Catching Up With The Llamas

Never too old....

.... to make rookie mistakes.  Arg.

Let me tell you how much I hate sending apology e-mails...

...a LOT...


They're not easy to write.  You have to be careful about slipping into defensive mode, and making excuses.  Really careful.  You also have to acknowledge the anger/disappointment/frustration of the person you are apologizing to.  Repeatedly.

In the last six months, I've had to write three such e-mails - two to parents, and one to an organization who was unhappy with a botched performance on our part.  The botched performance was mostly due to students who promised to show up, but didn't (and didn't call).  I used the incident to demonstrate how "sorry" doesn't cut it in the grown-up world. When one student chimed in and said "Maybe we can do extra-good next time?"  I responded, "There won't be a next time.  We'll never get that call again.  We were treated like professionals, and since we didn't deliver, they stopped trusting us.  You don't get second chances."  I also told them that there are now people out there in the community who do not think highly of the NRHS music program, who might speak up about it if our name was mentioned, and who certainly would not recommend us to anyone else.



The two apologies to the parents were more disturbing to me, because the mistakes were far more damaging:  One for a kid who was left behind at a football game, and one for a kid who didn't get a chance to play at the last concert.  I could give you the reasons why both of those things happened... and they're good reasons.  Ultimately, they're excuses, and no matter how you slice it, it boils down to me not paying attention to what was going on.

So... apologies written and sent, and I am left with a "hindsight list" of things to contemplate for the rest of the year.

Fun.

Speaking as a REAL Music Teacher

The following is a quote from Dr. Steve Perry, educational reformer, and one of the scourges of teachers unions.  Taken from an interview on Larry King.

"Parents have an important role. But the parents are often blamed for that which the school is responsible for.  I have a son. I have two sons and they play the piano. And I don’t know how to play the piano. If my piano teacher ever came to our home and said, you know what, if you were a better pianist, your sons would be better piano — players, I’d fire him so quick he’d forget he ever taught my sons to play.  I paid that man to do this. We are asking parents who in some cases haven’t taken chemistry either in 12, 15, 20 years or if ever, to help a child with chemistry homework."

Indeed.

*Ahem*

Dear Dr. Perry,

I have been a musician for most of my life, and a teacher for half of it.  In addition to my job as a public school teacher, I have taught many a private student.  Some were outstanding.  Some, not so much.  The LAST thing I would tell a parent is:  "They suck as musicians because you do."  I might, however, point out that their child seems to avoid practicing, and that it shows.

You see, Dr. Perry, I do not expect the parents to know how to play the instrument in question.  I do however, expect the parents to monitor how much practicing is going on at home.  If, for example, the kid has not sat with the instrument for a day or two - you might want to go take the video game controller out of their hands and tell them they can have it back after they've gone through the assigned exercises a few times.  No, you do not need to tell them whether or not they have done it right - that is my job.  However, for the $40 you gave me, I spent an hour telling them how to do it, and watched them demonstrate it on their own.  What they were supposed to do, was go over it until it became an ingrained process.  But since they did sweet-fuck-all since last week, they can't even remember what I said, much less how to do it.  Therefore, you will spend another $40 so that I can re-teach what we went over... as well as run them through repetitions (that they were supposed to do on their own) and hope it sticks for next week.  Maybe, I'll have five or six minutes at the end of that hour to actually go over something new.

It's not about what you know - it's about what they were supposed to do to enable their own learning process.  If they practiced and they still didn't get it, then it would be an issue that I should rightfully address (without complaint) in the following lesson. 

 I'm sure my colleagues who teach chemistry (and every other subject) will agree - you don't need to have a running knowledge in the subjects we teach.  What you should be doing is making sure they make a go of the work we give them, as well as providing them with a safe, healthy, and focused environment  for them to do it in. Help them manage their time, and their priorities. Allow them to make choices, but hold them to the choices they make.  Asking you to encourage your child to uphold his or her end of the educational process would not constitute a desire for you to "do our job for us."  If you want us to be 100% responsible for your child's education, then please allow us to move into your home so that we can monitor your kid 24/7 - and give us the authority to punish them if they fail to use their time wisely. 

Be warned - that will cost a little more than $40 an hour.

Yours Truly, an American Teacher

Getting MORE than what you pay for?

I understand that under the shadow of SB 165, families have a right to opt out of making any kind of financial contribution to a public school program. I get that. What irritates me is people who want 'premium service' without having to pay a dime for it. And by 'premium service' - I don't mean just doing my job as best I can - every single one of my students deserves that no matter what they contribute monetarily. I'm not even talking about people who can afford to pay but choose not to - I've already accepted that as an inevitable outcome. I'm talking about people who want to be pampered for free - people who feel they have the right to make special requests, especially ones that cater more to the students preference, than any kind of real need.

For example - let's say you are a school basketball coach. Under state law, you have to allow students to play, and supply them with anything they might need (except maybe athletic shoes and socks) free of charge. Now imagine that a parent sends you an e-mail saying.

Dear Mr. Coach

We are writing to request that you reassign Bobby a new basketball jersey. The one you gave him is used, and he says it has an unpleasant smell. Also, it seems that none of the standard sizes fit his unique frame - he just looks kind of funny in the one he's wearing. Can you have one made that will fit him better? Thank you for your concern in this matter.

Sincerely, Nancy Needy

That's the kind of craziness that I'm talking about, and yes I have students/families like that. In fact, it was an e-mail like that one that prompted me to write this post.

I haven't responded yet. I think I'll wait until tomorrow - when I've had a chance to cool off a bit.

Happy 2011-2012!

Hello, Dear Readers, and welcome back!

Sorry for my long hiatus - I actually have a score of posts that I began to write in the last few months, but never finished. You should probably be thankful for that - as I go back and read the drafts, I'm finding them to be rather wordy, dreary reads that don't really say anything particularly interesting.

Anyway, today I will keep my comments to brief, bullet-point statements for your convenience:

* The new classroom is "cozy" to say in the least - stuff from two large rehearsal rooms squeezed into one portable. Nevertheless, yours truly did a kick-ass job of managing the space, and we are making it work.

* My kids this year are nice. Even my beginning class, which usually drives me nuts.

* The new football coach is turning out to be a really chill guy. This is important, because when football/band relations go bad, it can make my life a living hell.

* The youth orchestra I work for is kind of in trouble - not enough enrollment to keep the staff paid through the end of the year. We all agreed to stay on, regardless of pay, for one year at least, but we may be seeing the organization's swan song. It's sad, but at the same time the thought of getting my weekends back is kind of appealing.

