CAT6 - The Musical

So, we just got through our yearly barrage of standardized tests. Our administration has been telling us to pump up the kids to shoot for the highest scores in the county.... Heh...

Teacher: Please remove all personal items from your testing area. Be sure to have a #2 pencil…..

Student: This blows! Why do we have to take this test?

Teacher: why? WHY?

[Suddenly, the overhead florescents go black and spot lights swirl in circular patterns until they converge on the teacher who has magically changed into a tuxedo, sporting a top hat and cane.]

[Unseen jazz orchestra kicks in to an opening shout chorus.]

[Teacher starts dancing ala Fred Astair]

Testiiiiiiiiiing!

Staaaaandardized Testiiiiiiiiiing!

And we’re requestiiiiiiing….. that you be investiiiing …. all the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

OOOoooooooh I’m not jestiiiiing! Don’t let your braaaaaaaaaaaain be restiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

We’ve other school’s scores to be bestiiiiing with our testiiiiiiing todaaaaaaaaay!

Break it down for me girls!

[Wall rolls away revealing a tiered stage… a grand stairway adorned with rows of dancing girls in sequined costumes. They break into a classic Busby Berkeley tap routine, complete with overhead kaliedescopic pattern]

[The orchestra modulates up a half step as the teacher comes back in]

OOOOOhhhhhOOOHHHHH!!!!! I SAID TESTIIIIIIIIIIIING!

DON’T YOU KNOW THE SCHOOL IS QUESTIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

TO BE NUMBER ONE IN THE WEST-IIIIIIIIIING!

SO GRAB THAT KNOWLEDGE YOUR MIND IS NESTIIIIIIIIIING!

NO PROTESIIIIIIIIIING

‘CUASE WE’RE TEEEEEEEEEEESTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING…………

[Timpani roll]

TOOOOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

[Fade to black]

[Florescent lights come back on. The room is back to normal.]

Teacher: Are there any questions?