When the Greater Evil Succumbs

... the smaller evil rises to take it's place. So, tonight I get an e-mail from the cheer advisor summoning me to a meeting with our dance teacher and Principal Leto this Friday. Something about "ideas about how to increase school spirit at football games."

Now... I consider Cheer Advisor to be a friend, and I think she's tried (in the past) to be sensitive to my issue with Principal Palpatine. The problem is, I don't think she's ever fully understood my issue with P. To be sure, she doesn't understand how band works. I know this because she recently handed me a CD that contained a recording of a tune that happens to be a different arrangement of a pep song that we regularly play, with the expectation that we would change what we play to fit her girls' dance. It's becoming apparent to me that she shares a critical trait P: She has no concept of band outside of football games or pep rallies. I don't fault her for that, but it does make it difficult to find common ground.

I am not going to gear up for a border skirmish... but I think I will have to stand my ground in a couple of areas: I won't have our repertoire, or our operations dictated to us. I told P to her face that I worked for the kids, not for her. (and act that I hope never to have to repeat with another principal.) I certainly feel far less obliged to Cheer Advisor in that respect. At the same time, I have to be careful not to appear as anything but a "team player." Leto may be a band guy at heart, but I fully expect him to be a principal first. I think the best thing is to listen to her ideas, and then give input on if/how we can accommodate them.

(Edit)

Had the meeting. Turns out Cheer Advisor wasn't trying to push anything on my band: The reason why she wanted the meeting was to protect her middle school girls from being burned out by the expectation to perform at the high school events. I feel bad for not trusting her.

Leap of Faith

So, yesterday I went by the school late. Like 5 p.m. I was supposed to be there much earlier, but I got stuck waiting for the carpet cleaners to come detox my apartment. I needed to get to my mailbox because I was expecting a package, and didn't want to wait until monday (I'm impatient like that.) Pulling into the front lot, I could see that there were only two vehicles parked, and one of them was the school van. I wasn't expecting to be able to get into the admin building.

I parked and walked to the front door. Yup... locked up like a safe... but the lights were on, which meant there was a chance that some workaholic might still be inside. Just so happens I was right - MS Principal Gus saw me pull up from his office window and came out to open the door for me. We were a little surprised to see each other.

But Gus wasn't just being nice, he actually wanted to talk to me. Apparently I have, one again, been given a roster that is 30 bodies over the union limit of 180. That means that before the school years starts I have to either sign a waver that legitimizes my student count, or they have to lighten my load by moving kids out of my classes. Gus just wanted to know whether or not I'd sign the waiver.

Now friends, let me tell you that the same issue came up last year. My problem wasn't that I had too many students... my problem was that Principal Palpatine had instructed the counselors to cram 40+ rank beginners into a band class, mixed with intermediate and advanced players. She didn't bother to check whether or not I had enough instruments to distribute. I didn't.

A year ago I had a choice to refuse the waiver. I didn't take it because I knew that while I would have put the administration in a position of having to lighten my roster, they were under no obligation to move the students out of particular classes. I knew well that the last thing Palpatine would have done was take kids out of band... she was more likely to kill my AP Theory or Orchestra class first. So I just tolerated it, and made it work. Barely.

Flash forward to this year. Before Summer, I had worked out a plan with Palpatine to drop the theory class and reinstate a beginning instruments class. I liked teaching theory, but the truth was that I knew the enrollment was never big... not to mention the fact that as long a Palpatine insisted on drafting middle schoolers into band, I'd need a separate class for the beginners. Besides, theory is labor intensive, and this year I need to simplify my life as much as possible.

The problem is that even though Palpatine is gone, she still managed to convince the counselors that band has no upper enrollment limit. So where last years single band class had over seventy kids enrolled, this years combined classes have over a hundred. Once again, I am put in the predicament of having too many bodies, not enough instruments.

So the dilemma facing me is this: My easy way out is to decline the waiver. Now that Palpatine has been replaced by an arts-friendly principal, my chances of being able to manage the exodus favorably. *However* By declining the waiver I will be forcing, rather than negotiating a change favorable to my position. That kind of thing has a way of rubbing people the wrong way. Besides, it may very well be that even without the extra bodies - I'll still have a need to exceed the enrollment cap. By insisting that they hold to the contract, I may be forced to deny a talented student from joining our ranks somewhere in the middle of the year.

