Just like everyone else.... But *Special*

Another round of auditions for my advanced choir.  The  autistic girl who has been trying to get in for four years tried out again... and was rejected again.  She's not a bad singer, just not good enough to get in.  Given the fact that she's a kid who loves to sing, and she's been a loyal member of my lower choir for years... I'm trying to work out some kind of a compromise.

At the same time, I'm annoyed by the mom who wrote a scathing e-mail to the principal - accusing me of being prejudice and elitist.  She's a parent who is upset that her kid didn't make the team... I get that.  Really, I do.  She can even disagree with me over the quality of her kid's singing.
But to call me elitist?   Here's the thing that irks me about that - she would be totally willing to support my elitism if only I would include her kid on the roster.  Had I done that, she'd be singing my praises and looking at the other kids who didn't make it and say "Well, you know, not everyone makes the cut, you just have to accept it."  It's the very fact that my advanced choir is *selective* that makes it appealing to a lot of people.

I also get that this is as much about social acceptance as it is about singing.  Both mom and kid look at my advanced choir - where the girls get special dresses, and there's a strong camaraderie that doesn't quite manifest in the 'lower choir' (mostly because of its size and the fact that it tends to be a bit of a counselor dumping ground)... and they want that.  It's not hard to understand.  Is it cruel to deny them that?  Does the fact that she's autistic make it more cruel in her case than with the scores of other people I've rejected over the years?

The mom says we're required to make accommodations for special needs kids.   That's true Mom, we are.  By law, we are required to mainstream special needs students into general ed classes, and we are required by law to adjust our instruction to make the curriculum accessible to them.  We are not required by law to grant them enrollment in classes that  have prerequisites.  It's the same principle that keeps your daughter out of Honors English, or AP physics.

I'm not a heartless bastard, Mom - I walked away from that audition knowing that I couldn't give you what you wanted.... and still racking my brains to figure out how I can give her what she needs.  That's where I'm going to go with this next year. Sadly, I know it won't be good enough for you.