had some kind of knee surgery, which eliminated the traditional three-hour hike up a stream bed to a pile of rocks we like to call "Devil's Pile." Instead, we spent some time at a local water slide n' mini-golf place. Everyone had a blast.

On the second night, I taught the group to play Robo Rally - a board game that requires that the player manage a complicated movement system while simultaneously trying to do as much damage to their opponents as possible. Oddly enough, the clear winner of the evening was the quiet, shy uber-Christian girl who managed to reach all the checkpoints, deal my robot enough laser beam damage to force a repair shut-down, and push her co-president's robot in to a bottomless pit of death. Twice. My favorite part of the game came when miss Lisa looked at me with her big blue Disney eyes and said in an innocent-but-eerie tone "Mr. M.... I think I'm about to kill you." It was a wonderful Stephen King moment. Creeped out everyone at the table.

Every year I do the retreat I become more and more aware that the venue remains the same, but the faces change. I looked at the dinner table and flashed back to councils past - going all the way back to my first year at New Republic. I realized the extent to which I have become not just a teacher, but an institution - a process that students go through as they progress through their middle school and high school careers. I suddenly foresaw myself years from now, welcoming children of former students into my classroom - proud parents who want me to give the same gifts to the next generation, and the next.

It all felt very "Harry Potter."

In the hallway outside my classrooms hangs a plaque dedicated to a man who held down the Old Republic instrumental music program for thirty years. I hope at the end of my career that I will have earned my own plaque there... maybe at Rocky Pines as well. I think I'm on my way. It just seems funny that my road to that is paved with things like games of Robo Rally.

The Last Letter

Dear Former Principal Palpatine,

As the 2009-2010 School year approaches, I decided to write this last address to you which, sadly, will never cross your eyes. I had hoped that in our last meeting you would have realized the severity of my lack of trust and loyalty towards you. Alas, I understand that you have an uncanny ability to ignore anything that doesn't play to your advantage. Had I known that it would be our last interaction... ohh the things I would have said. Then again, you never listened... and you certainly can't be expected to remember. In the future, you will probably only recall me as the pesky band teacher who refused to play to your tune.

You probably knew that my name was high on a list of people that wanted you gone. When you finally announced your resignation, the number of people who approached me, expecting me to join in hearty chorus of "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" (I'm not kidding... they're using that song.) was even more than I had expected. But see... I'm not a witch-burner. Anger and contempt are somewhat foreign to me. They eat at my psyche and steal energy from my endeavors that require compassion. They rob me of my ability to be playful, optimistic and imaginative.

So when I am put in a situation where I am forced to deal with those emotions, I obsess over the source. That's what happened at CowTown High School... and the fact that you inspired those things here... at the school that healed and nurtured me after the living hell that CowTown was... you have no idea how much that made me resent you, and thus resent myself for letting you have that much control over me.

I've been trying to process your presence in my life ever since I started this blog. I now hope to try to bring that process to a close by compiling a few lists of things that I need to express about you... lists that I tried to make concise and as cleanly defined for my own sake (besides, bullet points are the only way to get you to absorb anything.)

Were I the person writing your professional evaluation, these are the items that I would be sure to include:

* You not only support a culture that defines personal value as a number, you celebrate it.

* You truly believe that the end justifies the means: lying, bullying and unfairly stacking the odds in your favor.

* You treat everyone you meet in accordance with how they can help you towards your personal goals.

* You have no understanding of, nor any real appreciation for the arts.

Things that I will never forgive you for:

* You tried to use me and my students to meet the wants of people who are not enrolled in the music program, nor have any children enrolled.

* You tried to enforce your vision of the music program, one that not only dictated our purpose in the school, but also identified the kind of student that we should recruit.... based on academic scores.

* You used intimidation tactics on me on behalf of your favorite student.

* You suggested that I had no passion for my discipline..... how fucking dare you!

Things that I should actually thank you for:

* I will never again blindly trust my supervisors.

* I now know that I have the ability to stand up to people like you.