So really, the year is starting out to be mostly awesome. Give me another month or so to see if the honeymoon goes sour. You'll be the first to know.

A Parting Thought

Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I am prone to being overly critical of myself at times. It's something that I hold on to, because I have seen teachers who give up trying to make themselves better.... and the last thing I want to become is one of those. I also have a way of comparing myself to the best music teachers I know.... and I know some damn good music teachers.

I have plenty of evidence of things to feel good about... plenty of things to be proud of. I have admiration from colleagues, affection from students and families, stellar professional evaluation results and even a few teaching awards. I have memories of wonderful concerts, and so many exciting performance opportunities that I'm starting to have trouble remembering them all.

And still I find ways of beating myself down. I thought about that recently, especially as I was carefully removing the bronze plaque (the one I mentioned in my last post) dedicated to the legendary NRHS instrumental director. I'd like to think that he would approve of the job I've done over the last 14 years at NRHS. But he and I were so different - his main strength was being a tough disciplinarian. I am anything but.... my bleeding heart and easy-going nature makes me an easy target for students who want to skate by. If nothing else, I'd like to think that he would appreciate the mere fact that since his passing, I was the first teacher to dig in and make a real go of it.

Before I got there, NRHS was the program no one would really want. No one good, anyway. It's a tough job - mixed middle school and high school population, vocal and instrumental, no strong feeders. It's almost a built-in recipe for failure. Because of that, I was preceded by a string of teachers who took the job only until they could find something better. One woman in particular is an outstanding educator - probably one of the best in Southern California. That she gave up after only three years makes me feel a little nervous.

I wish I could say that I was truly beating the odds and succeeding where other failed. The truth is that after 14 years, the NHRS musical product is still not up to what you'd find in a normal high school (with the exception of my advanced choir). On the other hand - I am making it work well enough that a lot of kids go through the program, and come out on the other end satisfied and appreciative... and don't think that I can't see the value in that.

And as I started moving boxes of stuff out of my office, I was hit by another thought - one that made my coming to NRHS seem almost preordained: This program is about to be ripped from it's home and set adrift in a tiny lifeboat for no less than two years (probably more) while the new facility is completed. What it needs more than anything is someone who can keep the community intact and functional. Not to discount musical knowledge, pedagogy and classroom management - but we're going to be in survival mode until we reach the promised land. I'm the guy for the job... if for no other reason, for the fact that I'm the one who cares that much.

EXODUS!

Alas dear readers, so much has happened since the last time I posted.... So much. The end of the year crunch hit me like a hurricane and now I find myself scarcely able to collect all my thoughts to summarize. My concerts went well. My "Great Reform" never really manifested into a practical process, but I still think the work I did in laying the foundation was valuable. A lot of good ideas that need more development... I'll pick at it this Summer. The key is to keep making small changes as I go along, rather than setting myself up to fail at trying to make a lot of big changes all at once. I did manage to make some small changes already. I'm good with that.

There were so many incidents with students in the last month... both good and bad. Now they are all being washed away by the bustle of the last week of school... a process that is particularly chaotic for me this year. You see, my classes are being temporarily relocated while my facility is being renovated (and by renovated, I mean demolished and rebuilt). The last few days have been exhausting. I'm moving from two large rooms into one semi-largish portable. I've been using my students to move light stuff - boxes and instruments. District muscle men have been handling the heavy stuff. The most frustrating part is the inability to arrange the portable to my preference - until the electrical team finishes their work on the outlets and the network drops, we have to keep all of our stuff in the center of the room.

Already we can see that there is a serious space issue. The portable is dangerously cramped. The good news is that the district is providing ample storage for us at an off-campus facility. Still, the essential equipment is gobbling up the classroom space quickly. Add into that the fact that I have to sacrifice a lot of my storage units... it's just kind of scary. There are a lot of things that concern me... or at least they should. The loss of my second room and all the practice rooms means that next year, I have to make major adjustments to how I operate. I haven't even begun to work that through yet. Right now... I'm focused on the move - no time to be worried about much else.

I don't even have an office any more - well the room is still there (for now) but the desk is gone, the computers got packed up (I took them home - I heard too many horror stories stories about valuables walking off during building renovation). The only thing that keeps me functional is my ipad and a router that's plugged into a drop in the choir room (which, rest assured, will be the absolute last thing to go). I can't even print out my last attendance report.

The kids have been asking if they can write on the walls. Actually, it sounds like a good idea - except that with the middle school boys, I'll probably get a bunch of stick figures with exaggerated genitalia... or maybe just the genitalia without the stick figures. In any case, I'd want it to be kind of thoughtful.

The one thing I haven't really given much thought to is the pianos - seven of them, including two grands. Some weeks ago, I emailed a list of what needed to go where to the admin in charge of facilities. Supposedly, he took care of it.... supposedly. (Actually, the world would be better off if some of them went down with the building - I think they made better rat nests than instruments).

The saddest thing is that I feel there should be some kind of... I don't know.... ceremony or something. There is a lot of history in the music rooms at NRHS. A lot of people came through those rooms. The founding instrumental teacher even died there. There was a bronze plaque for him on the wall just outside the instrumental room - It was one of the first things I took down and packed away. I'll talk to the construction people about setting aside a piece of wall to install it somewhere in the new building.

In any case - I'm at the point where most of the stuff that needs to be moved is. I probably have about ten boxes of stuff that I need to decide what to do with. You know.... that stuff that you don't need, but you don't want to throw out? I'm not sure what to do with it, except try to find some space for it now, and deal with it in September.

There are a few things that I'm actually looking forward to. Unlike my current facility, the portable is not in a convenient "pass through" location from the central quad to the parking lot (I used to have people cut through my room - sometimes in the middle of class.) It's a bit of a trek from the main campus. That means I'll probably have a diminished loitering factor. Also, since there isn't a bunch of practice rooms to disappear in, it won't be as inviting a spot to hang out in, since being in there means being in constant eye and ear shot of the teacher. I think it will be quieter and easier to keep clean, as well as easier to lock up at night. No music lockers means less convenience for the students, but less headache for me. The addition of windows will provide possible distraction, and maybe even a security issue - but they will also add something I've never had - an external view. Granted, one of those views is the back side of the other portables - but hey, sunlight is sunlight. The other view is the baseball field - whose sprinklers provide a constant arc of water that kind of resembles a dancing fountain. Kind of.

IPad Heaven

I finally got my hands on an iPad 2 after an effort that felt not unlike trying to arrange for safe passage out of Casablanca. (it involved staking out an Apple store at 6 am until they opened at 9). Was it worth it? Yes, it was.