I am inclined to sign the waiver, and trust that the new administration will work with me, rather than work me over. The only thing that makes me nervous is the fact that the counselors are already facing the problem of overcrowded classes in other areas, and an elective class is probably the bottom of their priorities. While I am not anywhere near as distrusting of them as I was Palpatine, I'm not entirely confident that they will be able to do much.

The Future's So Bright, I Have To Wear Shades

So today I had the council kids show up, and they helped put the music rooms back together after the stellar floor polishing/carpet scrubbing job that the maintenance guys did in my rooms. I have shiny floors again. Even in my office. This makes me happy.

We hadn't seen hide nor hair of the new principal since the announcement of his selection. I was told that he was spending time helping his former school get up and running for the new year... not to mention the fact that the new-and-improved administrative team had a retreat of their own for the last couple days. That's why I was surprised as hell when I found him sitting at his desk when I went into the front office near closing time today.

I introduced myself. He smiled and said "Well.. tell me about your program." I gave him the Readers Digest version. (I did manage to mention that there was no marching program.) Afterwords, he smiled again and said "Well, you just tell me what you need. I'm all about building arts programs." It was short and sweet, but it was enough. He definitely has a good aura. Calm, friendly, approachable. It was soothing just to talk to him.

Score.

So now, dear readers, it comes down to a matter of giving our new boss a nickname for the blog. I know it may be premature, but the obvious choice seems to be "Principal Skywalker."
I will say, however, that my reaction to him reminded me of a vignette from a different franchise altogether:

Those of you who have read Frank Herbert's Dune may remember that when the Galactic Emperor shifted control of the all-important spice production on the desert planet Arakis from the cruel Harkonnen family to the noble Atreides family, the indigenous Fremen population, (having been abused by the Harkonnen) took some time figuring out whether or not to trust the new Duke and his family. One day, Liet Kynes, one of the most important Fremen leaders, watched on as Duke Leto Atreides sacrificed a priceless cargo of spice in order to save the lives of the men harvesting it. Kynes thinks to himself: "This Duke is more concerned over his men than the spice! I must admit, against all better judgement, I like this Duke."

It's not a perfect fit, and New Guy still has yet to proove himself, but I can not deny that I want to believe in him, the way I wanted to believe in Obama after eight years of Bush.

Principal Leto Atreides? (or for you Dune fans... Muad'Dib?... or is that a being a little too... cultish?)

The Rock Around Which The River Flows

So, last weekend I took my umpteenth group of students on the annual NRHS Music Dept. Leadership Retreat. 7 kids, two adults (including myself) one semi-cramped cabin in the mountains. You may remember that on last year's excursion, I got horribly sick. Fortunately, no such malady ruined this years trip for me, although I did manage to stretch something in my leg, leaving me with a semi-limp for a couple of days.

The retreat went smoothly. This year we managed to spend more time in "bonding activities" than in meetings, but that may have been a good thing. One of the students recently had some kind of knee surgery, which eliminated the traditional three-hour hike up a stream bed to a pile of rocks we like to call "Devil's Pile." Instead, we spent some time at a local water slide n' mini-golf place. Everyone had a blast.

On the second night, I taught the group to play Robo Rally - a board game that requires that the player manage a complicated movement system while simultaneously trying to do as much damage to their opponents as possible. Oddly enough, the clear winner of the evening was the quiet, shy uber-Christian girl who managed to reach all the checkpoints, deal my robot enough laser beam damage to force a repair shut-down, and push her co-president's robot in to a bottomless pit of death. Twice. My favorite part of the game came when miss Lisa looked at me with her big blue Disney eyes and said in an innocent-but-eerie tone "Mr. M.... I think I'm about to kill you." It was a wonderful Stephen King moment. Creeped out everyone at the table.

Every year I do the retreat I become more and more aware that the venue remains the same, but the faces change. I looked at the dinner table and flashed back to councils past - going all the way back to my first year at New Republic. I realized the extent to which I have become not just a teacher, but an institution - a process that students go through as they progress through their middle school and high school careers. I suddenly foresaw myself years from now, welcoming children of former students into my classroom - proud parents who want me to give the same gifts to the next generation, and the next.

It all felt very "Harry Potter."

In the hallway outside my classrooms hangs a plaque dedicated to a man who held down the Old Republic instrumental music program for thirty years. I hope at the end of my career that I will have earned my own plaque there... maybe at Rocky Pines as well. I think I'm on my way. It just seems funny that my road to that is paved with things like games of Robo Rally.