* Through you I was forced to define the things that I needed to defend, thus bringin me to a clearer focus of who I am.

* Through you, I learned a lot about how school beuracracies work, and how best to maeuver myself for survival.

* Through common adversity I developed stronger bonds with my fellow faculty.

Things that your resignation brings to my life:

* I can feel comfortable walking through the front office again.

* I am free to develop a healthy relationship with athletics on my own terms.

* I am relieved to know that when my son arrives, he will not meet a father plagued by worry and self-doubt.

A colleague once warned me about what I posted online... even here on my "anonymous" blog, lest the administration actually discover it. I almost wish that you had. From here on out, I may still have a few things to say about you here.... but I have nothing more to say to you. Our time is done. We are quits.

Maestro

Music Director, New Republic High School

Survivor.

Whatever You Say, Dear....

Okay, my wife thinks that my little Meez (tm) dude on the right there looks African American. I wouldn't have a problem with it, except I'm not African American, and I happen to think that the guy looks pretty generic Caucasian. She insists... she says it isn't so much a skin thing, but a face shape/eyebrow thing. She says "anyone would think so"

So I put it to you, dear readers is my little digital portrait a) an Undercover Brother or b) Pretty Fly for a White Guy? Of course, I'm not really Caucasian either... not entirely. I'm about half Pacific Islander. Kind of. Well, it's an Island in the... okay whatever... just tell me what you think because I believe there's a back-rub riding on it. (we made a bet)

UPDATE

The district announced the new principal for Empire High School. My informant was correct, the new guy is a former band teacher.

Now, this could be a double-edged sword: First of all, there are a lot of band guys who LIVE to do marching band. If he was one of those, then it is inevitable that we will have a meeting.... soon.... to discuss the blatant lack of marching at EHS. Even if he doesn't live for marching band, I'm sure the same forces that bent Palpatine's ear over the matter will find their way to him as well.

*However*

A real band guy will recognize the extreme disadvantage that a 7-12 vocal/instrumental program has in trying to develop a marching band. And when I stress the no feeder part, I trust that I really shouldn't have to explain myself beyond that. This isn't to say that he won't ask, or even try to push me in the direction of marching... but if that happens I'm trusting that he won't try to force results through uninformed, idiotic and/or abusive methods the way Palpatine did.

I'm also guessing that he will show up to concerts... at least a few. Heh, I'm not used to having admin show up who can tell when the 2nd clarinets are out of tune... It'll be fun.

Keeping Up On The Gossip

So... obviously our school is a little preoccupied with trying to figure out who Principal Palpatine's replacement is going to be. I've talked to a lot of people. I heard a lot of stuff... some of it conflicting.

I had always heard that the principalship of Empire High was a tough spot to fill. We have financially, socially and politically powerful parents. We have a strong-willed, aggressive faculty. We have the immense pressure of upholding the reputation of a nationally ranked academic program. It's always been a powder keg, and Palpatine did nothing but intensify the mixture with her own brand of self-serving nitroglycerin.

I thought we were in for a long, difficult process. What I neglected was the fact that the current state of affairs in California has recently put a lot of ed people on the market for a new job - people who are suddenly far less picky than they would have been a year ago.

We got something like 80 applications, or so "they" say.

I heard a lot of back and forth about who the final line up was... and even some about who the lucky winner might have been. If that information is correct, it will have.... interesting implications for me. More on that later.

The most interesting gossip was this... Palpatine was *supposedly* fired from ner new job before she even started it. Furthermore, she *supposedly* came crawling back to our district asking for her old job back. Something about *supposed* anti-Palpatine letters that made their way to the upper brass of her new institution. Is it true? God, who knows. It sounds like wishful thinking on behalf of the source... an individual whose issues with Palpatine make mine look like an argument over pizza toppings. I've heard some wild ones come out of that one before.

I did a Google search. Nothing. Of course, I'm starting to understand that school districts never publicize when they fire someone, only when someone leaves under a mutual understanding. Funny... Palpatine had a way of proclaiming "mutual understandings" when there was none. Was she forced to swallow one herself? Maybe. To be sure: her supposed new employer hasn't posted anything on their web site announcing her arrival. Yet.

