The Sun Sets On EHS Cheer

That's right, ladies and gentlemen... Empire High School has officially lost it's cheer squad. No joke. We're now a high school without cheerleaders. We saw the early warnings of trouble last year, when the former cheer advisor (a walk-on coach) was investigated for suspicious bookkeeping. We started this year with a new advisor (one of our faculty) but the girls didn't take to it, and soon the program was a sinking ship.

.... Ok, well, we're not entirely without cheerleaders: We do have a middle school cheer program which may eventually rebuild the high school squad. However, for the time being... we have no Varsity or JV cheer.

I find this situation very intriguing... the way the school reacts to this may give me an opportunity to communicate some of my frustrations with the way our music department has been treated as of late. After all, as unusual as it is to be a high school without a marching band, it's unthinkable to be a high school without a cheer squad. Why, the whole athletics department might just collapse into anarchy. So lets see what the athletics community (many of whom are accustomed to ordering programs like band and cheer around) will do to fill the void. The obvious solutions are:

A) Have the middle school cheer girls take over the varsity duty.

This is the most obvious, and most probable first line of defense.

Possible Outcomes: The middle school cheer girls may be thrilled to get sudden attention/appreciation... much like the lowly understudy who gets the freak chance at fame and fortune when the star suffers an injury... but ultimately I think the varsity sport schedule will overwhelm the middle school girls (and their families). Many of the parents may get uncomfortable with the sudden demands on the time and energy of their not-yet-high-school children. Also, we'll be the laughing stock of CIF if we show up to games with cheerleaders on the.... short side.

How this relates to band: Expecting a middle school cheer squad to pull varsity duty is like expecting middle school band players to do high school band duty.... But that's what we've been doing for years! This year in particular has been hard with half of those kids being beginners. Inevitably we square off against older, bigger, more experienced bands and walk away feeling like crap. Yeah, that would make me want to keep showing up to the games...

B) Utilize the nearest substitute.... like the school's dance team, for example.

Oh, just you wait... this idea is probably already formulating in the minds of the same athletic parents who have been pushing for a marching band. We have a pretty good dance club on campus (which, by the way, attracts way more attention than cheer ever did) They put on some pretty professional shows that attract big audiences. But they have also been known to perform at the pep rallies and, occasionally, at the football halftimes... which is why I'd bet that they might be the topic of discussion at the next booster/administration meeting.

Probable Outcomes: The dance teacher (who is a close friend) will have a conniption if it comes to this. Like me, she hates the idea of her students being used. Like me she wants to maintain total autonomy over deciding when to perform for who. Not only will she rage against the machine, her students will as well. It won't go down... but I bet someone will suggest it.

How this relates to band: Like dance, I have a lot of talented musicians. But they're idea of performing doesn't involve being the bitch of the athletics department. They do what they do for their own reasons... and they don't mind showing up to a game now and then. But they don't want to be "on call". I can't imagine anyone would (besides... you know.... doctors and therapists and stuff.)

C) The secret draft

I really don't think this one will happen... but Principal Palpatine might try it if she's around next year. She's the only one slippery enough to try and pull it off. Here's how it works -
Set up a class... call it anything you want: drill team, pep squad, it doesn't matter. Get some poor unsuspecting faculty member to "teach" it. Promise them that it will be a low-key thing. Fill the class with kids who didn't indicate any elective on their class enrollment sheet. Once the kids are in there, turn up the heat on the teacher to create a real cheer squad. Deny any promises you made earlier that contradict your true intentions. Insist that this is not something that the administration wants.... everyone has been asking for it. Field any complaints from the enrolled students or parents to the teacher. Meanwhile, assure athletic parents that everything is being done to create a new cheer squad, and that everyone is on the same page. Smile. Shake Hands. Kiss babies.

This seems like a really flimsy, unscrupulous way of doing things... but you know what? If you know that you're not going to be staying at a school very long, and you think you can get away with it just long enough to win the immediate support of the athletic parents (who usually have the big deep pockets)... hell, why not? You won't be around long enough to watch the whole thing fall like a house of cards. Besides, you set the teacher up to take the fall, even if you are.

Probable outcomes: One frustrated, seriously pissed-off teacher. A bunch of kids (and families) who are bewildered as to how they all got roped into this in the first place. Eventual exposure of the true evil master-mind of the plot.

How this relates to band: Oh, if you've been reading my blog... you know how this relates to band. Especially my band.

Here's what is NOT likely to happen... sadly, it's what SHOULD happen:

D) Rebuild the program with the wants and needs of the cheerleaders in mind.

See, the biggest problem is that I think the admin will not approach this dilemma from the standpoint of "We have no program for girls to join"... they're more likely to think "There's no program to service the athletic teams"(1) If I were an administrator (Principal Maestro?.... Holy shit! How did THAT thought just pop in there?) I would call in the could-be-returning-but-aren't ex-cheerleaders and have a little pow-wow. Get feedback from them. What made them quit? What might make it worth it for them to come back?

Make every decision for the benefit of the cheer kid. Yes, it is understood that cheer is, by design, a support organization. But being that no one is required to participate, the program has to be designed to be appealing and meaningful for the participants. (2) Hire someone who works for the cheer kids... not for the athletics program. Make happy cheerleaders. Happy cheerleaders will want to perform... frequently. They'll ask for more opportunities to cheer.

That's how it works.

1) I know... that sounds reeeaaaalllly bad.

2) That means more than the occasional pat-on-the-back.