I fully admit to being an Apple-phobe. There's something about the Mac world that seems a little too cult-like to me. Nevertheless, I do own my share of Apple products. Besides a 32 GB iPod (that I got for free) I also purchased a MacBook that I use solely for audio recording (the guy at the Mac store looked a little hurt when I told him that I wasn't really "switching" to Mac.) What they do, they do very well. I'm just more comfortable with the way PCs 'think'.

Initially, I didn't think much of the iPad. It looked like a glorified iTouch, with a larger screen that still looked too small to be all that useful. A good number of my friends had them - mostly Apple types who were prone to buying the latest thing that Steve Jobs put out there ( I don't mean to sound disdainful of Apple lovers - I just recognize that people may have certain brand loyalties, and I'm cool with that. I myself admit to being something of Sony fanboy). Add into that the fact that I had recently purchased a netbook, and was pretty content with my tech set up.

Slowly, I started nurturing a curiosity for the iPad games functions and began entertaining the prospect of owning one. By the time I committed to making a purchase, the tech world was buzzing with rumors of the announcement of the IPad 2. So I patiently waited a few weeks for the new version to release.

It turned out that I would have to wait a little longer than that. After IP2 D-Day, it took me over a month to work up the courage to brave the early-morning lines. (Yes, there was the option of ordering on-line, but at one point the wait was 4-5 weeks - I was sure I could get one sooner than that.). The good news is that in the inerrim, one of NRHS's support groups offered to pay for iPads for the performing art teachers, so when I finally got one, I was reimbursed.

While not entirely joining the Apple cult, I do have to admit that the iPad is one of the better tech toys that I've acquired in the last decade. To say that I'm enthusiastic about it is a bit of an understatement. I love this thing. It's quickly becoming my universal tool on the podium. The only thing that's lacking is a version of Finale or Sibelius (notation software). It pretty much has everything else.

Here is a list of the best apps I've found thus far:

Subdivide ($4.99) - a basic metronome. Plenty of free ones out there, but I liked this one because of it's large display, big buttons and(like the title says) it subdivides. Cons: it's a little quiet for classroom use, so I have to pipe it through an amp. Also, the triplet subdivision sounds a little off. (I don't usually use it, anyway)

IStrobosoft Tuner HD ($19.99) - Kind of on the pricey side, but it is a good tuner that mimics the old strobe tuners. Large display, easy to read from the back of the room.

Pianist Pro ($9.99) - keyboard/synth app. More than what I need right now. Eventually I'm going to try to use it as a MIDI keyboard with Finale. It's really useful when I need to pick out a part without leaving the podium. Full 88 keys. Can split the screen into two keyboards if you want.

ForScore ($4.99) - Probably the most widely used PDF music reader. Includes a browser function so that you can download and store PDFs directly from web sources (IMSLP or ChoralWkiki). Easy page turns. Good visual clarity. Also has a media player that you can use to link scores with recordings (really useful when I'm working with a recorded accompaniment) Has a bookmarking function, but so far it seems a little cumbersome to use on the fly. Allows you to annotate the score with text, drawn figures, highlighting, etc. I will say, however, that unless you have really good eyes - the screen is still too small to be practical for larger scores. It's great for smaller mediums, or works for individual instruments. I think I'm going to use it a lot for my private lessons.

V-Control Pro ($49.99) - This app provides remote access to ProTools. I haven't really been able to put this one through it's paces, and I am unlikely to use probably half of it's functions. Out of all my music apps, it is by far the on that is designed for professional use. In order for me to make more use of it, I'll have to learn ProTools better (which is on the backburner anyway). The really useful thing is to be able to start and stop the system from the live recording space. I wish it let me see the waveform, but maybe I can learn to work without it.

Other uses: Taking roll ( on our browser-based system) is far easier than using my laptop. Having my entire iPod collection at hand is also useful. YouTube can be handy, assuming that your district doesn't have it blocked. I want to get an Apple TV unit so that I can wirelessly stream to my audiovisual system (if you don't have HD video, you'll have to also by a converter to downscale the signal to composite or s-video output.). That will allow me a lot of classroom mobility.

There are also a lot of theory apps out there - given that I'm not currently teaching the AP Theory class, I didn't see the need to acquire them (maybe I'll check out some of the free ones). There seems to be no shortage of flash-card apps for music, as well as chord calculators and guitar related apps (again, I have no current need for such).

They seem to be pushing things like garage band and virtual drums and guitars, which look like fun to play with, but I don't see any function for a serious musician. I will say, however, that the Magic Piano app is quite fun... Especially for someone with a toddler.

Overall it's an exciting addition to my classroom - one that I would heartily reccomend.

A Glutton for Punishment

So, on Wednesday, I went to an informational meeting on the National Board Certification program. It seemed to me that with my efforts to revamp the music program at New Republic High School, becoming a NBCT might help - with all the organization and reflection it requires. The extra money involved doesn't hurt either. The next day I started looking at the online resources - all the requirements I'll have to meet, the assessments that I'll have to endure. It looks like a lot of work, but not impossible. In short, it looks akin to getting through a master's program, and I certainly survived that process.

Of course, I didn't have a toddler to look after when I was doing my masters :-/

I also started talking to some of my friends - and I've been getting very mixed reactions. Some people think that becoming a NBCT is like making it into the Jedi High Council. Others think that it's a bunch of flash and no substance - submit a bunch of paperwork and write out a check - you pretty much get it (based on the fact that they were not impressed with the people they knew who did become NBCTs)

I think I could genuinely use it as a tool to help me get to where I wanted to go anyway. I'm not afraid of hard work, but I am concerned about the time involved.

Well, loyal readers, what do you think?

(Btw: The fortune cookie that came with today's lunch said "Rely on long time friends to give you advice")

Confessions of a Former Stalker

So, last week I happened to be present when one of my students (Awesome Girl) was discussing her "life issues" with one of my colleagues. This particular student is a smart, attractive, compassionate and hard working individual, and I will admit to something of a student crush. She's one of those kids who puts so much pressure on herself to perform that I worry about her from time to time. She's also one of my most trusted student leaders in the music department.

The colleague in question is one of the better teachers on campus - demanding, but caring. It is not the first time I have known students to confide in her with their personal issues. It just so happens that Awesome Girl and I have a habit of visiting her at the same time - right at the end of the day just minutes after the last bell. Fortunately, Awesome Girl is comfortable enough with me to discuss her problems with me in the room, an honor that I do not take lightly.

Without disclosing too many details (out of respect for Awseome Girl's privacy) I'll only say that the recent discussion centered around her relations with a young man who's interest in her far exceeds her interest in him. The basic story is as common to high school existence as gum under a desk: one poor adolescent with a low self-esteem desperately tries to process his/her feelings for another person - and utterly fails to the point of succumbing to feelings of rejection, depression, self loathing, confusion... and... oh you get the picture.