Here's a better question: Do I WANT it to be true? If for no other reason but good Karma, I am remaining decidedly neutral on this, curious as I may be. I know people who have stated that they would like nothing better than to bask in the warmth of her smoldering career. I just want her to stay out of my life.

I don't want to see Palpatine "punished", I want her to take ownership of the hurt she's caused. Unfortunately, there's no way to force that on someone - they have to have some kind of an epiphany and look in the mirror and see the person others see them as. In her case it may not happen until well after she's retired - when she looks back on a career built with deception and intimidation, and realizes that none of her accolades brought her any more respect, admiration... certainly not love. By then it will be too late.

Shit, I think that's worse than losing your job.

Wacky Teacher Speak

So, I've concluded that one of the elements in keeping my students interested in what I have to say is through the constant development of idiosyncrasies that they find amusing. I've known some teachers who swear (and a few with mouths like sailors). I don't know, high school coaches seem to get away with it, but it seems risky and it definitely isn't my style (most of the time, it lacks imagination.) In fact, I don't wear much in my regular life... I don't really feel the need to swear in front of my students. Much.

To this end, I've developed a few of my own "Maestro-isms" that seem to work.

Evil Minions - I've taken to referring to my classes in general as "my evil minions." This is an obvious nod to classic comic book villains who, curiously enough, acknowledge their own evil nature. The kids seem mildly amused by this. This can manifest in a number of ways:

"Listen to me now, my evil minions..."

"Come my evil minions, it is time for the C Concert scale... and then we shall complete the Death Ray"

Comic Book Exclamations - This is actually a page taken out of the likes of Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and their ilk . Whether or not the kids recognize them, these have been around for decades.

"Great Caesar's Ghost!"

"It's Clobberin' Time!"

"I'm just your Friendly Neighboorhood *Music Teacher*"

"Wagon Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain Ho!" - Useful for putting a large number of bodies on the move. You need a big, deep, loud voice to pull this one off.

Movie Quotes
This is a well that can never run dry. The creative part is linking the correct phrase with the right situation. Here are my favorites -

"That's no moon, it's a space station!"

"It's more of a guideline." (Needs a pirate accent)

"You know Vizini, you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means" (Needs Spanish accent)

"You do not know pain, you do not know fear... you will taste MANFLESH" (Saruman's inspirational speech from The Two Towers. Works great just before a concert or a competition.)

"..... the problems of one little music teacher don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world"

and on that note -

"Of all the classrooms in all the schools in all the world... you had to walk into mine"

One of my favorite movie quotes is Bill Murray's "Mother Puss-Bucket!" from Ghostbusters, but I stopped using it when a 7th grader heard me say it and instinctively followed up with "Yeah, Mutherf***er!"

Channeling Elvis - Actually, it doesn't have to be Elvis. It can be anyone... just put on your favorite accent and go. You get wonderfully confused looks when you pull it out at random.
My favorites (besides Elvis):

Jack Nicholson (clean version)

Mitch Hedberg (clean version)

Boris (from Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Bullwinkle (From Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Rocky (the boxer, not from Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Yoda (The class favorite)

More as I am inspired...

Scenes from Rocky Pines Music Camp

Well, I'm not quite the shutterbug that Magical Mystical Teacher or Lantis Lani is, but here are a few photos I took with my D90.

AFTERMATH

So... it's been a few weeks since news of Principal Palpatine's departure, and aside from the initial uncontrollable outburst of joy, my overriding reaction has been to let everything just slide all to hell. I haven't done one stitch of preparation for school. I've barely even thought about it. Now, with a good chunk of August still laying ahead of me, you'd think that wouldn't be so bad... but there's a lot to do, and some things had to be put in motion... well, yesterday. No... two weeks ago.

