The Uncomfortable Stretch

I don't get many 'firsts' these days.  A couple days ago I had one - an actual professional gig playing my instrument.  At first I didn't think anything of it, but a day or two before the event I got my hands on the music and went into a panic.  The truth is  that I don't quite have professional chops - more like really strong community band of chops.  I'm not a complete hack - I've got top notch tone and phrasing, which makes me a good conductor to boot.  But complex rhythms and high register stuff knock me around, and this gig had plenty of both.  The other thing about this gig was that I was playing alto sax, which means that not only were my parts more complex, they tended to be exposed.  As in solo. 
The guy that recruited me was a mentor/friend, and I've done work for him before.  Even some paid stuff.  But it was far more relaxed - playing with other teachers and students.  Nothing like the heavyweight crowd that I found myself sitting next to a couple nights ago.  It turns out that I knew a lot of the people in the orchestra - some of them *very* good friends.  I'm not sure if their presence eased embarrassment over my skills better or made it worse.  I was also worried that if I had made any major flubs, I would end up causing trouble for the contractor.  That's how the business goes.
How did I do?  I survived. I didn't do as well as I would have liked, but not as bad as the worst case scenario. All my solo stuff  came off fine (thank God)  The funny thing is that the first performance went well enough that I was almost too relaxed for the second, and ended up making a few more mistakes.  Nothing catastrophic though.  I was very aware, however, that there were two people in the room who I was certain heard every flub I made: the conductor, and the veteran pit player sitting next to me.  They were nice, neither said anything, although I wouldn't expect to be getting any calls from either of them.
The victory of the night, however, was that I made it through - and like the well worn educational euphemism says:  You gain nothing by staying in your comfort zone.  And while I am still a bit embarrassed at the mistakes I made, I came away motivated to practice and play more.  That and I made $300.

I also have a list of observations to take back to my students regarding this gig:

* NO ONE showed up late - not even the student performers.

* NO ONE showed up with only a partially complete concert outfit.

* We had ONE rehearsal.  Half the stuff I was playing, I was sight-reading.  Some of the stuff didn't get rehearsed at all.  I was one of the few people that the conductor had to stop and work with, and I was the ONLY one that he had to explain a rhythm to. (Not necessary, actually, but I was nervous)

* I can't say that there were no personal electronics, however it was drastically minimized in comparison with what you would get in a high school setting. No more than five people in a group of 30 had their phones out at any time.

* There was NO noodling (showing off) among the players on stage.  The brass warmed up off stage in the dressing room.  The strings and woodwinds tuned quietly.  The first real noise we heard was the tuning note - and then off we went on the charts.