I listened, quietly on the side. Well, not so quietly at times. Actually, I had a lot to say... because you see... I used to be that guy. Yup. From high school all the way through college, I was the guy who would call a girl 10-15 times a day checking to see if she was there - and leaving my number with frustrated (and probably scared) parents or roommates. I knew the class schedules of the girls I had crushes on. I knew where they liked to eat lunch... and with whom. I was even known to hover around the places of residence now and then. And the few times that I mustered the courage to 'kind of' express my feelings... well, let's just say it didn't usually go well.

Captain Low-Self-Esteem... that was me. Maybe using the term 'stalker' is a bit of an overstatement, but I certainly understand the mindset. Simply put - you have so little confidence in your own worth, the only way you think you'll ever feel good about yourself is if someone else gives you their affection and approval. The problem, of course, is that when you rely heavily on other people for approval, things usually don't work out. To be sure - it scares potential dates / girlfriends away.

This isn't to say that I didn't have dates - or even a few girlfriends during that period, but I didn't have the maturity to handle them well and I usually found myself back to my basic "somebody please feel sorry for me" mode. Now... add a girl like Awesome Girl in the mix and problems kind of multiply. Aside from being attractive, smart and fun to be around, awesome girl is also nurturing... which usually draws low-self esteem cases like WBC protesters to a serviceman funeral. Girls with nurturing instincts actually are more sought after than the 'hot' girls, simply because they are approachable, and (more importantly) they cater directly to the emotional needs of the guy. And what makes it worse is that nurturing girls have a really hard time setting hard boundaries for guys, simply because.... you got it... they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Now this becomes a Catch 22 situation: If the girl doesn't lay down boundaries, then the LSE guy will hold onto whatever scrap of hope he perceives to exist, no matter how small or illogical. If she does manage to lay them down (sometimes late in the game) the LSE guy doesn't know how to take it well, and can feel offended, hurt.... betrayed even. That's where the more severe cases can become violent or suicidal.

Unfortunately there's nothing that the nurturing girl can do, other than try to explain that they value the friendship, but they just don't feel that way. At some point they have to walk away and let the LSE guy deal with his own feelings.

For myself, I can remember the moment where I finally slapped some reality back into my head. I had to force feed myself the following truths.

* It's not the girl's fault that she doesn't 'love' me. She never asked for me to obsess over her. Blaming my hurt feelings on her was totally unfair.

* I am responsible for my own happiness. Asking someone else to rescue me from my low-self esteem is unreasonable. I'll have to come up with my own reasons to feel good about myself.

* My life isn't that bad. In fact, it's not bad at all. My friends don't feel sorry for me, they think I'm being pathetic. Pretty soon, they will not want to hang around me any more.

* As long as this continues, I can't imagine why anyone would want to be my girlfriend.

Things didn't change overnight, but they did improve gradually. I finally entered into a relationship that stuck... and believe it or not, my decisions at that crossroad lead me down the path to becoming a music teacher. Twenty years later: wife, kid, house, career, masters degree.... life is good.

People like to say things like "If I were to go back, here's what I would change...." I'm not sure how much I would change. After all, everything we experience makes up who we are... and I like who I am today. I feel bad that getting here involved occasionally embarrassing myself, and sometimes hurting people that I actually cared about. At the same time, it might have been nice to have some assurance that I actually did have something to give to the world, and that yes - I could be loved.

Now I'm watching kids go down the same road, and I can only hope that they find their way... hopefully without doing anything stupid.

"Owner of a Lonely Heart" - Yes

Move yourself
You always live your life
Never thinking of the future
Prove yourself
You are the move you make
Take your chances win or loser
See yourself
You are the steps you take
You and you and that's the only way
Shake, shake yourself
You're every move you make
So the story goes

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Say you don't want to chance it
You've been hurt so before
Watch it now The eagle in the sky
How he dancin' one and only
You, lose yourself
No not for pity's sake
There's no real reason to be lonely
Be yourself Give your free will a chance
You've got to want to succeed

After my own decision
They confused me so
My love said never question your will at all
In the end you've got to go Look before you leap
Owner of a lonely heart
And don't you hesitate at all, no no

Owner of a lonely heart

Sooner or later each conclusion
Will decide the lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
It will excite it will delight
It will give a better start

Owner of a lonely heart
Don't deceive your free will at all
Don't deceive your free will at all
Owner of a lonely heart
Don't deceive your free will at all
Just receive it

Houston, We Have Lift Off!

The skill assessments are a go. They are slow going... I probably won't finnish up in all the classes until Wednesday of next week. It's okay, though - I am seeing and hearing a lot of things that I can't just pick out during rehearsal. I am finding that there is more strength individually than what I can hear from the whole group, and that is promising.

I had a thought today that scared me a little - once I get through these assessments, I still need to do goal setting and then a reevaluation at the end of the year. Given how long this is taking, I'm not sure I can do all that given the remaining time until the end of the year. Or.... maybe I need to remember what I told myself before I started testing: Just see where the cards fall - figure out the next step later.

One thing I have enjoyed about these last few days - I am finally seeing my students as individuals, not as blocks of instruments.

Spring Break 2011

Spring Break crept up on me sooner than I thought. I know, the thought of Spring Break 'creeping up' is unfathomable... most teachers and students have been tracking it on the radar since Winter Break. I have so many projects in the works, I actually find myself wishing for more time between now and the end of the year, and Spring Break is sort of the "two minute warning" of the academic world.

Despite my promises, I pushed my skill assessments to the week after break. I suppose I should feel crappy about it, but the truth is that I worked my ass off last week. I had a couple of other big projects going, and I decided rather than stress myself out to get everything done before break, I should focus myself on one thing at a time, and use the break to regroup. That turned out to be a wise choice.

I also didn't make any promises to do a lot of school-related work over break. Instead, I got tons of home projects done, including a full house cleaning, setting up shelves in the garage (including two sets of hanging storage units), re-taping speaker wires underneath the railing in the living room (away from Maestro Jr.'s reach), reorganizing the man-cave... and somewhere in there I managed to take a trip to see my family in South City.

Here I am on the last Friday of break, looking at Monday looming on the horizon. Given all the work I've done in the last two weeks, I don't feel particularly depressed - but I do feel increasing pressure to deliver on my promises. My plan is to devote all of tomorrow afternoon to preparing for the assessments this week. Hopefully, that will be enough time. Technically, I have until Wednesday of next week, since I'm not scheduled to start auditioning until then, but I'd rather not wait until the 11th hour. Besides, I have another joint-district project happening on Tuesday evening - I need to get the planning done before then so that I'm not trying to worry about two things at once (like last week).