I'm supposed to be taking kids on a retreat in less than a week. I did do the initial paperwork, but... umm... cabin rental... van rental.... yeah. And then there's the drum line "camp" we're supposed to be running at the end of the month. I haven't even announced it yet. I wish I could blame it on scrambling to prepare for the new baby... and trying to find a house to live in. But the truth is, I'm just giving myself a lot of space... Maybe I'm just making excuses.

One thing is for sure: If September comes and I hit the ground with my feet at a stand still... it sure as hell isn't going to be Palpatine's fault. So, come Monday I'm going to have to kick ass and take names.

One disturbing thing reared it's head this week - I managed to go by the school to check my mail, and Gus the middle school principal caught me and pulled me into his office. He wanted to confirm things that Palpatine and I argued over agreed on before she was tossed into the Death Star reactor core moved on. A lot of it was logistics.... stuff about classes and scheduling. No big deal (Side note: Palpatine actually tried to set up a separate marching band class, thinking that if she arranged for someone else to teach it, I wouldn't try to block it. The problem is, she was going to put beginners in it. I had a hard time trying to convince her it wouldn't work. I don't think I ever got that point across.)

But what eventually emerged in that conversation with Gus was a discussion about how many athletic events I should plan on attending with some kind of musical support. I told him I was prepared to do exactly that which I agreed with Palpatine: I'd do all the home varsity football games, plus any CIF playoffs. Anything beyond that is subject to our availability.

That's the point where Gus brought up my stipends. He was a lot nicer about it than Palpatine was, but he brought them up all the same. If you haven't been following my blog, you need to know that there was a meeting back in December in which the administration figured out that the only thing they could shove in my face in terms of contractual obligation was a $10,000 stipend that "seemed to imply" that athletic events were a part of my job description. (In truth, the wording is vague. Nice try, though)

I was severely annoyed that the will of Palpatine was lingering in my life through this issue, but I did sense one advantage: Gus isn't even close to being the unstoppable force that Palpatine was. Neither is AP Bob, who was appointed to be my stpiend monitor. I also think that neither of them lack the requisit amount of moral fiber to push something like this through on lies and stretched truths.

Still...

I didn't leave Gus without a life preserver. I know full well that if I just stopped showing up to football games with a band or a drumline or something, the parents would be at their office doors with pitchforks and torches. Besides, I never had any intention of copping out of pep band duty. I tried to make it clear to Gus: I will provide what spirit support I can within reason. Saying "please" goes a long way with me. In fact, had Palpatine used that word once in a while, she would have gotten far more cooperation from me.

Cooperation.... not loyalty... cooperation.

We'll see if he figures it out. I hope for his sake he does: word on the street is that he put his name in the pot of potential Palpatine replacements. If he makes it, he's going to have to uninstall her OS and load his own: He doesn't have what it takes to operate the way she did. I mean that as a compliment.

Oh dear reader, I know what you're thinking: Will Maestro ever stop writing about Principal Palpatine? I plan on.... trying. I promise this - one final farewell address to the evil one, and then I will never again devote an entire post to her.

No, really.

THE END OF THE EMPIRE!!!

Hold the phone... I say HOLD THE PHONE folks... this is about as hot a scoop as it gets.....

Principal Palpatine is leaving Empire High School!!!

That's right... the individual who is responsible for the vast majority of stress, unhappiness, and feelings of self-doubt in my life four the last four years is finally removing herself from my sphere of existence.

I heard the news today... confirmed by the presence of a hastily composed farewell e-mail from the evil one herself in my inbox.

I'm out of town right now - I'm working a three week session at Rocky Pines Music Camp (My favorite place in the world) where I have no phone service and sketchy internet connection. It seems that the news was released just today (the one day this week that I managed to check my e-mail)... not only was Palpatine's farewell address waiting for me, I also found a number of excited posts and messages spread out over my Facebook page and two other e-mail accounts.

The Empire is Dead.

Now, before you wise and experienced folk jump in and warn me about the dangers of an unknown future... let me just say that at the very least I am guaranteed to be happy and stress free for the remainder of my summer.

More on this later (When I return from Rocky Pines) In the mean time...

