Monkey on a typewriter

Apparently, if you have a million principals sitting at a million computers writing a million e-mails about marching band.... they will eventually produce one from sheer will.

One of the most frustrating things about P is that P knows very little about the marching band world, but apprently thats enough to make all sorts of suggestions (or demands... or "Jedi mind trick" assertions.)

P says that we need to have band camp, because apparently every school that shes worked with has band camp. The most successful schools run band camp starting in June. So if we had band camp, we'd have a marching band.

Problem: Band camp isn't a recruiting tool. Band camp is a training tool. We don't have marching band because of band camp, we have band camp because marching band requires it. People have band camp so that they can be ready for the first half time show at the first football game. People who start band camp in June do so because of an obsessive need to get an edge on the competitive marching season. I have no such obsession, I and I'm not about to start one.

Plus.... my summers are spoken for. Period.

P also wants me to showcase our band at our forthcoming open house. Not the jazz band... no no... that's not the group that we need to build . We have to showcase the marching band.

Problem: We don't have a marching band to showcase. I was giving P funny looks on this one... I kind of figured basic logic would have kicked in. I very gently pointed out that you can't use bait that you don't have. If P wants a marching band, first we need kids who play the right instruments. Right now the instruments that we would need to recruit the most can only be found in our jazz band. So if we want to make those instruments look attractive, we're going to have to show them the jazz group. Either that or we hire ringers.

Would somebody please explain to P that using the words "marching band" four times a minute in every conversation is not going to have any kind of a subliminal effect on me?

That conversation was cut short by a minor disaster... a car accident happening just outside the school. I don't know if anyone was hurt. I hope not. That way I can thank God for delivering me temporarily from evil. (Did I mention that I'm agnostic?)