Tomorrow I need to finalize my audition sheet. I plan on incorporating the standard categories that I usually employ in auditions: Basics (posture, hand position and embouchure), Rhythm, Tone and Nuance. Eventually I will incorporate scales, but for now, I'm just going to use a prepared selection (from the current repertoire) and two levels of sight-reading (which will probably take up the bulk of the preparation).

Tally-Ho!

You see me now, a veteran...

...of a thousand psychic wars
I've been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at
And far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside
I'm not sure that there's anything left of me

Veteran of Psychic Wars - Blue Öyster Cult

It's not that bad... I just feel like I've been getting my ass kicked lately. My "Great Reform" is in a constant state of near-stall, putzing along in small advances here and there, but no major breakthroughs. The only thing that saves me from full-on depression where that is concerned is the recognition of the fact that I have very little time to actually plan and develop. Most of my prep hour goes to tending to immediate classroom needs. It feels like I'm constantly working on the edges of the brush fire, but never the center.

A couple other things that made me feel like a total flake: Today, I had my fill of a couple of pumpkins who have been non-stop talkers in choir. They are decent singers, but constant distractions. I've talked with them both, and threatened them with detentions (of course, my lousy follow-through pretty much negated any effectiveness that might have had). But today I decided it was enough. I e-mailed both sets of parents, telling them that it had come to the point of requiring administrative attention. One parent responded within the hour, saying that she was sorry for her daughters behavior, but was dismayed that I hadn't contacted her sooner. Of course, she was right.

Why didn't I contact her? Because I was too busy? Because formal discipline requires effort and paperwork? Because deep down I dread calling parents because of the potential for backlash? All of the above. None of the above. I don't know. I just didn't.

The good news was that the tone of the parent was not particularly hostile. And when I responded, I tried to do so without being defensive, or making excuses. I simply acknowledged her concern and proceeded to suggest a way that we could work together.

Secondly, I got an e-mail from the facilities director of the church whose sanctuary we used for our December concert. She wanted to know the status of the tech invoice she sent us, and when they can expect to be paid. I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to meet with her over a month ago to deliver payment, and to set up the next concert. After our February break, I completely forgot to call her. I have the cash sitting in a lock-box, all neatly bundled up in an envelope with their name on it. I forgot to call. The e-mail ended with the statement "The fee for the coming concert will need to be payed before or on the day of the event."

Fuck.

I mean I know it isn't the end of the world, and it isn't like they are cutting us off completely, but I just hate having that kind of rep.

Oh... and the above e-mail reminded me of another individual who has been patiently waiting for payment - a piano tuner who did some work for us back in February.

Maybe I deserve the rep after all.

Lastly, I've been blowing off e-mails from the youth orchestra manager all week. Today she called and said that I needed to print and bring parts to the rehearsal tomorrow, since I never got back to her. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have a problem, except that one of the pieces is a string-only work, which means that I have to manufacture wind parts. That's when my grand plan of picking my son up early and taking him to the park were blown out of the water.

*Sigh*

You ask me why I'm weary
Why I can't speak to you
You blame me for my silence
Say it's time I changed and grew
But the war's still going on, dear
And there's no end that I know
And I can't say if we're ever
I can't say if we're ever gonna be free

Take Your Mom's Foot Out of Your Mouth, Kid

Captains Log 3252011.9 - Was teaching an SAB version of "America the Beautiful" to my choir today. Stopped to talk about some of the lyrics and what they mean. Got on a tangent about how people often blindly recite the Pledge of Allegiance or the Star Spangled Banner without much thought to the text. Somehow I got on the subject of 9/11. That's when the high-functioning autistic kid in the front row chimed in:

"When 9/11 happened, my Mom said that all the Muslims in our neighborhood must have been really happy. She says they were throwing parties and stuff."

Stunned silence from the class. I quickly diverted attention by jumping into another song. While the class fished through their folders for the music, I had a word with Autistic Ted on the side.

Oh man... I hope I don't get a phone call on that one. I mean, it's not like it was my fault or anything... but.... damn....

Nom Nom Nom

One of my students gave me five boxes of shortbread.

Five.

Boxes.

Either he likes me or he's trying to kill me.


(Pardon me while I shake the crumbs out of my keyboard)

A Dolphin in the Tuna Nets

So as you know... part of my 'great reform' involves pull-out sectionals in choir, where I go around and check each kid individually. (Mostly that's meant to light a fire under the kids who want to sit in the back and do their math homework instead of sing. ) I'm trying not to make it traumatic for people - inevitably I end up instilling terror in some kids.

Katy, for example, is a reasonably cooperative kid. She never acts out in class, shows up on time, always participates, shows up to the performances. She's far from being the best singer - in fact she's rather tone deaf, and prone to singing in her low register with a range of about a minor third at best.

Katy is also the kid who bursts into tears any time she's asked to sing by herself. I don't do it a lot... only when I'm going around checking on everyone individually. I feel really bad for her, but I can't excuse her from going through the same process that everyone else goes through. What makes it worse is that she's the only girl in her section who has difficulty just matching pitch - everyone else has a handle on the part, some of them are just really really quiet. But Katy... she's trailing the pack pretty badly, and it's pretty obvious.

It makes me feel like a complete rat-bastard.... but there's really nothing I can do. Given the philosophy of my Concert Choir class, I have no intention of holding her grade accountable for her ability. Grades are mostly participation based and... well, she is participating. Even when I ask her to sing by herself... she never resists, she just gets really embarrassed and turns four different shades of red. Her eyes then start puffing up and in no time flat she looks like she's gone a couple rounds with Mike Tyson.

I don't know... I get caught between wanting to penalize the goof offs who really don't deserve an easy A, and helping out the kids who need to be cut some slack.

Phhttt.

Progress

The Great Reform - Day 25

My productivity on developing material has stalled a little bit this week - however, I've made progress on implementing new procedures in the classroom.

* I started doing pull out sectionals in choir, and spot checking each student individually on small sections.

* I finally handed out the scale sheets in band, along with fingering charts, the circle of 5ths, key transpositions for all instruments, and one scale exercise.

* Re-introduced keyboard basics in beginning instruments - with the emphasis that all students (not just percussion) will be learning fundamentals on the keyboard.

Up next:

* Scales, bowing and shifting exercises for orchestra.

* Chord symbol - improv scale charts for jazz band.

* Begin student portfolios.


Tally-Ho!