THE EMPIRE IS DEAD! DOWN WITH TYRANTS! LONG LIVE THE REBELLION!!!!

Ciao Bella!

Here it is - My 11-Day pseudo-journal from the Italy Trip

Italy: Day 1 – LAX – Lufthansa Airlines

International travel is kind of a funny thing for me. I stress out so much before getting on the plane that I have a hard time thinking about my destination. It isn’t a fear of flying; it’s a fear of airport procedures. Lines, regulations, people who treat you like you’re the 800th person they’ve seen that day, trying to walk through a crowd with half of your belongings crammed into more bags than one person should carry (traveling light was never my forte). Add into it the fact that I’m missing my better and smarter half on this trip and… well, you’d be surprised at how not thrilled I was to be standing in the airport.

But D-Day at LAX went smoother than it ever has. My wife took a half day off work to drive me to the airport. She drops me off at the curb, gives me a huge kiss that leaves a hole in my heart and drives off. I got there about half an hour before the meet time; people from our group were already starting to filter in. I waited for Susan and James to show up (with little Adam in tow) before heading for the check-in window. (As I watch our group members shuffle by, I realize that I’ve easily taken the prize for biggest and most overstuffed luggage).

The lady behind the ticket counter is sharp little number: witty, funny and friendly. She sees my final destination and says “Venice, eh? We’ll you won’t feel alone. There are more Americans in Venice than Venetians.” She gives me my passport and boarding pass and chirps “Have a good time.”

Twenty minutes later I make it through the security check and find my way to the gate. James approaches me that at the last minute and tells me that the group received one business class upgrade, and that I got it. Soon we boarded the plane – I split off from the group and went to the First Class – Business Class door.

So here I am, with all the leg room in the world… sitting in a chair that can be adjusted in eight different directions, with a NASA designed arm-rest controller that can call up my choice of fifteen different movies and oh, let’s not even mention the food.

I took a peak back in Economy to say “hi” to everyone else. When I saw how cramped they were, I decided not to say anything.

Day 2 – Still on the Road

Okay, here’s the deal. The itinerary calls this “Day 2” simply because we went from one calendar day to the next. But everyone here is in agreement: from the time you leave your home to the time you bed down at the hotel…. You’re on frickin “Day 1”

Not too much to report – We got to Frankfurt and connected to Venice without much incident. Two people lost their luggage… other than that, it was smooth sailing. We got to our hotel in Venice and checked in. Brian and I are room-mates for the trip. We’re both fairly large guys. The room is about half the size of a college dorm room, and the bathroom looks like it was designed for… well, not hobbits. If there was some mythical creature that was thinner than the average human, rather than shorter, that’s what the bathroom is made for.

One thing I like about Italy so far: The cars drive on the same side of the street as the US. That means we don’t have to worry about stepping off the street and getting creamed by a bus because we were looking the wrong way.

Okay, Jet Lag setting in. Gotta sleep.

Day 3 - Venice

Venice is beautiful. It’s also hot and humid. We woke up at 6:30 a.m. for a 7 a.m. breakfast and an 8:45 bus loading time. We took a private water transport to the Piazza San Marco and had a guided tour of the Doge’s Palace and St. Marc’s Basilica. After that we only had about 2 ½ hours before we had to meet to get ready for our first performance. Just enough time for food and maybe some shopping. Some of our group took a water taxi down the grand canal. I hung out with Susan and James and got lunch. I also had my first sampling of gelato (well… second and third as well, but shhhhh.) Aside from that it was pretty much taking pictures and buying water bottles any time I passed a place that sold them.

Hanging with James and Susan is kind of interesting. Apparently, little Adam is a far more inviting tourist attraction than anything Venice had to offer. Everywhere we went, people of all nationalities fawned over the little guy. It was cute to watch. (I have to note, so far Adam has been holding up very well. He’s about as easy to manage as any newborn could possibly be.)


