So... my choir crisis seems to ave subsided. This makes me happy because all the people involved were students that I like. It would have made me sad to have bad thoughts between us.
But before I start feeling too good, I must tell you about my meeting with Palpatine today:
She and I met with some of my colleagues over our plan to start an after-school band and strings program for the elementary students on our side of the district. Now, I have to admit... Palpatine did and said a lot of good in this meeting (which she has done before) but just before we adjourned, it became apparent that her support comes with a renewed hope that we'll be forming a marching band soon.
Now, this comes as no surprise to me. But what annoyed me the most about the end of the meeting was the blatant misconceptions that she has about me. She doesn't understand why I teach music. She thinks I want to train future professional musicians. Actually, I would actively discourage kids from wanting to be professional musicians... it's scraping a hard living by playing mostly pop drivel. What I want is to give people a gift of beauty. To take something away that they'll use for the rest of their lives.
For her, it's all about the kids having fun. That's what I'm good for.... keeping the kids entertained. Lord knows that I'm all about having fun... but... shit...
The few people that read this blog know what I'm getting at. I need to say it anyway.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Mutiny on the Bounty
So, certain members of my advance choir have come under the impression that they should not be asked to sing anything that they don't like. From what I understand, my selection of a Caribbean holiday carol is prompting several of them to "boycott" by not singing during rehearsal.
So here's where I'm at: The song itself doesn't have a whole lot of educational value. Lord knows it was composed or even arranged by anyone of particular significance. Its just a cheery little holiday song. But now the afore-mentioned malcontent members has put me in a position of having to hold to it simply out of principle. There's no way I can set the precedent that ensemble members have the right to veto a director's selection. No school or professional choir operates thus. I'm imagining an exodus out of this group at the semester over a silly little holiday song. I have to address the situation first thing tomorrow, 0 period.
Fuck.
So here's where I'm at: The song itself doesn't have a whole lot of educational value. Lord knows it was composed or even arranged by anyone of particular significance. Its just a cheery little holiday song. But now the afore-mentioned malcontent members has put me in a position of having to hold to it simply out of principle. There's no way I can set the precedent that ensemble members have the right to veto a director's selection. No school or professional choir operates thus. I'm imagining an exodus out of this group at the semester over a silly little holiday song. I have to address the situation first thing tomorrow, 0 period.
Fuck.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Two violists walk into a bar...
For those of you not in the know:
In the musical world, people joke about the viola.
Viola players have a horrible reputation for being substandard musicians. This is mostly because a lot of orchestras don't have enough viola players, so they recruit substandard violin players to do the job. Hence, the viola section tends to be a bit sketchy. (often times, more than a bit)
I try not to tell viola jokes out of respect for the violists I know and love. Unfortunately, this year the viola section in my orchestra provides ample justification for the stereotype. During our first concert of the year, they got off-tempo in both of their pieces. I actually walked towards them and started beating my baton ion the air just above their stand. When that didn't work, I started counting out loud. Even that failed. I think I could have burst into flames and they still wouldn't have looked up.
Now, if I think the kid is trying their hardest... I don't say very much and just put up with it. But when I stop in rehearsal and gently try to address the problem... and the violists start talking to each other once while I'm lecturing and writing things on the board... well that's when I snap and make their substandard performance a public discussion.
So yeah...
Q: What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline
Q: What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a viola.
Q: Why do viola players leave their cases in their car when they go to rehearsal?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spaces.
Q: What's the shortest book ever written?
A: It's a toss-up between "French Military Victories" and "The World's Greatest Viola Virtuosos"
Q: There's a $100 bill in the middle of a room. In the corners of the room stand a first violinist, a second violinist, a virtuoso violist and a bass player. Who gets the bill?
A: The second violinist. The bass player doesn't know what's going on, there is no such thing as a virtuoso violist, and no first violinist would go anywhere for only $100.
Q: How do you know when a violist is at the door?
A: They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.
(Just FYI... I didn't tell these jokes in class... but I had to let them out somewhere)
In the musical world, people joke about the viola.