Productive Distractions

Here I am on the last day of my President's Break. Much to my wife's chagrin, I requested that we put Maestro Jr. in day care all week (she prefer that I spend bonding time with him on my days off). I told her that I wanted to use the time to do some house projects (which mostly didn't get done, except for some cleaning) and try to make some headway on my 'great reform.' Besides, we were paying for the week anyway - we might as well use it.

When I have time off, I always imagine having more free time than I really do. I keep envisioning these 30-hour days, where I can goof-off, watch TV, sleep in, nap, snack, nap some more - and then somehow get a good 5 hours of work done. It's never worked out that way. Most of the time, I blink and find myself on the Sunday before the inevitable return to school, and all of the work I brought home is still sitting in my briefcase untouched.

I've done a little better than that this time, although I haven't made as big a dent as I would have liked. As I reported before, I got some good planning done with my string coach, which I followed up at home by filling in similar goals for my wind and percussion students. Today I made a decent effort, although I ended up putting most of my energy into writing down scale exercises that my kids already have memorized. I did manage to finalize and print my major scale sheets - that was pretty good. I also poked around my new edition of Finale 2011 and figured out some stuff that may come in handy later (Turns out, the software comes with all sorts of prepackaged drills for school groups, as well as theory worksheets, stuff for jazz bands... It's all pretty impressive.) But those efforts, along with cleaning my home office, ended up being mere productive distractions from the monumental tasks that I really should be working on:

1) Coming up with a time frame to do assessments that will serve as the basis of my multi-level learning and grading process.
2) Coming up with the format and materials for said assessments.
3) Designing the standard keyboard lessons and practice exercises that I need for my beginning instruments class.
4) Coming up with the rhythm worksheets that I'm going to actually implement as homework in my instrumental groups.

I did , however, have an epiphany the other day after I started thinking about individual student progress sheets. What I really need are student portfolios that follow them through their career with the NRHS Music Department. I mean a database that tracks everything, from their progress through the skill levels to listing every solo they ever performed, as well as any honor groups they participate in. I mean yeah, it will be a lot of work setting that up (not that I don't already have enough ambitious projects on my plate. But if I start picking at it, I may be able to use it as a focal point for the new multi-level teaching and assessment process.

Hmmm... I wonder if using Microsoft Access might help. I've poked around with Access a few times, but I never got into it enough to utilize it. I've been keeping most of my information in Excel files.

(See this is the point where I get lured into another productive distraction - where I spend the rest of my weekend poking around Access and not addressing the stuff I need for next week. But then, you gotta jump into it sometime.)

It is now approaching 4:30, and I have to go pick Maestro Jr. from daycare. *sigh*

Picking up speed

Well, the President's holidays gave me a few days to work on my stuff. It's still a little slow going - having a toddler at home can impede things, somewhat. Yesterday, I was supposed to devote the entire day to school stuff. I basically woke up late, made breakfast, went back to sleep... and by the time I crawled out of bed again it was almost time to pick the little one up from daycare. And once he's home... well... you can forget about doing anything else.

Today was a little different. I made an appointment to meet with my string coach - so at least I got out of the house. We met at the school and started hashing through my skill-level structure. It was actually pretty productive, but more because of her than me. Not that I was being particularly sluggish - but we were going over the orchestra coach, and she's the resident string guru. I was trying to keep all of our ideas all nice an tidy on the computer, meanwhile she was scribbling things down at a fever pace. After only an hour and a half, she had to leave to go teach a lesson, and I was left with pages of handwritten notes.

Awesome.

We basically laid out levels 0-2, how to address posture and instrument position, how and when to introduce shifting, How to divide up the rhythmic concepts by levels (which was really my forte, I had already been doing the same thing for the band classes, and the concepts are pretty much the same.) It's weird, because I feel like I'm reinventing the wheel a little bit. It occurred to me while we were talking that these were the same issues that must have come up with people who were putting together beginning methods books. Still, the method books are meant for homogeneous classes, and we are specifically developing a process for mufti-level classes.

Throughout all of it, I had to keep reminding myself: keep it simple, keep it do-able.

My next goal will be to invent a student progress sheet. I'll do that tomorrow, if I don't end up repainting the front porch, that is.

Slow Start

My "Great reform" is off to a slow start, due to this week being marked by a big performance trip on Monday, as well a me getting sick over the weekend (It was entirely my fault... I finished off a bottle of wine by myself, which not only affected my productivity on Saturday night, it threw my immune system into a tizzy.)

Whatever bug I fell victim to has now taken hold with both hands, and I have officially reported in sick for tomorrow. The funny thing is, I'm not even calling in sick for me.... Maestro Jr. has another ear infection and will have to be out of day care for a couple of days. I expect to be back on Friday, but you never know. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to take care of him and myself at the same time... we'll see how that goes.

Still, the week wasn't a total waste. I implemented two things - the pull out sectionals for choir, and the revised participation point system. The big task will be setting up and implementing the skill level structure - but then we have a big break coming up next week, I should be able to make some headway.

The Old Drawing Board

Well, here I am 24 hours into my 2nd semester reform campaign, and so far it isn't a bad start. I finally did something that I've been wanting to do for years - I wrote out my own scale sheet for the 12 major keys. I know, I know... there are tons of resources already out there for something so common as major scales. But you know how it is when you want something written the way you want to teach it. It's the same reason that I always use tests of my own design (which hasn't always been a good thing - I'm prone to errors)

One of my pitfalls started to kick in - Sometimes I can set myself on a path to complete a task and I get distracted by 'side quests'. There was one time, back when I was teaching AP Music Theory, that I grew frustrated having to always write certain music symbols in by hand when making handouts and tests. I'm talking about stuff you won't find even when using Finale or Sibelius, because they aren't used in actual notation, only when analyzing music: inversion symbols, 7th chord symbols (raised), numbers with scale degree chevrons over them, accidentals, etc. So to that end, I downloaded a simple font editor and I basically made my own music font. That took some time. I was meticulous, and it actually delayed a quiz for a couple of days. I mean, I'm glad I did it - now I have it to use if I ever teach theory again, and it's a cool resource to share with colleagues.

I also spent a couple of weeks developing a universal chart that can be used to calculate intervals, scales, modes triads and 7th chords. I'm actually surprised that no one ever thought of doing something like that before. If it's out there, I haven't seen it - which means that I may even want to think about getting a copyright on that little baby.