It seemed like such a crime to spend so little time in Venice, but the schedule is what it is. We boarded the buses and headed to a little town nearby called Padova. We were part of a music festival organized by the village, which turned out to be a much smaller home-grown operation than we expected. I mean, they were nice, so I don’t mean to be critical. The venue turned out to be a makeshift outdoor stage near what looked like a community center. It was also way too humid for tuxedoes – I think I lost about 20 pounds in water weight (and when I got up to conduct I look like I just climbed out of a pool.) The concert went well as well as could be expected (except for the part where I accidentally knocked a girl’s violin off of a table backstage and nearly smashed it. Fortunately, the chin rest broke the fall and was the only thing that broke – I owe her a new one.)

A lot of hand shaking with the local officials (I think I’ve perfected my pronunciation of “grazie”) and we were soon back on the bus, and back at the hotel. I think everyone had to hang their concert attire up to let it dry out overnight.

Day 4 - Cremona / Montecatini

After an early breakfast, we packed up all our stuff and boarded the bus for the second leg of the trip: Cremona and Montecatini. Cremona is a sort of musician’s pilgrimage stop since it’s basically the violin making capitol of the world. The bus ride gave me the opportunity to organize all of my photos thus far (Can I just say how much I love this Acer?).

Cremona is okay. What we liked best about it is that it was far less crowded than Venice, far less commercial, a little cooler and a lot less humid. We visited a Violin maker’s shop and crammed something like 75 people into this tiny room with no air conditioning and listened to this woman talk about how she makes a violin from scratch. It was interesting and excruciating at the same time. (She makes something like 10-12 violins a year, and sells each for $17,000… not a bad living, eh?) From there we visited the local town hall where they had a display of instruments from their more famous historical violin makers: Amati, Guarneri and of course, Stradivari. We saw one of the first violins ever made – an instrument that is valued at about $10 Million (just sitting behind a modest glass case.) After the museum we had a short break for lunch (and more gelato). I had real Italian Pizza for the first time. Then it was back on the bus and on to our hotel in Montecatini.

It was when we got to the second hotel that I started to see the ugly side of some of our traveling companions. Some of the families got rooms smaller than what they required, and proceeded to verbally assault the tour guides. One mother called the tour company back in the US to complain. Brian jumped in and tried to sort out the mess, while at the same time, informing the parents of our expectation for them to handle their problems in a mature, diplomatic and respectful manner. But then, this is a “privileged” Southern California culture that we’re dealing with here. Some of these people believe that the fact that they shelled out a lot of money means that they don’t have to treat other people like human beings. Money can do that to a person.

Personally, I found the rooms charming, and the view spectacular. But then I would have been happy with something half the size. I’m just jazzed to be in Italy.

Day 5 – Florence

After a pretty good breakfast in the hotel’s restaurant with a to-die-for view, we got on the bus and took a short drive to neighboring Florence, the city that safeguards the largest collections of art in all of Europe. Florence is the town of Michelangelo, Dante, Galileo… and… um… all those other guys the tour lady talked about (I was awake the whole time, I swear.) I usually do pretty well in art museums, but the Galleria degli Uffizi is kind of Renaissance saturated, and after a while got sort of burned out on Madonna-and-child paintings. Fortunately there were a few portrayals of Venus here and there to spice things up. The group broke for lunch, and a few of us made a bee line for Santa Croce, where some of Florence’s more famous residents are buried.

I took almost 300 pictures. The D50 is holding up pretty well, but I think it’s the 18-200 VR lense that makes the difference. It’s allowing me to take al sorts of shots that would have been impossible before. And while I miss some of the D90 features, I appreciate that the D50 is a little smaller and considerably lighter – a definite plus when it comes to travel.

More drama back at the hotel. Two sisters were allowed to get a room separate from their parents, and they apparently trashed the place. The hotel staff was pissed. I think James or Brian handled it… I’m not sure how it turned out. If this gets any worse, I’m going to pretend to be a German tourist as I walk through the lobby (Was is das? I know nothing of der Americans!)

