Getting the Edge Back

After realizing that I need to take more control of my destiny, I also came to the conclusion that I need to set musical goals for myself. Since I got my master's degree, I've kind of relaxed a bit... maybe more than a bit. At one time, my work ethic reflected that of my obsessive-compulsive conducting mentor. These days...not so much. There are three things I would like to focus on over the next two years:

1) Regain my prowess as a conductor. Not that I've been a particularly bad conductor, but I think I've lost some of my "Chi". I need to do real score study again. I need to learn new repertoire. I need to practice my baton skills; tighten up my beat patterns and work on my tempo. You know....regain the edge...

2) I need to strengthen my skills on my instrument. I'll probably never regain the stamina I had in college (I'd need at least 4 hours of practice a day, and when you teach that kind of time is kind of hard to come by.) But I'm tired of going into private lessons and making as many mistakes as my students. I need to review scales. I need to refresh myself on the standard etudes (especially the Ferling book... it's practically the saxophonists bible). If I can, I need to look for opportunities to play in a volunteer or semi-pro group. (The Gershwin performance just re-sparked the joys of being a player.)

3) Most important: I need to get back to programming music that I believe in, not just scramble up pieces to fill time in the concerts.... music that means something to me. Music that I can dig into and learn about. Music that I can make a personal connection to.

I think it's the third one that mostly affects the other two: It's not that I don't want to be a good player or a good conductor... it's that I stopped looking for things worth performing. I hadn't given myself the thrill of discovery, musically speaking, in quite some time.