Anyway, I found myself pouring over this scale sheet, and realized that I needed to step back and focus on threshing out the weekly schedule a little more. I also started sketching out a rough draft of my idea for having a skill-level designation system for assessing my instrumental classes (basically, a way of assigning different sets of goals and expectations based on the student's experience - something that I need to do if I'm going to continue to work with 7-12 students in the same class.) I was freaking out because I wanted to get everything right before I imposed this new system on my students. I had to remind myself that I'm in experimental waters, and that I need to put it together as best I can and try it out. Then I can tweak it any way I like as I continue to use it.

There are a few pros and cons to my undertaking:

Pro: Being that this is music instruction that we're talking about, there is no pressure to have solid results quickly. I don't mean to sound lazy - but it is nice to plan progress without having the knowledge that someone's college acceptance, or the schools standardized test results are riding on my success. That gives me time to plan, experiment and adjust. It may even take a few years to stabilize. No worries.

Con: There are no guidelines to fall back on. I'm basically forging ahead in uncharted waters. Oh sure, there is the state framework - but it's fairly useless, since none of the standards for music in the elementary grades are being met. It's like looking for standards for teaching English to a high school sophomore who hasn't learned the alphabet yet. And I can guarantee you that there are no published methods for dealing with a program that mixes middle school and high school students in the same class.

Pro: If I actually come up with something that works, I'll publish a book or two, and probably make a lot of dough on the music education lecture circuit.

Again, we'll see if this round of promises actually plays through. But I've taken the first steps beyond just saying "I should....", and that's probably the hardest part - kind of like exercising.

We're Going To The Moon

In 1961, JFK announced to the world that the US would send someone to the moon before the decade was out. Shortly after, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (after picking their jaws off the ground and changing their underwear en masse) set to work. With some good old American determination and elbow grease, they came through with flying colors.

At the beginning of this year, the Maestro declared that he was going to be the best music teacher, husband and father that he could possibly be. Checking in at the semester, he seems to be averaging 2 out of 3. Not that he's been a particularly bad music teacher, it's just that he's revisiting some of his promises this year (particularly the bit about making an 'A' grade in band actually mean something) and realizing that he's come up short.

[turns off 3rd person mode]

In my last post I examined the dilemma between career and family. In this one I am beginning the chronicle of my attempt to burn the candle at both ends and survive the process. Will I succeed? Who knows... What I do know is that I'm tired of making promises to myself that I don't keep.

My first step was to inform my classes of my plan to integrate a new weekly schedule devoted to the goals of advancing individual skills, meeting the diverse needs of the student population, and increasing student accountability. Oh, and along the way, I'm going to achieve world peace and restore the global economy. The students seemed to be enthusiastic - but see, this isn't the first time I've promised to bring big change to the NRHS Music Dept. My problem isn't a lack of ideas - oh, I have ideas a-plenty. My problem is turning those ideas into a reality and making them stick. I'm starting to feel a little like DaVinci, a renowned genius plagued by follow-through issues.

My biggest problem is a distinct lack of planning and resource-gathering time. I constantly find myself in class thinking "Oh, I'll do something about ________, all I need is to develop a lesson plan for it." I even have a flash of how the lesson will unfold, and what materials I should have (all self-engineered, of course.) The next thing I know, it's June, and none of the promises / threats have come to pass.

I keep complaining how tired I am of being an academic / artistic flake.

I keep telling myself I will change.

I'm tired of letting myself down.

Well, I'm officially doing something about it. The first thing I had to do was figure out how I was going to find planning time. I have one daily prep - which is usually wasted doing some administrative drivel. I also have a free sixth period, but I'm usually too wiped out to do anything particularly meaningful (although I've been better about that kind of thing lately). The only thing I could come up with was to use class time, and to get the students in on the planning process. I'm going to use a little of my weekend time (which usually goes to home maintenance) and devote it to lesson planning. (This won't take away from family time, since my wife ordinarily takes maestro Jr. to visit the in-laws for most of Saturday and half of Sunday, anyway.)

I'm going to come up with goals that are simple, practical and attainable. I am going to develop a schedule that is easy to follow and maintain. I am going to create materials that are useful, simple to implement and above all else - reusable. I am going to cut out the monthly allotment of participation points in favor of a one-time semester total, assigned at the outset of each semester, from which deductions will be made as we go. I will develop a method of in-class assessment that balances efficiency with effectiveness. I will keep a record of my successes and failures.

I will make some progress towards being a better teacher, however modest it may be.

I start today... I start tonight. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Priorities

Last week our head football coach resigned. I don't have all the gossip yet. The official explanation was "personal reasons". A lot of people are assuming that he got a better offer somewhere else, although one of the rumors is that he wants to keep teaching at New Republic High School. Some people are saying that he was getting pressure from his wife to be home with the family more.

Touchdown Tom was hired a few years ago to rescue the varsity team from a decades-long losing tradition. He seemed to be doing well, this last year in particular... this news seems to come while he's in the middle of his stride. Whether or not the family part is true, it certainly wouldn't be the first time I've seen that kind of thing. I've known people to 'throw away' successful careers (or at least scale them way back) for the sake of their families... sometimes letting recently-completed graduate degrees collect dust while they trade in their lesson plans for baby bottles. I don't mean to be critical of that - I'm a parent myself and I understand all too well what's at stake.

I was, however, a little surprised to hear about Tom though. He struck me as... well, the same as every other coach I ever met. He was absorbed into his game - and in Tom's case it was so much so that he didn't really care about any of the peripheral stuff (including band... for which I am very grateful). Football is who he is... the same way that music is who I am.

Anyone who heads up a high-profile program like music or sports basically has a choice: you can be a power player, or you can have a normal life. I don't know many who manage to do both. Sitting at the big kids table in your field often means taking yourself (and your students) to the point of obsession. Late nights and early mornings, extra practices, weekends, holidays, summer vacation, expecting students to prioritize your program over their studies, expecting parents and even other faculty to bend their plans around your program,... and lets not forget the fund raising (being the best at what you do isn't only hard, it's expensive.)

The lure of being a championship team, band, orchestra, choir... whatever... is pretty powerful. Students and families are willing to go the extra mile, because the pay-off is so desirable, and they can run their engines that high, because it's usually a four year stretch at most (Maybe more if there are siblings). There was always light at the end of the tunnel - eventually they would get their nights and weekends back. But for the director (coach) it's a never-ending onslaught of year after year, until they resign or retire. After a while, it takes toll on your marriage... and your children. It essentially sets the director up for a situation where he is prioritizing other people's kids over his own. The parents and students very rarely acknowledge this - they are usually too absorbed into the experience to realize that the director even has a life outside of their job.