Day 6 – Lucca and Pisa

The morning was pretty ordinary, although we did enjoy the luxury of waking up almost two hours later that we usually do. Lucca is a beautiful town, by far my favorite of the trip (so far). In fact, if I had to choose a town in Italy to live, it would be Lucca: Not so crowded, not so touristy, but very nice. It seems to have the most foliage of any place we’ve yet visited. I finally bought something for my wife: a few kitchen items made out of olive wood.

Pisa wasn’t as nice as Lucca, but the Leaning Tower was cooler than I thought it would be. I spent the afternoon hanging out with James and Susan (and Adam). We all had dinner in Pisa and also brought our stuff for a concert. This time we performed in a church and shared the concert with the local church choir. They were okay for a little local group… they had a pretty decent tenor soloist. Our performance was… well… kind of shaky. I kind of mentally shut down after the concert… partly from fatigue, but mostly from no wanting to worry about our musical product anymore. I just want to enjoy the trip.

Tomorrow is another late-wake up, and another excursion from Montecatini.

Day 7 – Siena

Today seemed like an intentionally light day. Rather than shuffling us to two or three locations, we pretty much just bussed over to Siena for the afternoon. Siena almost knocked Lucca off of the #1 favorite city spot: Its dark narrow winding streets that wound like caves up and down the hillside gave it a kind of mystique. And just when you thought the entire city was nothing but a claustrophobic labyrinth, the center opens up into a huge bowl shaped square, where the famous horse race is held every year. Amazing, just amazing. Siena also had the best gelato I’ve yet tasted. I had two helpings just to be sure.

Back at the hotel, I downloaded all of my photos for the day and went hunting for a wifi hotspot. The hotel staff has been giving people in our group mixed signals where a hotel wifi service is concerned: Some people were told they didn’t have any, some were told it was broken, some were given a 10-minute password, and a very chosen few got a 2-hr password. I don’t think they like us very much.

I unsuccessfully went looking for an internet cafe, after which I trudged back to the hotel. Interesting though…. I discovered that Italians seem to like to get out of their houses and just walk around their city. Even the elderly… at 10 p.m. on a Sunday night. You gotta love a country where stuff like that happens.

Day 8 Assisi – Rome

Today we loaded the buses for Rome. At the halfway mark we stopped at Assisi (famous for being the birth and burial place of St. Francis). Once again, we found ourselves completely flabbergasted with the beauty of the city (putting Lucca and Siena to shame just about) Assisi sits on top of a hill, and the view approaching it from below was spectacular, and the view from the top even more so. The streets of Assisi wound in every direction like Siena, only it’s much brighter and more cheerful. About an hour into our stop we found ourselves besieged by another brief rainstorm. This time I wasn’t lucky enough to find shelter and I got pretty soaked. (Fortunately the camera survived.)

When we finally got to Rome, we circled around it and came in from the south (closer route to our hotel, apparently). My first impression of Rome wasn’t that spectacular: It’s a big dirty city with graffiti. But then, we weren’t exactly staying in 5 a star hotel: ours was close to the perimeter, far from the touristy (and cleaner) center.

Even more drama at the hotel – a couple of families have really taken to disliking our tour guides, and have done little but complain. They decided to secede from the group, find better hotels and agreed to meet up with us for the tours and performances. (It’s for the better: They were pissing everyone in our group off, and we were all happy to be rid of them on the bus.)

Day 9 – Ancient Rome

Today was the day we finally saw the stuff that Rome is famous for: The Colosseum, the Pantheon, the remains of the Roman Senate Building, the Egyptian obelisks, the Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain. All very impressive. We got a walking tour of the Colosseum, where I tried to take a series of photos that I could later make a single panorama picture out of (we’ll see how that works out.) I was particularly struck by the Pantheon, with its large intimidating marble columns holding up the portico. (It is particularly well-kept, owing to the fact that it was used as a church early on, rather than left for decay like the other structures.) Today was another heavy-walking day, with some of the hottest weather we’ve yet seen. Still, it didn’t ruin the sightseeing.

At one point, Susan and I ducked into a book store where we found some really cute children’s books, including a beautifully illustrated version of Pincocchio.