The Last Letter

Dear Former Principal Palpatine,

As the 2009-2010 School year approaches, I decided to write this last address to you which, sadly, will never cross your eyes. I had hoped that in our last meeting you would have realized the severity of my lack of trust and loyalty towards you. Alas, I understand that you have an uncanny ability to ignore anything that doesn't play to your advantage. Had I known that it would be our last interaction... ohh the things I would have said. Then again, you never listened... and you certainly can't be expected to remember. In the future, you will probably only recall me as the pesky band teacher who refused to play to your tune.

You probably knew that my name was high on a list of people that wanted you gone. When you finally announced your resignation, the number of people who approached me, expecting me to join in hearty chorus of "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" (I'm not kidding... they're using that song.) was even more than I had expected. But see... I'm not a witch-burner. Anger and contempt are somewhat foreign to me. They eat at my psyche and steal energy from my endeavors that require compassion. They rob me of my ability to be playful, optimistic and imaginative.

So when I am put in a situation where I am forced to deal with those emotions, I obsess over the source. That's what happened at CowTown High School... and the fact that you inspired those things here... at the school that healed and nurtured me after the living hell that CowTown was... you have no idea how much that made me resent you, and thus resent myself for letting you have that much control over me.

I've been trying to process your presence in my life ever since I started this blog. I now hope to try to bring that process to a close by compiling a few lists of things that I need to express about you... lists that I tried to make concise and as cleanly defined for my own sake (besides, bullet points are the only way to get you to absorb anything.)

Were I the person writing your professional evaluation, these are the items that I would be sure to include:

* You not only support a culture that defines personal value as a number, you celebrate it.

* You truly believe that the end justifies the means: lying, bullying and unfairly stacking the odds in your favor.

* You treat everyone you meet in accordance with how they can help you towards your personal goals.

* You have no understanding of, nor any real appreciation for the arts.

Things that I will never forgive you for:

* You tried to use me and my students to meet the wants of people who are not enrolled in the music program, nor have any children enrolled.

* You tried to enforce your vision of the music program, one that not only dictated our purpose in the school, but also identified the kind of student that we should recruit.... based on academic scores.

* You used intimidation tactics on me on behalf of your favorite student.

* You suggested that I had no passion for my discipline..... how fucking dare you!

Things that I should actually thank you for:

* I will never again blindly trust my supervisors.

* I now know that I have the ability to stand up to people like you.

* Through you I was forced to define the things that I needed to defend, thus bringin me to a clearer focus of who I am.

* Through you, I learned a lot about how school beuracracies work, and how best to maeuver myself for survival.

* Through common adversity I developed stronger bonds with my fellow faculty.

Things that your resignation brings to my life:

* I can feel comfortable walking through the front office again.

* I am free to develop a healthy relationship with athletics on my own terms.

* I am relieved to know that when my son arrives, he will not meet a father plagued by worry and self-doubt.

A colleague once warned me about what I posted online... even here on my "anonymous" blog, lest the administration actually discover it. I almost wish that you had. From here on out, I may still have a few things to say about you here.... but I have nothing more to say to you. Our time is done. We are quits.

Maestro

Music Director, New Republic High School

Survivor.

Whatever You Say, Dear....

Okay, my wife thinks that my little Meez (tm) dude on the right there looks African American. I wouldn't have a problem with it, except I'm not African American, and I happen to think that the guy looks pretty generic Caucasian. She insists... she says it isn't so much a skin thing, but a face shape/eyebrow thing. She says "anyone would think so"

So I put it to you, dear readers is my little digital portrait a) an Undercover Brother or b) Pretty Fly for a White Guy? Of course, I'm not really Caucasian either... not entirely. I'm about half Pacific Islander. Kind of. Well, it's an Island in the... okay whatever... just tell me what you think because I believe there's a back-rub riding on it. (we made a bet)

UPDATE

The district announced the new principal for Empire High School. My informant was correct, the new guy is a former band teacher.

Now, this could be a double-edged sword: First of all, there are a lot of band guys who LIVE to do marching band. If he was one of those, then it is inevitable that we will have a meeting.... soon.... to discuss the blatant lack of marching at EHS. Even if he doesn't live for marching band, I'm sure the same forces that bent Palpatine's ear over the matter will find their way to him as well.

*However*

A real band guy will recognize the extreme disadvantage that a 7-12 vocal/instrumental program has in trying to develop a marching band. And when I stress the no feeder part, I trust that I really shouldn't have to explain myself beyond that. This isn't to say that he won't ask, or even try to push me in the direction of marching... but if that happens I'm trusting that he won't try to force results through uninformed, idiotic and/or abusive methods the way Palpatine did.