Of course there are the guys who live and breathe that kind of intensity. The whole reason they went into music/sports in the first place was to have their name at the top of the competition charts. Those guys... well... sometimes they get to the end of their career and say "I wouldn't change a thing" sometimes they realize that they are approaching retirement, with nothing to look forward to because they let a marriage (or two... or three) dissolve, and they have little or no relationship with any children they might have had. Principal Leto was on that path - he told me flat out: "As you plan for the expansion of your program, keep your family in balance. I went the route of having the nationally competitive band, and I made personal sacrifices that I now regret."

Now, it sounds like I'm building up to a no-brainer conclusion: family comes first. And to be honest - I sense that in the end, after having done all the math, that's the way it has to be. Still, there are complications and contradictions in that statement. As noble as true "family comes first" may be, it denies the ideology that we've been feeding to kids all of their young lives: "Reach for your dreams."After all, the whole point of education is to prepare people for their futures - bright wondrous futures filled with endless possibilities, or so we claim. But then it also seems that the highest peaks of achievement can only be reached with unflinching personal commitment, the kind that requires sacrifice. With that in mind, perhaps the statement should be amended to - "You can do anything you want, as long as you don't want to have a family."

So where does that put you if your life dream was to be a coach or a music teacher.... and a good one?

Personally , I think the true path is somewhere in the middle. We spend our youth preparing for the thing that provides self-definition. It is the "me" that we choose... and without it, we are shapeless, faceless specimens of humanity. Part of being a good husband, and a good father is being a strong individual that is based on the chosen path. It provides more than sustenance and security, it provides perspective and experience - things that your children can benefit from by mere proximity. Or, as one of my closest mentors put it "The most important thing you have to teach is yourself."

My wife looks at her job primarily as a means for an income. ( This fits the 'family first' model very well, but in all honesty, I cringe at the thought of living in a society where no one made a personal investment in their work. ) If we won the lottery tomorrow, she'd never step foot in her work place again. I, on the other hand, would probably still teach. It's just who I am. My wife thinks that I put career before family, but that isn't true - despite the fact that I've been a pretty heavy workaholic at times. It's also true that had she forced a choice early on - our relationship or teaching music... well, we might not be married today. I only say that because I can't see denying myself my calling for a mere principle. But at the same time, I do believe marriage and family hold trump cards that can beat all hands under the right circumstances.

I will be the best music teacher I can be, and I will put in long hours, late nights and weekends where necessary - but I will also draw the line and set aside family time that is off limits to my school work. I will occasionally be away from my wife and son, sometimes for weeks for travel with youth groups and/or summer institutions, but I will cancel it all if I am needed at home. I will continue on down the path that I chose as a young adult. I will refine my skills as a teacher and as a musician, and I will always consider my work to be the main conduit through which I can have a positive influence on the world - but if circumstance demand my full attention on my family, I will put the teacher and musician aside.

The Dangerous Game

Confiscated a phone today from a kid who has a talent for getting under my skin. Mouthy, immature.... and that's for a 7th grader. I've confiscated electronic devices from him before, and I've read him the riot-act both publicly and privately about it.

After class he came to me. he was terrified that I would notify his parents. Of course, I threw it back on him. The last time I took his toys, he looked me in the eye and told me that he wouldn't do it any more. Since he went back on that promise, I didn't see any reason not to notify his parents (which was inevitable - not being his first phone offense, they would have to pick it up from the front office themselves.)

What came out next was the shocker:

"They might hurt me if you tell them."

Now, understand that I would never condone a physical assault on a child - however if I were the kind of adult that would do such a thing, this kid would be high on my list. But that's beside the point. His little comment brought the conversation to a new level, one that left me with few options. I was hoping for both of our sakes that he was playing a very risky bluff card. Unfortunately for him, my next card was not a bluff.

"In that case, I have to refer this issue to counseling"

His eyes got as wide as dinner plates.

"No, don't do that, it will make it worse!"

"I don't really have a choice - I'm required by law...."

"Please.... I said something at my last school, and it only made everything worse..."

"Be that as it may...I...am...required...by...law..... If I do not report it, I would be an accessory to a crime."

"I'll promise, I'll never do it again..."

"There is no bargaining here... I have a clear path dictated by both my conscience and the law. Even if that were not the case, you already went back on one promise. I have no reason to believe that you won't do it again. "

"I lied."

"Really?"

"It never happened. My dad never beat me."

"I see. Well, one of two things is going to happen. One is that I report the incident to counseling, who may in turn report it to Child Protective Services, and you have an investigation on your hands. The other is that I contact your parents, explain the incident to them, and tell them that you concocted a story that involved fictitious child abuse on their part in order to prevent me from contacting them in the first place. You tell me which you would rather have."

"........(sobs)........"

"Here [hands him a hall pass] take this to your next class. At the very least, expect to talk to your counselor today."

Here's the funny thing. Given the potential severity of the situation, I had to accept the possibility that what he was telling me was true - And yet I was still pissed at him. Like seething hot barely able to keep from trembling pissed. I guess when it comes right down to it, I didn't believe him. I've known kids, a lot of kids, actually, who were the victims of family abuse, and he just didn't...feel like one of them. I can't explain it, but my gut tells me it was a poorly concocted ruse.

On the odd chance it isn't I took it too the middle school counselor, who called the kid in and talked with him. She told me later that since he didn't a) have any physical signs of abuse and b) didn't get a 'confession' out of him, she couldn't refer it to CPS. Like me, she thinks he was just trying to get out of trouble with his parents.

So my dilemma is what to do with it now. I turned the phone in to the front office who (I hope) called the parents in to retrieve it. I'm wondering now if I should contact them directly. A good friend advised me to send a simple message, informing them of the incident and adding "he seemed particularly distressed at the idea that I would talk to you."

That seems like the best thing, although I'm not sure how I would feel if it did lead to some sort of undue harassment or physical abuse. At the same time, is it my fault if it does?

Happy 2011

Sorry, I've been away for a while. This year I find it more difficult to stay up with my blog - raising a toddler will do that to you.

Anyway, Happy (belated) New Year. Here's a funny thing that happened this morning:

I passed out a new song in my advanced choir - a German madrigal. We currently have a student who is a transfer from an international school in Germany. She's American (and speaks English without an accent) but she basically grew up with the language, so it seemed natural to enlist her help with the pronunciation.

Me: "Not to put you on the spot, Diane, but since you are a fluent German speaker, maybe you can help us. "

Diane: "Umm well.. actually the first line 'Tanzen und springen' (Dancing and leaping)... everyone needs to make sure they put the 't' sound before the z in Tanzen. ('tahntzen')

Me: "Like the way we say 'Mozart'. 'Tan-zen' probably sounds funny to a German speaker.

Diane: Well, without the 't' it sounds like the German word for 'transvestite'.

Me: Ah..... good to know.