Tonight we had a concert in the church of Sant’Agnese in Agony: probably the most historic place I’ve ever performed in (Well, the Sydney Opera House is pretty historic… but nowhere near as old.) There’s a legend about a rivalry between two artists who participated in the church’s construction – Borromini who built the façade, and Bernini who made the Fountain of Four Rivers in front. The story goes that Bernini sculpted one of the statues of the fountain to look like it was reacting in horror to Borromini’s façade. I actually saw a TV documentary on it a while back. (I was surprised that I recognized it before the tour guide even said anything).

Anyway, as thrilling as it was…it was another hot and sweaty performance. In fact, we all started joking about how the audience should be moved a little further from the orchestra areas, given that we’ve been wearing the same un-washed performance attire, and keep adding another layer of sweat to them. I turned to Brian at one point and said “At the end of this tour, I think I’m going to need an exorcist more than a dry cleaner for this tuxedo.”

Day 10 – Rome / Vatican City

Our last full day in Italy (which is kind of a relief… as much as I like it here, I’m getting kind of exhausted). We boarded the busses and headed for the entrance of the Vatican Museum.

Now, I have to interject here and say something about our bus driver, Luigi. First of all he looked like a bad-ass (with a passing resemblance to Daniel Craig) which means that even if any of our group wanted to complain, they certainly weren’t going to do it to him. Secondly, he’s a fearless and highly skilled driver. We saw him do things with that bus… squeeze through spaces and takes windows of opportunity on the road that I wouldn’t have attempted with a Fiat…. Well, let’s just say he’s the Han Solo of tour bus drivers. Lastly, according to our guide, he’s a former police officer… which means that he had an uncanny sense of when it was safe to pull something illegal-but-not-dangerous and when not to. Yeah – we gave Luigi a big tip at the end.

The Vatican probably had the densest collection of art and stuff that we’d yet seen. Well, maybe the museum in Florence had more, but they didn’t lay it all out in the same hallway they way the Vatican Museum did. And one thing I learned about the Sistine Chapel – apparently when the guards stand there and shout “No photos” at the tourists… it really comes down to a matter of personal integrity as to whether or not you actually follow those instructions. There were so many flashes going off that I don’t see how they would have had the manpower to deal with it all. (Of course, one of our “difficult” parents was standing right in the center, snapping away at everything he could aim his lens at… I was embarrassed for him.)

Aside from that, The chapel itself was smaller than I thought it would be. (Which is kind of like listening to a Beethoven symphony and then looking at your watch and saying “Umm… kind of short, isn’t it?) But I was impressed with the artwork and again, I found myself suddenly struck with the idea that I was standing in the presence of something I never thought I’d see in real life.

St. Peter’s Basilica, however, was a different story. The largest church in Christendom. Yeah.

Day 11 – Goin’ Home
Not much to report. We packed up, got on the bus and headed for the airport. Of course, there was last minute grumbling because most of us did not get a wake up call, which threw a wrench in a few people’s works. I understand their frustration, but they should have directed that at the hotel, not the tour guides.

A funny thing about the last ride… once we got out of tourist’s Rome and into the Italian’s Rome, I started to see a city pretty much like any other city – with schools and chain restaurants and laundromats and what not. Underneath the surface it’s all the same.

No business class for me on the trip home, which was fine. I got to sit right across from Jeff, Susan and baby Adam (he was pretty good for the trip home… a little fussy at take-off but he slept most of the way).

I sat next to an elderly Asian lady who kept giving me the stuff from her meals that she didn’t want. She also had a Nintendo DS that she used to play Sudoku (It’s funny to see a 75 year-old woman with a DS… but then I’m a 40 year old with a PSP that I use to play Star Wars games, so I shouldn’t really say anything.)

We made LAX in good time. My wife was half way to the terminal by the time I got my bags, so the wait wasn’t long. It was good to see her again.

Overall we had a great trip (other than the embarrassment of having to travel with a few “ugly American” tourists, and the fact that I seem to have lost my batons somewhere along the way… Venice I think.)