Viola players have a horrible reputation for being substandard musicians. This is mostly because a lot of orchestras don't have enough viola players, so they recruit substandard violin players to do the job. Hence, the viola section tends to be a bit sketchy. (often times, more than a bit)
I try not to tell viola jokes out of respect for the violists I know and love. Unfortunately, this year the viola section in my orchestra provides ample justification for the stereotype. During our first concert of the year, they got off-tempo in both of their pieces. I actually walked towards them and started beating my baton ion the air just above their stand. When that didn't work, I started counting out loud. Even that failed. I think I could have burst into flames and they still wouldn't have looked up.
Now, if I think the kid is trying their hardest... I don't say very much and just put up with it. But when I stop in rehearsal and gently try to address the problem... and the violists start talking to each other once while I'm lecturing and writing things on the board... well that's when I snap and make their substandard performance a public discussion.
So yeah...
Q: What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline
Q: What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a viola.
Q: Why do viola players leave their cases in their car when they go to rehearsal?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spaces.
Q: What's the shortest book ever written?
A: It's a toss-up between "French Military Victories" and "The World's Greatest Viola Virtuosos"
Q: There's a $100 bill in the middle of a room. In the corners of the room stand a first violinist, a second violinist, a virtuoso violist and a bass player. Who gets the bill?
A: The second violinist. The bass player doesn't know what's going on, there is no such thing as a virtuoso violist, and no first violinist would go anywhere for only $100.
Q: How do you know when a violist is at the door?
A: They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.
(Just FYI... I didn't tell these jokes in class... but I had to let them out somewhere)
Untold Catastrophe Scenarios
So... we just completed our 8-hour inservice on disaster management. I agree with the basic premise of what we are attempting to do, but I think we should have approached the "training" differently. A real mock disaster would have been in order.... maybe not so so detailed as having people lying in the quad with painted-on wounds and pouring fake blood from pouches concealed in their clothing... but having us start in our rooms and then walk through a potential situation.
The system we're implementing is supposed to be as flexible as humanly possible (good), and is intended to be a universal system that is also used by law enforcement and emergency services nation wide (also good). Despite being told that we're "way ahead" of other school districts, it still feels like we are woefully unprepared for a disaster. To many blanks were left un-filled today.
But I did manage to write down some of my own notes....
Potential Disasters not mentioned in today's proceedings:
Zombie Infestation
Mars Attacks
Godzilla
"Order 66"
Earth demolished to make way for intergalactic bypass
Active Mime on campus
Kenny G concert in ear-shot
Starbucks goes bankrupt, causing a world-wide gravitational implosion.
Methods of communication not discussed:
War drums
Signal fires ala "Return of the King"
Sensing disturbances in the Force.
the "Twilight Bark"
Methods of keeping students contained on campus:
Announce special seminar in the gymnasium:
"How to build twice the college resume with half the effort"
Choosing an Incident Commander:
Have a "no blinking" contest
"Trial by Stone"
Duel with Iocane powder
Pick person with the highest Midichlorian count.
The system we're implementing is supposed to be as flexible as humanly possible (good), and is intended to be a universal system that is also used by law enforcement and emergency services nation wide (also good). Despite being told that we're "way ahead" of other school districts, it still feels like we are woefully unprepared for a disaster. To many blanks were left un-filled today.
But I did manage to write down some of my own notes....
Potential Disasters not mentioned in today's proceedings:
Zombie Infestation
Mars Attacks
Godzilla
"Order 66"
Earth demolished to make way for intergalactic bypass
Active Mime on campus
Kenny G concert in ear-shot
Starbucks goes bankrupt, causing a world-wide gravitational implosion.
Methods of communication not discussed:
War drums
Signal fires ala "Return of the King"
Sensing disturbances in the Force.
the "Twilight Bark"
Methods of keeping students contained on campus:
Announce special seminar in the gymnasium:
"How to build twice the college resume with half the effort"
Choosing an Incident Commander:
Have a "no blinking" contest
"Trial by Stone"
Duel with Iocane powder
Pick person with the highest Midichlorian count.
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