"Dead Man Walking!"

.... I think there should have been someone standing outside my front door, shouting that as I made my way to my car to go to work on Monday morning. First week back from break.... hmmpphh...

Of course I did very little of what I said I'd do over the holidays. I managed to get some CLAD work done, but not as much as I promised. No planning.... no phone calls.... and here I am. I have that sinking feeling that very little is going well, and it's mostly my fault.

Too many things in my classes aren't working - Band is stretched in too many directions, and is making very slow progress. The beginning strings are a bunch of mostly ne're-do-wells that won't stay on task and don't give a spit about playing their instruments (which is what happens when the powers-that-be stuff kids in music classes without their consent). The advanced groups are slightly demoralized... and AP Theory is starting to feel blase'

Oh and it doesn't help that about %15 of the kids are sick and showing up to school anyway. (I've been guzzling "Airborne"-laced water like it was going out of style.

Yeah, this week hurt.

Maybe, it's just "a funk." That's what one of my blogging friends called it (And trust me, Mr. AP it's not just the two of us.) It's bad enough that I'm starting to wonder if I'm burning out. My benchmark is my memory of how I felt at *MY LAST SCHOOL* If I ever get that miserable again, it's really time to start beating the bushes for a new job.

Okay, let's take a step back and look at the bright side:

* We had two successful concerts just before winter break... that's a very good thing.
* CLAD class #3 is in the mail. Just one more to go.
* Club council is working well... best student leader team ever.
* It's amazing what cleaning a room does for your mood.
* Every break and lunch I get reminded of how much I like my colleagues.
* I'm getting a new saxophone. Tenor. High performance pro model. Silver plated. Beautiful.
* There was also this little gem I got via e-mail from a former student:

Dear Mr. Maestro

I was going through some things on a shelf tonight and found the DVD that you made for our senior class when I graduated, the slideshow. I watched it for the first time since June 2006 tonight, and I want to thank you so much, partly for making the DVD, but mostly for all the wonderful years that you were my teacher at *OUR SCHOOL*. In a school where a lot was changing and new challenges came up every day, Choir every morning was heaven. For much of my time at *OUR SCHOOL* I felt like I didn't really belong. However, watching this slideshow made me really realize how lucky I was, and how much I really did have a place, and lots of wonderful friends even if I didn't completely realize it at the time. Music at *OUR SCHOOL* was my sanctuary, my stability, and my support, and I appreciate so much that you are able to almost effortlessly provide this wonderful environment for me and so many other students. Thank you for crying at every concert. Even though we poked fun at you for it, it has taught me to cry at concerts, particularly this last holiday concert, when my sister had a small solo, then looked over at me. There's something amazing and wonderful and sad about the passing of time, for as much as I'd have loved to be back on that stage that night, it was so wonderful to see my sister singing that I wouldn't have chosen to. Music is so important to me and my family, and I thank you for providing her with the same sanctuary that you gave to me. [The music classes] and every lunch period I spent in the choir room were the best time I spent at *OUR SCHOOL*.

I know that every year brings new challenges and changes, like some groups do better than others, or there are changes in administration that bring especially big challenges. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, you'll be making a difference to students because you are wonderful and amazing and have the biggest heart of any teacher I've ever had, and *Our School* is lucky to have you. Thank you again for everything.

Sincerely,

A__ H____