I'm also guessing that he will show up to concerts... at least a few. Heh, I'm not used to having admin show up who can tell when the 2nd clarinets are out of tune... It'll be fun.

Keeping Up On The Gossip

So... obviously our school is a little preoccupied with trying to figure out who Principal Palpatine's replacement is going to be. I've talked to a lot of people. I heard a lot of stuff... some of it conflicting.

I had always heard that the principalship of Empire High was a tough spot to fill. We have financially, socially and politically powerful parents. We have a strong-willed, aggressive faculty. We have the immense pressure of upholding the reputation of a nationally ranked academic program. It's always been a powder keg, and Palpatine did nothing but intensify the mixture with her own brand of self-serving nitroglycerin.

I thought we were in for a long, difficult process. What I neglected was the fact that the current state of affairs in California has recently put a lot of ed people on the market for a new job - people who are suddenly far less picky than they would have been a year ago.

We got something like 80 applications, or so "they" say.

I heard a lot of back and forth about who the final line up was... and even some about who the lucky winner might have been. If that information is correct, it will have.... interesting implications for me. More on that later.

The most interesting gossip was this... Palpatine was *supposedly* fired from ner new job before she even started it. Furthermore, she *supposedly* came crawling back to our district asking for her old job back. Something about *supposed* anti-Palpatine letters that made their way to the upper brass of her new institution. Is it true? God, who knows. It sounds like wishful thinking on behalf of the source... an individual whose issues with Palpatine make mine look like an argument over pizza toppings. I've heard some wild ones come out of that one before.

I did a Google search. Nothing. Of course, I'm starting to understand that school districts never publicize when they fire someone, only when someone leaves under a mutual understanding. Funny... Palpatine had a way of proclaiming "mutual understandings" when there was none. Was she forced to swallow one herself? Maybe. To be sure: her supposed new employer hasn't posted anything on their web site announcing her arrival. Yet.

Here's a better question: Do I WANT it to be true? If for no other reason but good Karma, I am remaining decidedly neutral on this, curious as I may be. I know people who have stated that they would like nothing better than to bask in the warmth of her smoldering career. I just want her to stay out of my life.

I don't want to see Palpatine "punished", I want her to take ownership of the hurt she's caused. Unfortunately, there's no way to force that on someone - they have to have some kind of an epiphany and look in the mirror and see the person others see them as. In her case it may not happen until well after she's retired - when she looks back on a career built with deception and intimidation, and realizes that none of her accolades brought her any more respect, admiration... certainly not love. By then it will be too late.

Shit, I think that's worse than losing your job.

Wacky Teacher Speak

So, I've concluded that one of the elements in keeping my students interested in what I have to say is through the constant development of idiosyncrasies that they find amusing. I've known some teachers who swear (and a few with mouths like sailors). I don't know, high school coaches seem to get away with it, but it seems risky and it definitely isn't my style (most of the time, it lacks imagination.) In fact, I don't wear much in my regular life... I don't really feel the need to swear in front of my students. Much.

To this end, I've developed a few of my own "Maestro-isms" that seem to work.

Evil Minions - I've taken to referring to my classes in general as "my evil minions." This is an obvious nod to classic comic book villains who, curiously enough, acknowledge their own evil nature. The kids seem mildly amused by this. This can manifest in a number of ways:

"Listen to me now, my evil minions..."

"Come my evil minions, it is time for the C Concert scale... and then we shall complete the Death Ray"

Comic Book Exclamations - This is actually a page taken out of the likes of Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and their ilk . Whether or not the kids recognize them, these have been around for decades.

"Great Caesar's Ghost!"

"It's Clobberin' Time!"

"I'm just your Friendly Neighboorhood *Music Teacher*"

"Wagon Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain Ho!" - Useful for putting a large number of bodies on the move. You need a big, deep, loud voice to pull this one off.

Movie Quotes
This is a well that can never run dry. The creative part is linking the correct phrase with the right situation. Here are my favorites -

"That's no moon, it's a space station!"

"It's more of a guideline." (Needs a pirate accent)

"You know Vizini, you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means" (Needs Spanish accent)

"You do not know pain, you do not know fear... you will taste MANFLESH" (Saruman's inspirational speech from The Two Towers. Works great just before a concert or a competition.)

