Getting Back in the Saddle

This whole year I felt like I've been in a slump. I used to be much more productive... There's something about this year that's prevented me from getting everything done on schedule. Of course, with procrastination comes stress and anxiety. About a month ago I started waking up angry... angry that the first thing that booted up in the morning was my stress. I was tired, and I wanted my life back.

The problem was, I was rebelling against doing work outside of school. Planning, grading, preparing, writing e-mails, updating my website... none of it was getting done. I would go home with a full briefcase and basically leave it in the corner all night while I spent the night watching quality television programing with my wife.

You can see the vicious cycle at work here.

I wanted to blame Palpatine.... I really did. I wanted to say that because of her, I've lost the will to give that extra 20%. But what I feared in the depths of my souls was that I was... that I am... burning out.... Maybe I've just been here too long, doing the same thing year-in and year-out. Despite Palpatine making my life hell, it's a really cozy school. Maybe too cozy.

But then came the big May production, and I found myself being kicked into high gear again. Since then I've reclaimed some of my former productivity... I've been staying later, and using my prep time more effectively. It's coming a bit late in the school year (a week and a half left... Hah!) But better than never I suppose.

The interesting thing... in a conversation with a parent, I think I let slip how fatigued I was getting this year. I think I may have sparked a concern that I may quit *MY SCHOOL*... as it seems that the parents are talking about how they can organize to help me out more effectively in the years to come.

That makes me feel loved.