The Human Connection

Had  short, but very deep discussions with two different students today, the kind that breaks down barriers between people and draws direct lines of commonality between souls.  I know that may sound.... inappropriate.  It wasn't.  At least.... I don't think so.

The first one happened when I was giving advice to one of my graduating seniors - a kid who suddenly decided that he wanted to be a music major, even though he is kind of behind on his playing skills.  I told him about my own journey - switching majors after three years of college, and having to catch up to my peers after having being only a casual musician. It was hard, but not impossible (and honestly, after all this time, I feel like I'm still 'catching up')

It was in the middle of that story that he caught me off guard - "What made you switch majors?"  Being that he's a senior and one of my most trusted, I told him the story.  The real one.

"I had a crush on a girl that didn't go well.  I made myself miserable, and I blamed it on her... effectively ending the friendship.  I kept myself miserable for months until I realized what a jerk I was being, and how pathetic I was for expecting someone else to come rescue me from my own low self esteem.  I needed something to lift me up... but it had to come from me.  I had to own it."

He looked at me kind of wide eyed.  Then he told me how he was recently crushed after a failed attempt at asking a girl to Homecoming... and I was getting the feeling that he was amazed that someone would understand his feelings so completely, despite the age difference.

The bell rang... we both had class to get to. 


Exactly one hour later, one of my other students casually asked If I was familiar with a book she was reading.  I wasn't.  I am embarrassed to admit that I don't remember the title now - but that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that in a conversation that lasted less than four minutes, we managed to leap from the subject of the book to the fact that both of us struggle with the agnostic dilemma of facing our mortality without the benefit of belief in the hereafter.   It's actually one of the most basic issues that drives my psyche - and it is so terrifying that I rarely discuss it.  Not with my closest friends.  Not with my wife, even.  So how is it that this discussion just popped out as easily as if we were talking about the winter line-up of flavors at Starbucks? I don't know.

Before I could figure it out, the bell rang (again) and (again) we both had places to be.

But now I know that there is a boy who knows what it's like to be a 19-year-old me who just saw the object of his affection lip-locked with another guy, and that there's a girl who knows how scared the six-year-old me felt when he realized that he, like everyone and everything else, would end someday.  It comforts me, as I hope it does them.

Teacher, student... the universe eventually washes these labels away.  What's left is 'human'... and perhaps the most important thing to know is that we are, in fact not alone.