Speaking of Eyes.....

I'm having Lasik surgery next week.

It will be strange, I've worn glasses for a majority my life. The kids are joking that I'll need to wear empty frames in order for people to recognize me. I may need it to recognize myself.

I've just started to realize how this is going to affect me as a teacher and as a musician:

1) It doesn't help that I have adult ADD (Actually, I don't know this for sure, but given my highly-distractable nature... it would make sense.) In addition, aving a limited field of vision has probably added to the number of things that happen in my class that I don't react to but should. It will be interesting to see if my radar range will increase.

2) I've admitted to myself recently that I don't look at my ensembles enough when I conduct. Usually, I'm head-down in the score... that's bad. Now, the real reason for it is just not knowing the score well enough. But part of it is just a lack of courage: When you look a player in the eyes, you enforce your will upon them. Now, I'm a pretty laid back, casual guy. I don't like to think of myself as being a forceful conductor... but eye contact is necessary. I know this from my rather extensive training in conducting, and yet I can't seem to lift my eyes from the stand for more than a fraction of a second. every few bars. What little eye contact I've made has been through the safety of the filter of my glasses. I've also noticed recently how often I'll look at player over the edge of the lenses, so that their faces are blurry (it makes it easier). But in just a few days, I'll have nothing to hide behind. I'm looking forward to the challenge.