"..... the problems of one little music teacher don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world"

and on that note -

"Of all the classrooms in all the schools in all the world... you had to walk into mine"

One of my favorite movie quotes is Bill Murray's "Mother Puss-Bucket!" from Ghostbusters, but I stopped using it when a 7th grader heard me say it and instinctively followed up with "Yeah, Mutherf***er!"

Channeling Elvis - Actually, it doesn't have to be Elvis. It can be anyone... just put on your favorite accent and go. You get wonderfully confused looks when you pull it out at random.
My favorites (besides Elvis):

Jack Nicholson (clean version)

Mitch Hedberg (clean version)

Boris (from Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Bullwinkle (From Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Rocky (the boxer, not from Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Yoda (The class favorite)

More as I am inspired...

Scenes from Rocky Pines Music Camp

Well, I'm not quite the shutterbug that Magical Mystical Teacher or Lantis Lani is, but here are a few photos I took with my D90.

AFTERMATH

So... it's been a few weeks since news of Principal Palpatine's departure, and aside from the initial uncontrollable outburst of joy, my overriding reaction has been to let everything just slide all to hell. I haven't done one stitch of preparation for school. I've barely even thought about it. Now, with a good chunk of August still laying ahead of me, you'd think that wouldn't be so bad... but there's a lot to do, and some things had to be put in motion... well, yesterday. No... two weeks ago.

I'm supposed to be taking kids on a retreat in less than a week. I did do the initial paperwork, but... umm... cabin rental... van rental.... yeah. And then there's the drum line "camp" we're supposed to be running at the end of the month. I haven't even announced it yet. I wish I could blame it on scrambling to prepare for the new baby... and trying to find a house to live in. But the truth is, I'm just giving myself a lot of space... Maybe I'm just making excuses.

One thing is for sure: If September comes and I hit the ground with my feet at a stand still... it sure as hell isn't going to be Palpatine's fault. So, come Monday I'm going to have to kick ass and take names.

One disturbing thing reared it's head this week - I managed to go by the school to check my mail, and Gus the middle school principal caught me and pulled me into his office. He wanted to confirm things that Palpatine and I argued over agreed on before she was tossed into the Death Star reactor core moved on. A lot of it was logistics.... stuff about classes and scheduling. No big deal (Side note: Palpatine actually tried to set up a separate marching band class, thinking that if she arranged for someone else to teach it, I wouldn't try to block it. The problem is, she was going to put beginners in it. I had a hard time trying to convince her it wouldn't work. I don't think I ever got that point across.)

But what eventually emerged in that conversation with Gus was a discussion about how many athletic events I should plan on attending with some kind of musical support. I told him I was prepared to do exactly that which I agreed with Palpatine: I'd do all the home varsity football games, plus any CIF playoffs. Anything beyond that is subject to our availability.

That's the point where Gus brought up my stipends. He was a lot nicer about it than Palpatine was, but he brought them up all the same. If you haven't been following my blog, you need to know that there was a meeting back in December in which the administration figured out that the only thing they could shove in my face in terms of contractual obligation was a $10,000 stipend that "seemed to imply" that athletic events were a part of my job description. (In truth, the wording is vague. Nice try, though)

I was severely annoyed that the will of Palpatine was lingering in my life through this issue, but I did sense one advantage: Gus isn't even close to being the unstoppable force that Palpatine was. Neither is AP Bob, who was appointed to be my stpiend monitor. I also think that neither of them lack the requisit amount of moral fiber to push something like this through on lies and stretched truths.

Still...

I didn't leave Gus without a life preserver. I know full well that if I just stopped showing up to football games with a band or a drumline or something, the parents would be at their office doors with pitchforks and torches. Besides, I never had any intention of copping out of pep band duty. I tried to make it clear to Gus: I will provide what spirit support I can within reason. Saying "please" goes a long way with me. In fact, had Palpatine used that word once in a while, she would have gotten far more cooperation from me.

Cooperation.... not loyalty... cooperation.

We'll see if he figures it out. I hope for his sake he does: word on the street is that he put his name in the pot of potential Palpatine replacements. If he makes it, he's going to have to uninstall her OS and load his own: He doesn't have what it takes to operate the way she did. I mean that as a compliment.

Oh dear reader, I know what you're thinking: Will Maestro ever stop writing about Principal Palpatine? I plan on.... trying. I promise this - one final farewell address to the evil one, and then I will never again devote an entire post to her.

No, really.